[stevek173]

Now I do like to laugh and mess around and I probably post some of the more ridiculous stuff around here but for once I have a serious matter here that I would like some input on, because I know my opinions on it and they may or may not be necessarily right.

You know the guy. your girlfriend's good friend. Not gay. Not in a relationship. Always seems to be that kind listening ear when you screw up a little bit (and let's face it we all do, at least a little bit). Your girl always says just a friend and never a threat of anything more. Next thing you know they, as in my case, are on the phone for 3 hours until midnight and she is walking in and out of the house, obviously so that you can't be in earshot not that you would spy anyway because you know you're good shit and if she can't dig it she can **** off. Then upon further conversation you find out much of the conversation is about you but wait he's that friend who is always there and supposedly like an older brother so nothing would ever happen between them.

Also you are somewhat established and you view this guy as....someone whose life ambitions are not conducive to long term success (Ok, a fokking loser).

Now in my perspective, from having been on both sides of the coin is that pretty much anyone of the opposite gender who is talking to your girl that much and who is not fully and I mean fully as in never coming back gay is looking for something. My real issue is that the second he takes the time to listen to her vent about you he has crossed the guy code line and he is 100% a piece of crap. The girls, I get it. I'm not perfect and I certainly can be an asshole sometimes so I want her to have people to vent to, but not some dirt bag who is trying to get in her pants. Then same dirt bag tells her to tell you what's up when you two have never met or spoken. Feels like a cocky move to me from a poor fokking loser.

Boys my prediction is that this weekend when partying commences I blow up and say some possibly regrettable things about and possibly to this moron.

Wanted to bounce it off some people before I do.

[William Walters]

Guy is trying to put his rooster in your girl.

[allabout the $$$]

he is trying to get in her pants. been there done that. never broken the man code even if i knew he was cheating i would never rat his ass out makes it that much better when i get in her pants because i know she fell for my game if you think this could be long term i would say something to her or him if you really couldnt care then just move on.

[ElCapitan]

If he's just listening to her vent about you and not commenting back criticizing you then perhaps there's no code violation.

I'd be more concerned about this whole "good friend" relationship, though. If this dude really isn't gay, you better believe that he'd be in your girl's snatch in a heartbeat if the opportunity presented itself.

[Dutch]

Do something that makes him look weak or un-intelligent. The problem is you have to do it without making yourself look jealous or insecure.

When you're introduced to him, say "I've heard a lot about you dude." But say it like you're trying not to laugh. Say it like there's an inside joke about him. Then smile, shake your head and walk away.

It'll fuk with his confidence and he'll ask her about it, she'll say she can't imagine why you did it, but he won't believe her and it'll cause a riff in their friendship. After that, everytime you see him, make eye contact, and then look away with a sly grin, like you know his secrets. It'll cause him to resent her.

Bada boom bada bing. You ended their friendship without ever making a scene or making yourself look insecure.

[Ra77er]

Your girl is a player, time to move on. I'll await chapter 2 on Sunday evening/Monday morning.

[CrazyCarl]

Always seems to be that kind listening ear when you screw up a little bit (and let's face it we all do, at least a little bit).

Stopped reading at this point. You shouldn't make stupid and wrong assumptions about me. You don't even know me. I bet you can't even guess my name, Mr. Wise Guy.

[konck]

Are you stupid 3 hours on the phone

[Blondie]

If he's just listening to her vent about you and not commenting back criticizing you then perhaps there's no code violation.

I'd be more concerned about this whole "good friend" relationship, though. If this dude really isn't gay, you better believe that he'd be in your girl's snatch in a heartbeat if the opportunity presented itself.

But that doesn't mean she would let him or either of them actually have the desire to. I have had guy friends and even a best friend that was a guy. Would never have done anything with him we were like siblings. We had been friends since the 8th grade and never, not even once, did the thought even cross my mind that he would be anything more than a friend.

It could very possibly be a situation like this. If you really think there is a chance at a future with her, don't ruin it by going after her friend. That is the surest way to lose her.

[Dom177]

Doubt its a situation like that blondie....guys don't become friends with girls for no reason anymore.

[Ra77er]

But that doesn't mean she would let him or either of them actually have the desire to. I have had guy friends and even a best friend that was a guy. Would never have done anything with him we were like siblings. We had been friends since the 8th grade and never, not even once, did the thought even cross my mind that he would be anything more than a friend.

It could very possibly be a situation like this. If you really think there is a chance at a future with her, don't ruin it by going after her friend. That is the surest way to lose her.

The key is you HAD guy friends...I'd assume you probably don't still talk to them 24/7 etc. I'd assume your hubby wouldn't like it and you have little ones to tend now and other responsibilites. I'm not talking about a poke on facebook but calling them anytime you have a crisis. My wife had a bunch of guy friends as well but what girls never seem to understand is guys (that are straight) typically only want to bang you even if your just "friends" for years. Guys will be the bestest friends in the whole world if they can get one opportunity to get laid. If Steve cares about this girl and she does him...she will CHILL with the "friend" guy if she really respects him.

[Ra77er]

Read some of JJ's posts if you need further confirmation.

[milwaukee mike]

the girl almost always sees the guy as a friend
the guy almost always sees the girl as someone he wants to (at the very least) make out with

while she's talking about you he's 10% listening and 90% thinking about kissing her and more

[Ra77er]

Unless this whole story is bullshit attention thread that steve dreamt up last night while snuggling in his pj's.....then I feel like a humongous jackass.

[Blondie]

The key is you HAD guy friends...I'd assume you probably don't still talk to them 24/7 etc. I'd assume your hubby wouldn't like it and you have little ones to tend now and other responsibilites. I'm not talking about a poke on facebook but calling them anytime you have a crisis. My wife had a bunch of guy friends as well but what girls never seem to understand is guys (that are straight) typically only want to bang you even if your just "friends" for years. Guys will be the bestest friends in the whole world if they can get one opportunity to get laid. If Steve cares about this girl and she does him...she will CHILL with the "friend" guy if she really respects him.

Actually we had a falling out completely unrelated to anything my husband was a part of. After that we didn't speak for a long time, however, we did end up beginning to speak again. In fact, my husband and I will probably see him when we come out to Vegas for the bash as he is living out there now.

We have went on vacations together and for the longest time were basically inseperable. IMO give it time, eventually their friendship will fade as they progress through life. Many friends outgrow each other and go their seperate ways, forcing her (even if not directly) to make a choice will more than likely lead to losing her.

and ftr I still have guy friends that I talk to on a regular basis and there are no issues with it. But they are just friends...

[actiondan]

Just beat his ass and be done with it.

[Ra77er]

Actually we had a falling out completely unrelated to anything my husband was a part of. After that we didn't speak for a long time, however, we did end up beginning to speak again. In fact, my husband and I will probably see him when we come out to Vegas for the bash as he is living out there now.

We have went on vacations together and for the longest time were basically inseperable. IMO give it time, eventually their friendship will fade as they progress through life. Many friends outgrow each other and go their seperate ways, forcing her (even if not directly) to make a choice will more than likely lead to losing her.

and ftr I still have guy friends that I talk to on a regular basis and there are no issues with it. But they are just friends...

The eighth grade friend was legit I'm sure. I was speaking more about 20 something friend relationships with dudes. Didn't mean grade school chums.

[Blondie]

The eighth grade friend was legit I'm sure. I was speaking more about 20 something friend relationships with dudes. Didn't mean grade school chums.

We were best friends long after my youngest son was born. Perhaps find something you can do with other couples that might help her forge new female friends which would make her depend less on him to listen.

Another thing to consider: Has she "hung out with the guys" most of her life? I grew up hanging around with my counsins a lot as a kid (three boys) so I was use to playing ball etc with the boys and didn't care for the girlie drama.

Looking back and finding more out about her past may help you to know whether this is just a friend thing or more so...

[stevek173]

Lol no BS Razz this is actually serious.

And see I am always cool with poking on fb, some texts here and there or whatever, I'm pretty secure in our relationship for many reasons I won't go into. Hell three hours wouldn't even faze me it's the out of earshot because it's venting about me shit I can't dig on. If we were just dating or didn't live together sure but we are serious and we do live together.

I appreciate everyone's insight and I do think my original thought process was correct except I can't make it about him that is the bad call and makes me seem like I'm someone I'm not it's all good the right move will come to me when the time is right.

"Another thing to consider: Has she "hung out with the guys" most of her life? I grew up hanging around with my counsins a lot as a kid (three boys) so I was use to playing ball etc with the boys and didn't care for the girlie drama.

Looking back and finding more out about her past may help you to know whether this is just a friend thing or more so..."

:

[Ra77er]

Maybe but why should he have to go back and do that? Girls make shit so complicated....your allowed to have Steve but turn to someone else for emotional support (3 hour conversations????). Stevie needs to find a girl - friend asap and when they get together just start texting this "other" girl. Maybe take a picture of his junk and upload it...right in front of her. Then just cool as a cat say "we've been friends since 11th grade"

[Ra77er]

Lol no BS Razz this is actually serious.

And see I am always cool with poking on fb, some texts here and there or whatever, I'm pretty secure in our relationship for many reasons I won't go into. Hell three hours wouldn't even faze me it's the out of earshot because it's venting about me shit I can't dig on. If we were just dating or didn't live together sure but we are serious and we do live together.

I appreciate everyone's insight and I do think my original thought process was correct except I can't make it about him that is the bad call and makes me seem like I'm someone I'm not it's all good the right move will come to me when the time is right.

"Another thing to consider: Has she "hung out with the guys" most of her life? I grew up hanging around with my counsins a lot as a kid (three boys) so I was use to playing ball etc with the boys and didn't care for the girlie drama.

Looking back and finding more out about her past may help you to know whether this is just a friend thing or more so..."

:

On a serious note...like MM said...she might legit think of him as a friend but if she cares about you then just talk to her about it like a man. Tell her its bothering you and it makes you a bit uncomfortable. She how she reacts and then report that back here.

[Allure]

Try to trap him. If you go to your girl and tell her that you think he tries to get in her pants, your girl will be mad at you and that creepy fukk wins.

So try to trap him so your girl sees what he really wants from her. Maybe she's really just a friend in his eyes, but I doubt that, to be honest. A man and a girl can't be just "good friends" imo.

Whatever you decide to do, don't beat the shit out of him - I did, didn't help.

[HotStreak]

The problem is your girl. This situation is very disrespectful. Stand up for yourself.

[face]

stab him in the eye

[baskets]

more high school bullshit

women ride the dick that they want to ride


end of story.