German authorities have finally released an Amber Alert this morning for resident SBR professional poker player "Snip3r2006".
Snip3r2006 was last seen on or about September 20, 2016 (interestingly, the date the current SBR poker promo commenced), when several male friends of his saw him grab a set of keys and bolt from his raging all-male monthly apartment party in Hamburg, Germany, "X'd-up" and clad only in a micro-thong, reddish-brown scarf, and a glitter-covered pink cardboard party hat.....
Authorities and his bastion of limp-wristed friends first believed there was no foul play involved, and that he was making his usual run to the "Schweinestall" (English translation: "Pig Pen"), a local "leather bar" and alternative-lifestyle hook up joint, where Snip3r had been known to spend days -- even weeks -- being bottomed out by the leather chaps-clad aggressive types that frequent such joints.
However, his male friends began to worry around mid-October, when he had not resurfaced, and were of major concern because Snip3r was nowhere to be seen on the latest SBR Poker Promo Leaderboard.....
Authorities began to belive that something had to be amiss, as there is no way in hell this totally awesome scarf-wearing Super-Euro Poker Pro could not be destroying the promo, literally killing the masses of SBR "fish", as he disparagingly calls them at the SBR Poker tables, and not be sitting atop the SBR promo leaderboard. A true, actual "poker professional" should obviously be destroying the amateurs at SBR.
Also causing concerns about Snip3r's well-being was the fact that SBR resident scam artist bobby "Small b stiffin' scam eagle" waves hadn't been seen in or around his shanty located in Trenton, New Jersey for the past 2-3 weeks. Rather, Small b Waves' new european i.p. address revealed him to be somewhere in the Rhineland, sending out blanket emails -- much as he did when he worked with 18th Hole Sportsbook -- inquiring about Snip3r's whereabouts, for fear that he might be on the verge of being "stiffed" by Snip3r on the yearly leaderboard bet the two had.... Interpol put a GPS tracker on Waves, and although he too began to spend an inordinant amount of time at the Schweinestall, authorities believed he was mainly searching for Snip3r, and was not involved in Snip3r's disappearnce.
Further concern arose from the continued absence from the SBR Poker Room of known Snip3r "friends", that being IvanLoko, LSU4EVERANDEVER, Luisballa, and Alessedo, who have not been seen on any online poker site since February 2016.
Anyone with informatin should immediately call their local CIA office, FBI office, or the Interpol to help in the search for missing Poker Pro Snip3r2006.....