Originally posted on 06/27/2011:

Hello boys,

Just want to introduce myself. The name is Tig O Bitties, but you can call me Tig-O. I’ve been lurking for a while and finally made the plunge to join today. I had a life changing experience today and I’m not sure who to go to to tell this story to, so I decided to turn to all of you. If I tell my wife she will kill me and I cannot afford a therapiss, so I have decided to share with you to get some piece of mind and cumfart. I’m hoping I can start a family here at SBR.


Anyways today I made some extra tip money from my job at Red Lobster so I decided to be a big shot and take the train home instead of the bus. Whenever I take public transportation I am always on the prowl for hot chicks, boys. Take notes. It’s a hidden gold mine boys. I like to stare at their legs, chest, anything. I am constantly checking girls out. I stand over those who are sitting to see if I can look down their shirts. I pray for hot days so girls dont wear brassiers, and maybe I can see a nipple. That is like hitting the lottery boys, it is so rare! If they are sitting on the bus I sit across them to see if I can see up their skirts. I think I have a problem boys. When they walk up the stairs, I walk very slowly so that when they get to the top, I can look up. Boys I need some kind of sexy therapy.


So I get off the train and do my usual slow walking routine. All I see is old ladies and black girls so I am not a happy camper. I walk home with a frown on my face until low and behold I see the perfect girl, boys. She was so cute boys, 5 feet tall, 100 pounds. Light brown hair, blue eyes, small but perky boobs and a good sized bum for someone her size. She was also
carrying a box of dominos pizza and I love dominos, so that gained major points. She was perfect, the spinner type. I definitely prefer spinners so that my weiner looks bigger in their hands and mouth. The spinner girls usually they cannot tell if you have a small pecker, boys. I feel like a giant among them, it is great.


I was mesmerized boys. I started walking behind her just to try to see her face. But more and more my eyes kept shifting down towards her pants. Boys I nearly walked onto oncoming traffic and that woulda been the end
of Tig O Bitties. The more I walked, the more this feeling came over me. I had
to talk to this girl. I have not had a feeling like this since I was 5 and I
accidentally rubbed my pecker against the floor. It was incredible.


I started speed walking to catch up to her. I was within feet of her now and my heart was racing. I didn’t even know what to say boys. Then this feeling came over me and I got an air of confidence. I reached out my
hand and gave her a squeeze on the ass, and said “Shalom”. The girl turned around IMMEDIATELY and yelled “get off me motherfukker!” Holy shi.t boys I have never seen something move so fast. Boys I do not even finish
sexy time with my wife that fast.

My confidence quickly evaporated and my first thought was to run. I ran into the closest alleyway that led to the next street over. And to my amazement, this fukking girl was chasing me! Whats even more amazing was that she still managed to hold onto the pizza. Boys this girl was incredible I tell you. Boys I thought I was going to throw up, I was so scared. She yelled again “MOTHHERRRRFUKKKEEERRRRR!” like a gladiator preparing for battle.

I took a quick left, and then a quick right, trying to dodge this girl but I still heard her screams. Boys I have never been so scared, I’m afraid she will pop out of my laundry hamper and cut my pecker off. I cannot even get an erection now I am so terrified. If I tell my wife she will stop giving me allowance, I don’t know what to do boys. I was just trying to start
conversation and flirt. Help me out SBR.

Shalom,

Tig-O