[baskets]

I've been married for 5 years now and, on many fronts, things aren't going so well with my wife. When we were dating, we used to have lots of sex, but things changed when we got married. I started to get a lot of the "I'm tired" or "is that all you think of" excuse. Over the last few years I've gotten to a point of not bothering with initiating because 99% of the times I'd get rejected. Only from time to time, especially when she wants it then I get it. I call these "sympathy phucks". We're still fairly young in our 30s and do not have kids yet. Right now, we last had sex a almost 2 months ago.

In addition to the sex issue, my wife basically wants to dominate me and any complaint about anything is met with a very swift and stinging response! I just think there's complete disrespect for me because the talk back is laced with contempt, and, if I was weak emotionally, I would've have been violent with her a long time ago.
Guys, how does one explain a wife getting in the kitchen and making herself
food and not bother with making something for the husband? What kind of bull crap is that? I'm really angry about this stuff.

When we have fights, and she feels I've wronged her, she will give me the silent treatment that can extend to 3 weeks.
Things came to a head last week when I just felt I couldn't take it anymore and I basically "reported" her to her mother - the only person she will listen to. She had been ignoring me in the house for 2 weeks, but she's happy posting messages on her wall on FB, mostly communicating with the other ladies she works with. She recently discovered FB and it has consumed every moment of her time.
In the last 3 weeks that she's been giving me the silent treatment, one night I tried to touch her, and, predictably, I was rejected and reminded that since we weren't talking, I should not even begin to think of touching her. Defeated, I just rolled over and faced the other side, praying that I'd sleep! I have tried to talk to her and she only changes for a week and then fall back into her crap of starving me.

My reporting her to mom was a last resort! In hindsight, I realize maybe I shouldn't have, but I just wanted the mother to know that if I get to pull the plug, it would be because of a long history of being unhappy. Her mom is pretty old school and believes a man should be the head of the house,etc and was embarrassed by what I told her. She promised to sort it out with her daughter. My wife didn't take this move kindly and basically told me I had committed the most cardinal sin, which she would not forgive. She even went as far as threatning me with going separate ways because I've embarrassed her by outing her to her mom.
She has since gone to visit her parents and hasn't even made any contact, but she posts messages on her FB wall, announcing how happy she is spending time with her mom and brothers. I reckon this is a strategy to further phuck me up mentally: to push me into a position of defeat and then solicit a response from me, like, "i'm sorry, I miss you, etc".
I haven't done so and I just think that this situation presents me with an opportunity to take control of my household, unless she's no longer prepared to stay married to me. So , I will not even call her mom to find out what the outcome of their discussion was. I also know that her mother will probably take her side once she starts outing my transgressions to her. So I'm not banking on that to yield any delicious fruit. They're very close and my wife acts like she's still unmarried and her family is all that matters. I'm made to feel like I'm second class citizen in her life, and she happily takes her mom's advice on anything, but my word does not command the same respect from her!

Guys, here's where the plot thickens. There are two separate females who've entered my orbit and they've made offers to visit my place. I know that they'll spend the night and sex will happen. I haven't had sex in almost 2 months and I'm vulnerable right now!The hunger has brought my willpower to it's knees and I'm teetering on the brink of cheating. I feel I've taken too much shyte from my wife and I have to be selfish and satisfy the justifiable physical need I have.

From a strategy perspective, what do you advise I do to get my wife to respect me again? I have started going to gym, because I had gained a lot of weight and got fat, whilst she lost weight and is looking hot. She's getting a lot of attention from her female friends on FB, commenting about how stunning she looks. She's really basking in it and spends most of her time posting on her wall or friends' walls. I complained about the time she spends online, on FB. She accused me of wanting to control her and lashed out at me. I made a mistake of losing my cool when I confronted her.

When she comes back, I want her to find me in full gear with my transformation and taking charge of my life. I want her to see that I'm beginning to live my life without the spectre of her being the centre of everything I do.
So what strategic mistakes have I made so far and what can I change to get my power back?

[baskets]

this is a lesson in the class of American Women 101.

[BIGDAY]

If you want to keep the relationship with her. Be honest and explain that this is not working and that you see your relationship seperating in the near future. Let her know that you want her in your life and you want to fix your relationship to the way you used to feel about eachother. Take a vacation.

If you don't want to keep the relationship, then simply tell her that you are moving out and that she will receive the divorce papers shortly. No questions. Get out before you start sh!t with anyone else.

GL

[BIGDAY]

Life is too short to be miserable for 10+years if you do not get this fixed. If she wants it the way it used to be, than she will understand.

[baskets]

American bitches don't understand nothing. This is one of the few arenas where I respect the A-rabs. They got their bitches on lockdown!!!

[dredmahawkus]

Life is too short to be miserable! at least you can get out now and you dont have to pay everything you have to kids for the next 20 years

[baskets]

btw, I'm copying and pasting the above post. this is just an educational video for American men

[MarlinsFan2212]

Cheating doesnt solve anything. Either man up and fix your marriage, or man up and walk away from it. If you cheat and your wife finds out, your going to end up with a Lorena Bobbitt clone for a wife, and find your dick somewhere in a field.

BOL to you

[WvGambler]

I'm not trying to be a dick and not.trying to kick a man when he's down but dude....you sound like a bitch.

Your wife is walking on you, because you let her. You want her to respect you so you told on her?!?
You reap what you sow. Good luck, but this ones over. Pull the plug and you'll both be better off.

Wv, out! Close thread.

[milwaukee mike]

over 50% of marriages end in divorce

out of the other 50%, i would bet that 90% of those men are unhappy

so what made you think you could beat the odds and be the 1 man out of 20 that is happily married?

[darkhat]

Cheating never seems to work out. Luckily for me I fear commitment, and also no women is dumb enough to every marry me.

[No coincidences]

I'm not trying to be a dick and not.trying to kick a man when he's down but dude....you sound like a bitch.

Your wife is walking on you, because you let her. You want her to respect you so you told on her?!?
You reap what you sow. Good luck, but this ones over. Pull the plug and you'll both be better off.

Wv, out! Close thread.

Sharp post WV.

Have you tried anything creative? Romantic dinners? Back rubs? Foot massages?

"You reap what you sow." Exactly. WV gets it. I'm not saying your wife is blameless, but dude, grow a sack and put in the legwork. Marriage does not = cruise control.

[mathdotcom]

Other posters here don't have a clue.

Your wife is being a huge oyster and this has been going on for so long that you've come to posting about it on a sports fukking gambling forum. Think about that.

Invite the girls over. Are you crazy?? If you don't get caught you can smirk and be in a good mood when your wife comes back. If you do get caught then so what? Your marriage looks done unless something big changes.

Although one other poster was right, you cannot get out of this by trying to please her more by 'transforming'. In this regard she is walking all over you. The best way to fight back is to show her, or pretend to, that you don't need her and can be happy without her. This is the classic reverse psychology shit that works on women because they're wired backwards. If you chase them they aren't interested, but if you seem aloof they want you. The first step to being independent and not needing her is by ******* other women.

serious post

[No coincidences]

The best way to fight back is to show her, or pretend to, that you don't need her and can be happy without her. This is the classic reverse psychology shit that works on women because they're wired backwards. If you chase them they aren't interested, but if you seem aloof they want you. The first step to being independent and not needing her is by ******* other women.

serious post

Wow.

This guy's married. Whether he's mature enough to handle it or not, it is what it is. He's not an 18-year-old college freshman, which is where your advice would be more applicable. You don't resolve problems in a marriage by playing hard to get (which, obviously by his post, isn't going to work), pretending to be happy without her (news flash: she won't care or even notice) and attempting to f\*\*k other women. Good god.

The guy either needs to put in the work or get divorced. Working the immature angles you're suggesting is a recipe for disaster. He's just lucky there aren't kids involved.

[ebbearsfb1]

I agree with coin and wvu... man up ... she probably treats you like shit cause you do the same... like they said maybe take her to dinner... cook dinner for her.. who said she cooks for you? Cheating never ends well.. man up... bring that spark back in each others lives... maybe stop spending so much time on sbr for starters

[No coincidences]

I agree with coin and wvu... man up ... she probably treats you like shit cause you do the same... like they said maybe take her to dinner... cook dinner for her.. who said she cooks for you? Cheating never ends well.. man up... bring that spark back in each others lives... maybe stop spending so much time on sbr for starters

It's not just that -- being desperate half the time and apathetic the other isn't going to win anyone over.

Sounds like he isn't treating her like shit -- he's just not taking care of his marriage. If he rolls up his sleeves and she doesn't react or respond, then it's probably time to call it quits.

[King Mayan]

great thread for degenerate shut-in gamblers.

[ebbearsfb1]

And judgin by the other posts I've seen by you on this forum you sound immature, white and racist.. maybe look in the mirror first. Good luck

[ebbearsfb1]

great thread for degenarate shut-in gamblers.

Sounds like it... sbr is home of the most miserable people on earth... that don't talk to anyone else unless they are on sbr... sbr home of the angry man that's not getting any

[flyingillini]

Pecos is this you?

[mathdotcom]

Wow.

This guy's married. Whether he's mature enough to handle it or not, it is what it is. He's not an 18-year-old college freshman, which is where your advice would be more applicable. You don't resolve problems in a marriage by playing hard to get (which, obviously by his post, isn't going to work), pretending to be happy without her (news flash: she won't care or even notice) and attempting to f\*\*k other women. Good god.

The guy either needs to put in the work or get divorced. Working the immature angles you're suggesting is a recipe for disaster. He's just lucky there aren't kids involved.

Women are women. Doesn't matter if this is freshman college year or not. Women are all this way.

You idiot fukking americans think marriage is some sacred thing. No, they are just boyfriend and girlfriend but signed a couple of papers and spent a lot of money getting dressed up one day. The same rules apply. There are no kids so whether the divorce happens because he sits her down at Starbucks or whether she walks in on him banging a broad on the kitchen table makes no difference.

It's not 'playing hard to get'. It's just doing the opposite of being a needy little puppy.

[jetsjets1028]

lets go bruins today at td garden!!! saw 9-0 win thursday hopefully get win tonight as they should be upset bout saturdays loss

[WvGambler]

And judgin by the other posts I've seen by you on this forum you sound immature, white and racist.. maybe look in the mirror first. Good luck

He's Chinese and she's an American woman of course she's not satisfied. (I'm half kidding)

[jmush]

a wife that doesn't talk to you? sounds perfect to me

[ebbearsfb1]

He's Chinese and she's an American woman of course she's not satisfied. (I'm half kidding)

Haha that's the problem with most of these guys... why would she wanna do it when you can't lay the hammer down? Wvu you ain't kidding my friend... hahah I guess. that's why me and my lady are happy I got it on lock... sharp post wvu... sbr posters continue to look dumb maybe stop sports betting and learn how to plow

[NHL Pro Capper]

Dear Baskets: I came out of the woodwork, and decided to post again because I feel for you, and I will give you real advice. All these posts by these idiots saying you did something wrong is insane and bul.lsh.it.

First off, i am sick of when i woman cheats, she gets a free pass, cause you didnt cater to her emotions, but when a man does it, your a scumbag. Like we don't have goddamn emotions too?! I am going to say don't cheat. Not because you don't deserve sex like any other man, it's because if you are caught, you are screwed and she will get everything.

I have been married for 5 years exactly too, and I have many friends in the same position, and I also went thru this with an ex fiancee.

LISTEN TO ME.

The problem is her selfishness, and your inability to step up and stop this madness.

When everything was all good BEFORE marriage, it's because that's what women do to lock up the security. Bla bla bla when it all comes down to it SECURITY, a house, money, is the number 1 priority in looking for a man when women get married, not because your her soul mate. Women will choose security over soul mate for life 99% of the time.

What happened is after she got bored, and did the "me" thing on her wedding day, and got to play house, she is bored. She lost weight for HER, not to please you. She is flaunting herself like a whore because she is ALREADY CHEATING. NO WIFE or women that LOVES YOU would IGNORE you for weeks, or treat you like garbage and IGNORE your feelings and NEEDS AS A HUSBAND. If you COMPLETELY DISRESPECTS you like this, then she is more than willing to cheat. You are NOT getting sex not because she is mad at you, or you gained weight, its because she is sleeping with someone else. All she is doing now is deciding wheather to keep you and the house and play with her boyfriends, or leave you and have to find a way to take care of herself. WOMEN have needs too, especially women near their 30s, their sex drive is like ours at 15, THEY NEED IT and want it. And if she won't sleep with you because of this childish bs, it's obvious she is sleeping with someone else.

HERE IS WHAT YOU DO:

1. Install keylogger/internet password tracker on your computer.
2. Obtain her email and facebook passwords
3. Read all her facebooks msgs, emails, etc..
4. Try to get a look at her phone, if she constantly deletes recent msgs, BAMN obvious cheating THERE IS NO OTHER REASON TOO
5. Once you find the evidence she is CHEATING, DO NOT CONFRONT HER, get a lawyer, build your case, and quietly secure your finances, get the house in your parents name, move your bank account cash safely, etc...
6. Once everything is secure, tell her in the living room, but set up a hidden camera to record the audio and video
7. Confront her about the cheating and evidence, where she cant deny, then she will admit everything on camera, but when she tries to lie later to lawyers and judge BAMN you have video evidence
8. Kick her ass out
9. Go to the gym, work out hard, get confidence back
10. Live your life, dont ever marry again

IT IS SO IMPORTANT YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Do NOT do anything stupid like make her dinner, rub her feet, tell her your sorry. SHE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE DOING ALL THIS. Just because you went to her mom for help, that should show her you care and want to make it work, she just used it as another tool to manipulate her. SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. NO WOMEN THAT DOES THIS TO HER HUSBAND LOVES HIM.

WAKE UP. Secure the evidence, and move on with your life. If you continue to make excuses for her, and let her run your life, and beat you down into nothing, then maybe everyone here is right. But I think you are just a loving man, that wants his wife to love him, and you want to be loved and you don't understand why she is starving you of this. No wife that loves her husband would ignore him, guilt trip him, spend all her time online flaunting herself to others, and I promise you, the lack of physical attention is because she is cheating. Wake up buddy. Do my 10 steps. Good luck

[GUMMO77]

This is your side of the story.

She seems happy without you.

You must be bad in bed.

She has a career and outside friends (which I assume you don't since you're posting marriage questions on a gamble board).

You wish that American women had no real thoughts or rights of their own.

You are in a doomed marriage.

[flyingillini]

Just leave the hyna, plain and simple.

[darrell74]

Thanks for letting my empty, shallow, single, meaningless lifestyle seem so awesome.

[sickler]

Baskets, is this why you've been a miserable prick on the forum.....things going bad at home so why not lash out on the internet?

Your marriage is shot. Sexless, she makes meals for herself but not for you

Find someone else

[jjgold]

I've been married for 5 years now and, on many fronts, things aren't going so well with my wife. When we were dating, we used to have lots of sex, but things changed when we got married. I started to get a lot of the "I'm tired" or "is that all you think of" excuse. Over the last few years I've gotten to a point of not bothering with initiating because 99% of the times I'd get rejected. Only from time to time, especially when she wants it then I get it. I call these "sympathy phucks". We're still fairly young in our 30s and do not have kids yet. Right now, we last had sex a almost 2 months ago.

In addition to the sex issue, my wife basically wants to dominate me and any complaint about anything is met with a very swift and stinging response! I just think there's complete disrespect for me because the talk back is laced with contempt, and, if I was weak emotionally, I would've have been violent with her a long time ago.
Guys, how does one explain a wife getting in the kitchen and making herself
food and not bother with making something for the husband? What kind of bull crap is that? I'm really angry about this stuff.

When we have fights, and she feels I've wronged her, she will give me the silent treatment that can extend to 3 weeks.
Things came to a head last week when I just felt I couldn't take it anymore and I basically "reported" her to her mother - the only person she will listen to. She had been ignoring me in the house for 2 weeks, but she's happy posting messages on her wall on FB, mostly communicating with the other ladies she works with. She recently discovered FB and it has consumed every moment of her time.
In the last 3 weeks that she's been giving me the silent treatment, one night I tried to touch her, and, predictably, I was rejected and reminded that since we weren't talking, I should not even begin to think of touching her. Defeated, I just rolled over and faced the other side, praying that I'd sleep! I have tried to talk to her and she only changes for a week and then fall back into her crap of starving me.

My reporting her to mom was a last resort! In hindsight, I realize maybe I shouldn't have, but I just wanted the mother to know that if I get to pull the plug, it would be because of a long history of being unhappy. Her mom is pretty old school and believes a man should be the head of the house,etc and was embarrassed by what I told her. She promised to sort it out with her daughter. My wife didn't take this move kindly and basically told me I had committed the most cardinal sin, which she would not forgive. She even went as far as threatning me with going separate ways because I've embarrassed her by outing her to her mom.
She has since gone to visit her parents and hasn't even made any contact, but she posts messages on her FB wall, announcing how happy she is spending time with her mom and brothers. I reckon this is a strategy to further phuck me up mentally: to push me into a position of defeat and then solicit a response from me, like, "i'm sorry, I miss you, etc".
I haven't done so and I just think that this situation presents me with an opportunity to take control of my household, unless she's no longer prepared to stay married to me. So , I will not even call her mom to find out what the outcome of their discussion was. I also know that her mother will probably take her side once she starts outing my transgressions to her. So I'm not banking on that to yield any delicious fruit. They're very close and my wife acts like she's still unmarried and her family is all that matters. I'm made to feel like I'm second class citizen in her life, and she happily takes her mom's advice on anything, but my word does not command the same respect from her!

Guys, here's where the plot thickens. There are two separate females who've entered my orbit and they've made offers to visit my place. I know that they'll spend the night and sex will happen. I haven't had sex in almost 2 months and I'm vulnerable right now!The hunger has brought my willpower to it's knees and I'm teetering on the brink of cheating. I feel I've taken too much shyte from my wife and I have to be selfish and satisfy the justifiable physical need I have.

From a strategy perspective, what do you advise I do to get my wife to respect me again? I have started going to gym, because I had gained a lot of weight and got fat, whilst she lost weight and is looking hot. She's getting a lot of attention from her female friends on FB, commenting about how stunning she looks. She's really basking in it and spends most of her time posting on her wall or friends' walls. I complained about the time she spends online, on FB. She accused me of wanting to control her and lashed out at me. I made a mistake of losing my cool when I confronted her.

When she comes back, I want her to find me in full gear with my transformation and taking charge of my life. I want her to see that I'm beginning to live my life without the spectre of her being the centre of everything I do.
So what strategic mistakes have I made so far and what can I change to get my power back?

Seem like you married a fukkin loser, get fukkin rid of her or end up fukkin miserable the rest of your fukkin life

grow some fukkin balls and leave today, fuk her

Too young to have all these fukkin problems, your the fukkin boss man

I already told Shari I am the fukkin boss if she ever comes to NJ and she shut up, she will listen to me and obey me, I will fuk her 3x per week at 9:00PM EST and if she wants more I am in

Baskets common man

[ebbearsfb1]

You won't make any girls happy with your small rooster and bad attitude. Those 2 females will be out in a flash

[William Walters]

Buy a penis extender........pronto.

[jjgold]

You won't make any girls happy with your small rooster and bad attitude. Those 2 females will be out in a flash

Who you talking to??????????????????????????????

It better not be me

[ebbearsfb1]

No jj.. I'm talking to basket... but jj share bear won't get with in 3000 miles of you anyway.. make a video giving this prick advice