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Never go to Vegas alone: TI pit boss trapped me with an escort
Thursday night I was at TI playing double deck alone, had some big fat black dealer broad from Chicago. Well guys as usual I could not lose a hand. My chips were stacking up into nice towers of green and black and purple. Of course mathy attracted a lot of heat, and some dorky pitboss from Latvia came over and wouldn't take his eyes off me. I hate pit bosses, always rooting for people to lose mostly because they cannot stand the sight of somebody winning in a few hours what they make in a few months. See http://www.sportsbookreview.com/forum/players-ta...kin-loser.html.
Well they don't do anything, but in a few minutes a hot ~22 year old broad with hugesits next to me. She is some sort of latin/asian hybrid. Of course I get distracted and start losing a few hands and the pitboss smiles. Well I know what is going on here so I decide to color up and take off. The broad follows me all the way to the cashier and tells me she can make my dreams come true. She says she can tell I don't get laid a lot and that she can change that. She is right as I have had a really bad dry spell for the last 5 years or so
. Well she asks for my room number and I tell her the room number across the hall from me. She says she will be up in a few minutes. I wait by my door staring out of the fukkin peephole for 15 minutes and my eye is getting tired, I would switch eyes every few minutes but what a battle to stay focused. Finally she shows up to the door across from me, and I look to see if she is with some big black dude or something. She is alone so I open the door and say oh oops I gave you the wrong #.
She comes in and is less friendly now, just talking business. I don't like this part as it is a turnoff. She says she wants $3000 and I tell her she is crazy. I say $1500, and I want bareback everything and I want to kiss too like a girlfriend. She comes back with $2000 and we shake hands. Now get this. She says she wants to run a bath for me and scrub my balls
well i get dressed and go downstairs to gamble again. but thats when i remembered a post by grits n gravy that this could be a scam where she just came to get my room key, then bolt, wait for me to leave, come back in and take my shit. Well I play one hand of bj (11 v 6 and lose my double down.. cockfuck) and go right back up. I go into room and look around frantically, and yes, everything is still there. I relax and figure I was just being paranoid and I should stop reading SBR. Well 2 seconds later I hear a room key in my door and it opens and it's two huge ******* black guys. I mean each one had to be 300lbs. If you watch 30 rock picture grizz and dotcom coming into your room.
they just shake their heads at me and tell me to stand in the corner and to strip. i have no choice and whats worse is they laugh at my pecker which has shrunk a lot due to the stress of the ordeal. they go through my stuff and make me give them my code for the safe. well they finally leave and i turn around and they took everything, just like jjgold described (I looked even more scared than jjgold clip below). i have zero ******* clothes and they even took my SBR underwear. I have to wait for a cleaning lady to come by and get her to bring me a towel, then I go knocking on peoples doors to use their phone. well I don't know anyones phone number since its all programmed in my phone except for BAUS whom I consult with daily to see where the sharp Canadian money is going. so I have to call BAUS who gives me Fishhead's number in vegas. I call FH and of course he is at the Silverton pounding a progressive that is at $450 and must go off by $500. He is laughing at me and says he will come by soon but has to nail this progressive.
Well I fall asleep and finally there is a knock on my door. It's FH grinning from ear to ear because he nailed another jackpot. He says "sir! I nailed the jackpot! But the best part is because I'm a Diamond member they throw in a free deck of cards sir!". For those who don't know him, Fish is one of the most enthusiastic EV hunters I have ever seen. Anyways he throws me a bag full of clothes and I get dressed. Unbelievable, every single thing i'm wearing says M Resort on it. M Resort track pants, M resort sweater, M resort ball cap. He hands me an old $20 pair of Nike runners and a few meal comps and tells me he has to run because there's a video poker jackpot sitting at $2500 at Mi Casa.
I hope you guys learn your lesson from this and remember to always listen to jjgold, there is a reason why we call him the coach.
mathy
Fishhead gave mathdotcom 1 SBR Point(s) for this post.
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Originally Posted by ProfaneReality
What a hamburger
