Originally Posted by
wtt0315
this was funny came from equinetic.com
On regular occasion, Equinetic will be interviewing a race horse in the news.
Equinetic Analyst (E): How does it feel to be undefeated? You won the Moccasin and now the Starlet at Hollywood Park.
Turbulent Descent (TD): It feels great, but I’m a little nervous.
E: About what?
TD: I’m afraid people will start to say that I’m just a synthetic specialist. That stuff started to get to Zenyatta a little bit. She felt a lot of negative energy back at Churchill.
E: You know Zenyatta?
TD: Oh, yes. She’s very friendly, and very funny. Before the Starlet, she sent me a text.
E: What did she say?
TD: “Only 17 more to go.” She’s so funny.
E: She sounds like a character.
TD: Oh, she is.
E: So what’s next for you?
TD: Oh, I don’t know. They never tell us what’s next. They don’t even tell us when we’re working out.
E: Well, tell us about your victory in the Starlet.
TD: When I saw my odds, I got nervous. I was 4-5! I don’t want people losing money because of me!
E: Did you think you would win?
TD: Not after I read what you posted about me. You said that I didn’t have the pedigree to run that far and that I was a good bet-against.
E: I’m sorry. Zenyatta was a good-bet against, too.
TD: I know what you’re saying, EA … Well, to be honest, I thought that I would win. I looked at the Form the day before, and I just didn’t see any competition. The horse you picked, Zazu, didn’t bother me. Nice call there, EA. (laughing) Plus, my trainer had me fit. I was ready to keep the streak going. Everybody was telling me that I was a monster, so I was feeling pretty confident, for the most part. But you never know. I felt that if David kept me out of trouble, I’d win.
E: Do you think you’d like to race against the boys?
TD: No way. Uncle Mo is too spectacular for that to happen. For now, I’ll just beat up on the girls. Plus, I’d be too distracted racing against Uncle Mo.
E: Why’s that?
TD: Are you kidding me? He’s the Brad Pitt of race horses. He’s a looker!
E: Do you think you can win on dirt?
TD: Absolutely! Come on, the good ones can race on anything. Like Zenyatta. I heard she smacked Ginger Punch on the dirt by daylight, and Ginger Punch was something special, from what they tell me. And Zen’s loss to Blame proved that she could run well on any surface. She got beat by only a few inches after a horrible start, worse than usual for her, and some other trouble. Come on, Blame had a tremendous home-court advantage at Churchill Downs.
E: Guess what Beyer you earned in the Starlet?
TD: Oh, please. I could care less what Beyer I earned. Andy doesn’t know how to make figures for anything except dirt. And even then, they’re not all that accurate. I mean, trainers are claiming horses because of the Ragozin numbers, not the Beyers. You never hear a trainer say, “We claimed her because of her Beyers.” No, horses get claimed because of the Ragozin numbers. Do you know what Ragozin number I earned in the Starlet?
E: No, I don’t keep track of stuff like that.
TD: And you call yourself a handicapper?
E: I’ll try to find out for you. There’s a few Sheets guys on Facebook. Who’s better, you or Zenyatta?
TD: What kind of question is that? Who’s better, EA, you or Pittsburgh Phil?
EA: Me.
TD: My, what confidence you have, EA. I think Pittsburgh Phil would have picked me over Zazu. (laughing) Come on, Zenyatta is a once-in-a-lifetime legend. I mean, she knew where the wire was. She said it was fun for her to time her run just right. She loved the excitement of the close finishes. Down at Del Mar, she almost lost one, she said, because she timed it too close. She loved hearing all of the cheers as she charged down the stretch.
EA: So did I.
TD: She was a stone-cold closer, and it was in her blood to run that way. Horses don’t win races by 17 lengths when it’s in their genetic make-up to not start running until the 16th pole. It hurt Zen that people didn’t understand that about her.
E: There’s a lot of goofy people out there who call themselves experts.
TD: You can say that again. (eyebrows raised at me)
E: Hey, I promise I’ll pick you next time, even though you’re an RIP.
TD: An RIP? What’s that?
E: A reputation-induced phenomenon. Your bank roll dies if you bet horses like that.
TD: I get it. Ha-ha … Hey, you in the mood for a Guinness?
E: My favorite. You’ve got some?
TD: Yeah, Zen had a 6-pack delivered to my stall this morning with a note attached.
E: What did the note say?
TD: “Only 16 more to go.” She’s so funny. I’m gonna miss her.
E: We all are.