[The HOFF]

This is going to be a little less serious than my usual picks. Let's start with the undercards.

JOSH BURKMAN -220 vs PETE SELL +180
The People's Warrior? Sweet nickname, you sally. Can you remember the last time you won? I can't. Pete Sell, holy shit how big is your head? If head butts were legal, you would never lose. If you've seen the movie 300, doesn't Sell look like the crippled cast off guy that betrays the Spartans?
PETE SELL +180

HERMES FRANCA -200 vs MARCUS AURELIO +160
Hermes. Fun to say isn't it. Hermes. Are you the purple haired bad ass Hermes or are you the off-steroids weakling Hermes? Marcus Aurelio has eyes like a jungle cat crack baby. Don't look straight into them or you will die instantly. Pretty sure your name was a character in Gladiator, that's straight up HARD.
MARCUS AURELIO +160

DAN MILLER -345 vs MATT HORWICH +275
Who gives a shit about this fight? Winner gets to toil around on the undercards for the rest of his career, YEAH!!!
DAN MILLER -345

SPENCER FISHER -345 vs SHANNON GUGERTY +275
Whose afraid of a guy named Shannon? And how in the hell do I say your last name? Spencer is straight up redneck. He is the kind of guy you could break a bottle over his head and he wouldn't blink. After tagging his sister, Spencer will come in and slap Shannon like the bitch he is.
SPENCER FISHER -345

THALES LEITES -445 vs DREW McFEDRIES +365
Thales Leites, another F'ing mystery in how to say your name. Thales has the physique of a 15 year old boy. He fights like one too. McFedries. That makes me think of McDonald's. Ronald McDonald is good shit. McFedries in a McFlurry.
McFEDRIES +365

SEAN SHERK -260 vs TYSON GRIFFIN +210
You don't have a neck. No, you don't have a neck. You look like a roided out midget. No, you look like a roided out midget. Wait, didn't you get busted for roids? No, I didn't do it. Let's just get sweaty and wrestle around.
SEAN SHERK -260

FABRICIO WERDUM -850 vs JUNIOR DOS SANTOS +600
Fabricio sounds like Fabio. Shouldn't you go do a commercial about butter? Junior DOS Santos? DOS? Is there 2 of you? Awesome. It must be like a tag team.
JUNIOR DOS SANTOS +600

RICH CLEMENTI +190 vs GRAY MAYNARD -240
Gray. You couldn't be named something cool like Aqua or Burgundy. It's not even like Black, all dark and mysterious. It's Gray, monotonous, dreary, and boring. Rich Clementi looks like that guy that is just a huge asshole when he's drunk. And that guy is usually pretty tough, or at least he thinks so.
RICH CLEMENTI +190

JOSH KOSCHECK -165 vs THIAGO ALVES +135
How can you like a guy that has blonde pubic hair on his head? Enough said.
THIAGO ALVES +135

ANDERSON SILVA -630 vs PATRICK COTE +480
French Canadian? You aren't even regular Canadian? Ewwh. And that little apostrophe thing on your last name. That totally diminishes your manliness. Anderson. My only criticism is that your dancing sucks. Break out some Pulp Fiction for your victory dance or even better, some Michael Jackson Thriller!
ANDERSON SILVA -630

[Bread]

Well you know that I loved this write-up! HAHAHAHAHA.

Hilarious stuff there Hoff. And I agree with most of your observations. I married a Michiganer of French Canadian descent. I think her forefathers immigrated over on a boat like Mexicans a few years ago.

As for Clementi, if you saw his fight with Guilliard, you know he's a huge dick. It's pretty funny. Unless he's fighting you.

[I.R.B]

Looks solid to me...

[The HOFF]

Well you know that I loved this write-up! HAHAHAHAHA.

Hilarious stuff there Hoff. And I agree with most of your observations. I married a Michiganer of French Canadian descent. I think her forefathers immigrated over on a boat like Mexicans a few years ago.

As for Clementi, if you saw his fight with Guilliard, you know he's a huge dick. It's pretty funny. Unless he's fighting you.

Well BREAD, I have to say your Pink Hamster breakdown was pretty damn funny, and I'd be lying if I said you didn't inspire me.

[vassman86]

lmao, well written hoff! *two thumbs up!*

[The HOFF]

7-3. Pretty good night straight up. Even hit a couple nice dogs in Sell, Alves, and Santos.