[ChuckyTheGoat]

JJ Gold style.

It's dog-days of August. Sports are slow. Entertain us, pal!

[Chi_archie]

Schedule:
7.00 - Wake up
7.01 - Tilt ass and slip out of bed without stepping on empty pizza box.
7.05 - Look in mirror, work on tout routine, tell yourself you are sexy and squeeze together
7.10 - Go to bathroom, step on scale. Tell yourself that soon the needle will not max out at 285.
7.15 - Go to kitchen, take bacon out of fridge. Look in mirror, ask yourself what the difference is between you and what's in your hand.
7.20 - By now you should be angry at yourself. Go onto balcony. You can wear pants but must remain topless. People walking by will point and laugh and call you names: baby fat, Babe, useless tout phuck, etc. Throw the bacon at them. This will work your arms.
7.30 - Go back to kitchen, open dishwasher and take out some dirty dishes. Lick them clean. This will condition you into thinking that food is not all there is to life.

8.00 - Throw up.
8.05 - Step on scale, see if needle is still at 'max'.
8.30 - Shower. Make sure not to slip in order to have an excuse not to work out for two weeks.

9.00 - Grab the two towels you need to dry your huge ass off.
9.30 - Get your jumpsuite and go to the gym.

10.00 - Survey the women. Find the hottest one in the gym and approach.
10.05 - Say "hey there, my name is Dave, and I am chronically obese. Can you help me get on a workout regime?".
10.06 - If she says sure, follow her instructions. If she tells you to screw off, take out your anger on a punching bag.

12.00 - By now you must be sweaty and starving. You're in luck, I'm going to let you leave the gym!
12.30 - Go to the shadiest part of town. Find a group of brothaz and try your tout routine on them.
12.35 - By now you should be running for your life. This is the best cardio you will get all day. If they don't catch you, great. If they do, maybe they can pound some fat out of you.

1.00 - Go home, relax. A normal person by now would be panicking since he forgot to call work to say he wouldn't be coming in. But you are an unemployed degenerate who thinks he can make his living flipping an unfair coin.

2.00 - Look in mirror for an hour, tell yourself you will lose weight and will look like Quebbler in no time. Do some jumping jacks. Look at those phuckin titties bounce!

3.00 - Go online, look at American health expenditures related to obesity. What a huge number. Blame yourself for all of this.

4.00 - Step on your remote. You will be changing channels on your TV manually now. If you have satellite, loosen the screws on your dish so you have to climb out there to re-align it every 10 minutes.

5.00 - Read a book on the mathematics of sports betting. Try to come to the understanding that you are a loser gambler and will need to get a real job soon.

6.00 - Take a box and unfold it. Write on the remaining piece of cardboard: "Starving. Please help." Go out to busy street corner and sit there. Make sure you wear that retarded headset. This should be the easiest part of your routine since by now your self-confidence should be totally shot.

8.00 - Take out quarter. Practice flipping coins. Record results. You will notice that after 1000 flips, there are more of either heads or tails. Frantically search the internet to see if there is a betting market for coin flipping. Post your picks with write-ups. Ignore any threads that include the words "probability", "variance", etc.

10.00 - Get ready for bed. Put on your Winnie the Pooh pyjamas, brush teeth, and read a fairy tale about the pudgy kid who once beat the bookmaker. Fall asleep and dream of a world where lines aren't efficient estimators of game outcomes.

Repeat

[Chi_archie]

6:00AM..............Shower, got some new device I put on tile (suction) It is the closest thing to a real ass. It is made of rubber but feels read..marketman no need to lube up because of warm shower water...need I say more?? It is the greatest device I ever bought
Price: Priceless

7:00AM......Post in my robe while drinking tea and having biscuits

8:30AM ..Check my cameras to see if anyone touched my fukkin land previous night

9:00AM....Laps in street..usually 60 yrd sprints, chinups , pushups....dips

10:00AM....Take a ride around City looking for Paid Trim, buy soem coke if around

11:00AM ...Go to deli and get cole cuts, rolls for games , talk with a few sharps at table, everyone shakes my hand as they know I am sharp and asks who I like

12:00AM.....Check my garden and talk with the trees

12:30PM....Usually do a line or two and bet the games

1:00PM..Kickoff, post, walk the rooster..eat a few sandwiches

2:15PM...Usually get horny and start watching porn and then make mad dash to bedroom and have fun with my projector, shaftmaster
Turn all lights out, project porn on my ceiling so it looks liek broads sitting on my face or are on top of me while I get shafmaster going, have to run 200 ft extension cord to shaftmaster because not much power upstairs..put the rooster in the device and the thing is great, electric fukkin suction, I go crazy, most of time I put towel in my mouth so nobody hears me moan. Clean up *** and everything

3:15PM...watch second halfs of early games

4:00PM ..late game bets..watch

5:00PM..usually get horny again and call a porn line/web cam porn and get off that way or try to..like for $50 an hr talk with hot chicks that actually want to meet me...we fuk around for a while

6:00PM..back to football..post of course in between all of this shit

7:00PM usually do some e-mailing..try and get posters to send me pics so I can picture face with posters

8:00PM...bet late stuff..order a fukkin pie..sprinklie with with pepper....soda
8:45 PM..while watching foots have desert (strawberries and chocolate) saw it on porn, cake, ice cream, whip cream with chocolate bananas.....cookies

9:30PM...watch football, post, drink a little champagne

10:30PM..night all horned up ready to do ANYTHING....post, try and call chicks to go out most hang up on me

11:30PM....struggling with myself, I usually break down, reflect on everything, get a big mirror and stare in it, scream, cry , see myself and what a fukkin loser I look like..I am a mess late at night post strange stuff..why me..why bald..why small rooster..why angry

12:30AM fuk it and do coke, scream a lot, go over days betting figures...strip down get into bed angry and usually spread out like 100 porn magazines and hump them all and try to get off..most of time fail

1:30 AM..exhausted from posting, fall asleep

[UntilTheNDofTimE]

A real man wakes up in the morning, goes to bed at night, and does what he wants during the day.

[CanuckG]

Schedule:
7.00 - Wake up
7.01 - Tilt ass and slip out of bed without stepping on empty pizza box.
7.05 - Look in mirror, work on tout routine, tell yourself you are sexy and squeeze together
7.10 - Go to bathroom, step on scale. Tell yourself that soon the needle will not max out at 285.
7.15 - Go to kitchen, take bacon out of fridge. Look in mirror, ask yourself what the difference is between you and what's in your hand.
7.20 - By now you should be angry at yourself. Go onto balcony. You can wear pants but must remain topless. People walking by will point and laugh and call you names: baby fat, Babe, useless tout phuck, etc. Throw the bacon at them. This will work your arms.
7.30 - Go back to kitchen, open dishwasher and take out some dirty dishes. Lick them clean. This will condition you into thinking that food is not all there is to life.

8.00 - Throw up.
8.05 - Step on scale, see if needle is still at 'max'.
8.30 - Shower. Make sure not to slip in order to have an excuse not to work out for two weeks.

9.00 - Grab the two towels you need to dry your huge ass off.
9.30 - Get your jumpsuite and go to the gym.

10.00 - Survey the women. Find the hottest one in the gym and approach.
10.05 - Say "hey there, my name is Dave, and I am chronically obese. Can you help me get on a workout regime?".
10.06 - If she says sure, follow her instructions. If she tells you to screw off, take out your anger on a punching bag.

12.00 - By now you must be sweaty and starving. You're in luck, I'm going to let you leave the gym!
12.30 - Go to the shadiest part of town. Find a group of brothaz and try your tout routine on them.
12.35 - By now you should be running for your life. This is the best cardio you will get all day. If they don't catch you, great. If they do, maybe they can pound some fat out of you.

1.00 - Go home, relax. A normal person by now would be panicking since he forgot to call work to say he wouldn't be coming in. But you are an unemployed degenerate who thinks he can make his living flipping an unfair coin.

2.00 - Look in mirror for an hour, tell yourself you will lose weight and will look like Quebbler in no time. Do some jumping jacks. Look at those phuckin titties bounce!

3.00 - Go online, look at American health expenditures related to obesity. What a huge number. Blame yourself for all of this.

4.00 - Step on your remote. You will be changing channels on your TV manually now. If you have satellite, loosen the screws on your dish so you have to climb out there to re-align it every 10 minutes.

5.00 - Read a book on the mathematics of sports betting. Try to come to the understanding that you are a loser gambler and will need to get a real job soon.

6.00 - Take a box and unfold it. Write on the remaining piece of cardboard: "Starving. Please help." Go out to busy street corner and sit there. Make sure you wear that retarded headset. This should be the easiest part of your routine since by now your self-confidence should be totally shot.

8.00 - Take out quarter. Practice flipping coins. Record results. You will notice that after 1000 flips, there are more of either heads or tails. Frantically search the internet to see if there is a betting market for coin flipping. Post your picks with write-ups. Ignore any threads that include the words "probability", "variance", etc.

10.00 - Get ready for bed. Put on your Winnie the Pooh pyjamas, brush teeth, and read a fairy tale about the pudgy kid who once beat the Bookmaker. Fall asleep and dream of a world where lines aren't efficient estimators of game outcomes.

Repeat

Isn't that Vegas Dave

[Chi_archie]

Mathy posted that for dave

[13th Inning]

Archie is posting the daily schedules of ALL posters on SBR, and eventually will get to Mathy in due time.
Need to be patient, guy is a savant.

On a related note, that JJGold one from above is f'king scary as hell. Forgot about that one. But good job outta him. Shifting paradigms and whatnot.

[ChuckyTheGoat]

A real man wakes up in the morning, goes to bed at night, and does what he wants during the day.

I agree w/ this. We all get there someday.