Just less than 30 days ago, I made a deposit of around $800 into my sportsbook. Over that time, I've slowly (and surely) built the bankroll to just more than $23,500. I bet primarily baseball and college football, as those are my bread and butter. I have, in the past, developed a baseball model. I dry-tested it for two seasons and it came out significantly ahead betting large volume (~1500 bets/season). Last season, using a .4 Kelly bankroll plan, it produced 525% return on the original stake.

I've used a hybrid of my model and some of my other (untested) philosophies in this run. My run to $23.5k included only one "big hit" (a $2,000 parlay that brought the balance to $5k). From there, it's been steady growth at this point, with my average bet size sitting somewhere in the 2% range.
Let me get it str8.

With you avg bet size in a 2% range (starting bet size just about 16 bucks or so) where did $2000 parlay come from? If that parlay brought your balance to $5k does not that mean that you made $2000 bet with $7000 BR?

Here is what should happen in order to turn 800 into 23500 with 2% avg bet size.
I assume 50/50 bets and no juice. Just to keep it simple.

$800*2%=$16 bet. You bet and win. Now you have $816 BR.
$816*2%=$16 bet. You bet and win. Now you have $832 BR.
$832*2%=$17 bet. You bet and win. Now you have $849 BR... and again and again and again.

It would take winning 171 coin flips with no single loss in ONE MONTH to get to $23500 with prudent (2% per bet rule) risk management.
The last bet would be for $464 with $23180 staring BR.

Unless I'm missing something, it seems like changing your handle before posting this report was a great idea.