DonkLand Road Show Punta Cana.... It's already gettin' off the chain.....

**Auto Donk** · 02-11-17, 08:20 PM

good luck with that.....

i just showed her this:

she said, rather sarcastically, "yah, I'm really getting turned on.... give me some of that!!!"

then, as we laughed, she said "honestly, I had no deal they made them that small. Holy Shit that's tiny!!!!!"

**Auto Donk** · 02-11-17, 08:22 PM

ps... what exactly are you "inviting" her neck to do??????

**DiggityDaggityDo** · 02-11-17, 08:39 PM

Originally posted by jjgold

Automan I would seduce your wife while you're at work

I basically would start a normal conversation with her and then on my iPhone wouid play porn where she only heard the audio

Next I will start asking her questions about her sex life and she looks very very unhappy, even though she's a beautiful woman I would make her feel insecure… I will use online like this

Clara you're getting old but I still think you're beautiful

I would then talk about my sex with hot girls and they all fell in love with my rooster

I would tell her the sexual sessions lasted for hours and hours

I would then ask her to show me one of her

, she will resist at first but I will say your husbands at work he will not be home for a long long time and stop being so shy

yeah after that I will ask her do you want a neck massage as you look very very nervous

I will then gradually take off her shirt spitting in her ear inviting her neck

I will tell her she's very beautiful and my rooster is very very hard like steel for her

I then will tell her you know what Clara I normally don't do this but I'll fuk you if you want

I will then get a scissor and ask her if I can cut her pants off

If she agrees and I will then rip off her pantiesand start teasing her with feathers

I will slowly take off my leather pants 

I will then get onto the couch and take my shirt off and hold her hand to the couch

I will tel her to take my underwear off and she will see my bulging rooster

I will then tell her that her pussy looks like it has not been licked in a long long time and I will do it for

After that she will see my bulging rooster and start sucking it

I will then put her over the couch and nail her into pleasure

Then will give her my cell number and say anytime you want to be pleased I'm available

JJ you only want to see ONE of Clara's

?

Why just one? Why not both?

The scissor move is not baf.

**Auto Donk** · 02-11-17, 08:45 PM

ps.... JJ, I just let my wife read your ymca spa/jelly watchers stories.......

her comments about you and your spa friends, including you probably have HIV to go with your tiny kahk, can best be summed up with:

after reading them, she said maybe that guy pokin' you in the eye in the steam room with his stiff rod is what got you so pissed off in that rant video where you're grabbin' your schshort....

**gauchojake** · 02-11-17, 08:49 PM

**jjgold** · 02-12-17, 06:52 AM

**Auto Donk** · 02-12-17, 06:52 PM

additional photo of first room, view of the HOT TUB.... wife sent me today.....

she didn't send any vids tho......

**RGG** · 02-12-17, 07:42 PM

That's not at the HR right? Somewhere else?

**firstclass** · 02-12-17, 07:58 PM

damm donk wheres all the pics

**Auto Donk** · 02-12-17, 08:01 PM

Originally posted by RGG

That's not at the HR right? Somewhere else?

correct.... blue beach p.c. luxury resort

**eidolon** · 02-12-17, 08:01 PM

Originally posted by Auto Donk

additional photo of first room, view of the HOT TUB.... wife sent me today.....

she didn't send any vids tho......

I thought you promised a sex video on the balcony one of those nights?

**Auto Donk** · 02-12-17, 08:03 PM

Originally posted by eidolon

I thought you promised a sex video on the balcony one of those nights?

i must have been drunk

**Smoke** · 02-12-17, 08:22 PM

Donkles how far would you let me go with your wife?

**Auto Donk** · 02-12-17, 08:23 PM

about az far as rickhas got with that skank in your avatar down at the methodone clinic......

**RGG** · 02-12-17, 09:06 PM

Originally posted by Auto Donk

correct.... blue beach p.c. luxury resort

Looks nice. I'm considering taking the GF down to PC later this year. Seems like a nice spot with the sportsbook at the HR.

**Auto Donk** · 02-13-17, 11:49 AM

**jjgold** · 02-13-17, 12:16 PM

Automan your a bully that as never been slapped

I heard guys were afraid of you at the bash also

NOT ME SON

**Auto Donk** · 02-13-17, 05:11 PM

JJ, my lad, you have nothing to fear, but fear itself.....

I come in peace.....

and large shot-glass quantities.....

**Smoke** · 02-13-17, 05:19 PM

Originally posted by Auto Donk

about az far as rickhas got with that skank in your avatar down at the methodone clinic......

Damn bro thought we were good

**Auto Donk** · 02-13-17, 05:24 PM

well, we could use that hamburger meat......

"IGNORANT PROPOSAL"...... one of phil hartman's best ever snl skits

**jjgold** · 02-13-17, 05:42 PM

Automan give me your sex breakdown

Break down

How many women
How many times fukked total

Me??

2 women ... 1 pregnant 🤰 only time I fukked her too, came in 11 seconds

Total fuks for me 11

Amount of years 32

**Auto Donk** · 02-13-17, 06:46 PM

i've got you by just a few, JJ.....

a few thousand

**jjgold** · 02-13-17, 06:59 PM

Lol

**firekillex** · 02-13-17, 07:13 PM

Originally posted by jjgold

Automan give me your sex breakdown

Break down

How many women
How many times fukked total

Me??

2 women ... 1 pregnant 擄 only time I fukked her too, came in 11 seconds

Total fuks for me 11

Amount of years 32

Came in 11 seconds.. legend

**jjgold** · 02-13-17, 07:38 PM

firefiller I was not joking

Some fat chick rode me and her power did it

**firekillex** · 02-13-17, 08:41 PM

Originally posted by jjgold

firefiller I was not joking

Some fat chick rode me and her power did it

i know youre not joking JJ thats why its hilarious
sure you jizzed and couldnt get her off you and she kept going until you were soft as a shrimp

whats your funniest sex story ?

**jjgold** · 02-13-17, 09:29 PM

Fire they are around if you search

Almost Sex with aunt a classic and true

**firekillex** · 02-13-17, 09:35 PM

Originally posted by jjgold

Fire they are around if you search

Almost Sex with aunt a classic and true

to lazy to search send me a link so i can have a good laugh tonight

that short promo with an aunt sounds great , youre one of a kind JJ if im ever around the area ill get a girl for you
itll be the ugly friend of the 2 but well get them some tequilas and get the job done

**PittsburghPlayer** · 02-14-17, 02:29 AM

Originally posted by Smoke

Damn bro thought we were good

Yeah, I am a little disappointed in Sir AutoDonkDude.

His not taking kindly to men wanting to sing songs and display their dongs to his wife
shows a total lack of commitment to this forum.

For the sake of Mrs AutoDonkDude,
all we can do is hope
that he gives this matter the consideration and attention that it deserves.

**Auto Donk** · 02-14-17, 07:19 AM

Originally posted by jjgold

firefiller I was not joking

Some fat chick rode me and her power did it

really fat chicks usually aren't very adept or agile in bed... they don't move alot... that's how they got so fat in the first place.....

so, let me get this straight, she slovenly climbs on top of you, positions her belly on yours (and yes, she's sitting straight up, but still uses both hands to pick her stomach and set it on yours)....

she then reaches up underneath that mess trying to find 1. your 2 1/2 "rock hard" chub, and 2. which roll is actually her vagina instead of a "false vagina" fat crease.....

as she's fiddling' around trying to get in in, which has the clock at almost thirty seconds already, you blast off into her hand like an 11-yr old lookin' at his first weathered playboy he found in a ditch somewhere.....

you start to shrink (as if that's really possible), and she realizes what happened, rolls her fat ass off of you, then jams her jizz covered hand into her box in an effort to get at least some kind of "sexually related" satisfaction out of the ordeal, and foolishy impregnates herself by fisting her vent with your skiz on her hand......

someone deviant might find that to be a scene that turns him on....... there's always on freak who will think anything is hot.....

**jjgold** · 02-14-17, 07:33 AM

Automan what is your plan today?

Time of Staples job???

**Auto Donk** · 02-14-17, 07:50 AM

buying a car with my wife this morning, big mediation in conroe this afternoon

bang wife a few times as it's valentine's day, you prick

**jjgold** · 02-14-17, 08:09 AM

Originally posted by Auto Donk

buying a car with my wife this morning, big mediation in conroe this afternoon

bang wife a few times as it's valentine's day, you prick

I am posting guy all day and NO PORN

Embarrassing for any guy to watch porn today, blinds get shut after dark and lights out\

Automan single guy home alone at night on Valentines DAY...NEIGHBORS START THINKING

**BiTeMe UsAdOj** · 02-14-17, 08:30 AM

Originally posted by jjgold

single guy home alone at night on Valentines DAY...NEIGHBORS START THINKING

No offense, jj... but no one is THINKING, they already know. Don't be surprised if your elderly granny neighbor yells to you (when you go to grab your mail) to remember to zap your tube sock for 20 seconds in the microwave before you 'celebrate' Valentine's Day later tonight. Even she feels bad for ya and wants to help...

**jjgold** · 02-14-17, 08:54 AM

90% here do not get laid today