I feel like I need to get this out to move on;
Picked my spots betting 1-2 mlb or NHL games the last few weeks with patience and discipline grinding up 500 up to 3200ish on nitrogen...hit the blue jackets ml and -1.5 for a nice score Sunday night vs Toronto and was feeling great. So what next on a Sunday night? Throw in some obscure tennis/rugby/volleyball parlays? Nah let's play in the one blackjack variant on nitrogens casino that I am not self banned for life.
One thing leads to another and my .26 in btc is now .48 (almost $6k). I quit and go to bed beyond thrilled. Of course I can't sleep and what do I do? Pickup that phone and start playing again because the inner degen in me always wins...hours later with morning (and work) approaching, I've almost lost it all and back up probably 5 or 6 times. I've had to switch to my tablet because my phone died.
Finally I see the sun coming up and hit a few big double downs in a row and quit at .42 btc ($5kish). Tell myself I'm cashing that bitch out tomorrow because I know I almost blew it all.
Get home from work that evening tired as hell and relieved I don't have to sweat mlb. Decide to hop on and play some slots (the new ones aren't covered under my self ban). Lose a few hundred quickly. Go right to bj and get the money back quickly. Go back to slots and lose again. I say f this, bj is the money maker...go on a massive massive run playing 2 hands betting like 320 a hand. ROLL UP TO 1.02 btc which is like over 12 grand!! I keep going and go down to like .97 and stop and say, 'wait, wtf are you doing? Why u still playing, you've got 11 f'ing grand??? Figure out which btc wallet u want to use and cash this shit out!'
On cloud 9 I go back to slots and blow a grand quick betting $40 a spin. No problem, back to bj...go on a massive dry spell and lose about 6 grand quickly. I'm at .5btc and I think about quitting still up great. Tell myself dont repeat the night before staying up all night and having to battle from going bust. Of course inner degen is in control and all that's out the window.
For hours I'm fighting between .2 and .6 1800 and 7200ish. Hitting both extremes literally in like 5 minute spans. Tell God that if I could just get back to .52 (profit of .1 or $1200) I'll quit. I actually get there several times. Never stopped. It was sick and disgusting. I was given a million chances to stop either still way up for the day or just the fact that I was still having thousands in my account. Finally checked the time it's 5am have to go to work soon fk...ok few more hands I'm almost at .5btc 6 grand a good stopping point, let me up my bets to get there faster...go on a massive losing streak literally losing 10-15 hands in a row.. throw my tablet on the floor in disgust with .088 left (about a grand) and sleep for an hour before going to work. Pissed off all day knowing how hard it was to get to the .26 from sports and then almost blowing it all the night before and then pretty much blowing it all last night. Especially when I had a fking whole Bitcoin.
I am just sick and disgusting and I've had this happen several times in the past you would think I would learn. I've even done it on her with betpoints blowing over 40k. I've banned and unbanned myself on 5dimes several times. First time I ever played on bodog 15 years ago I ran $200 up to $12,000 in 10 hours and lost it all in 45 minutes the next night. On nitro I'm forever excluded but every time they add a new casino game it doesn't fall under your old exclusions.
Here's a sick twist of fate: about 2 weeks ago I lost like 400 on the multihand bj on nitro and afterwards I msged support asking why I was able to play when I'm supposed to be forever banned and she said I had to make new exclusions for those newer games...you would think I would have went and straight did that but I didn't!!
If I had, then none of this would have happened. Btw I bet 500 on the royals at +160 and they tie it late only to lose in extras.
I just want my .26 btc back from Sunday evening and for this nightmare to never have existed.
PS: it's very deceptive playing bj/casino/anything with multiple repetitive bets where your balance is constantly changing betting in Bitcoin instead of dollars. At some point I probably would have stopped at 3,4,5, maybe 6000 on the downswing but when your balance is fluctuating between (for example) .20 and .34 and .42 and .51 and back down to like .32 etc etc you're not thinking about what those numbers actually mean!! Seeing .30 and .50 on the screen really doesn't make you think that that's thousands of dollars! Oh i went down/up from like .21 to .46 or down from .59 to .34 doesn't sound like a big deal..that's 3000 bucks!
Anyways thanks guys.