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Marlins Today
With the power of the long ball, look for the Florida Marlins (-110) to add on to the Padres miserable season today at 3:30.
Finding the Marlins at these odds for this matchup was like finding a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Or JJGold’s lost hair. Or Barry Bonds’ testicles. Either way, it was completely unexpected and a little bit exciting.
Heading into the second half of the season, Florida (46-44) looks poised to battle for the NL East’s top spot. For this to happen, they must take care of inferior teams like The Padres (36-55).
Scott Olsen (4-4 3.96) takes the mound for Florida, hoping to recover from his last start. That would be Friday’s 18-17 slugfest in Colorado, in which he gave up eight earned runs. Olsen had a great start to the year going 3-0, but has struggled some as of late, culminating in that last disaster. But that’s nothing that pitching against the lowly Padres shouldn’t heal.
Cha Seung Baek (2-4 4.93) gets the nod for San Diego. He was born in Pusan, South Korea. Pusan sounds like a town that American business men would visit without their family if you ask me. That can’t be a good sign.
I recently watched Anchorman, the story of Ron Burgundy, a moronic San Diego news anchor. In one of many hilarious scenes, Burgundy foolishly tells his date that the name San Diego was actually German for a certain part of a female whale’s anatomy. Ron Burgundy scored a homerun later that evening using that line. If only the Padres hit a homerun that often.
The Marlins are leading all of baseball in home runs (128) behind the bats of Dan Uggla, Mike Jacobs and the electrifying Hanley Ramirez. The Padres, meanwhile, are 20th in the league with a paltry 83 dingers on the year. I have watched both this Pads team, and Double Team starring Jean Claude Van Damme and Dennis Rodman in the past month. Guess which one was easier to digest?
Baek has given up seven homeruns in just 30 innings pitched this year. Olsen has allowed 17 in 111.1 innings. Baek’s ratio is about double what Olsen’s is. The Marlins should be practicing their trots before the game.
Even San Diego’s all-time saves leader, Trevor Hoffman, is struggling with the highest ERA of his career (5.14). So an unlikely late Padres lead wouldn’t even be the sure thing it used to be. Although I would be very surprised to even see him called to the mound today.
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