today would have been 3 years...
i remember the first time you came to see me..it wasnt the first time wed met...but the first time we thought it could be....the night before you arrived in town and we went out with your family from here...i got hammered....the next day we went to your cousins state championship game...it rained...you sat in the backseat on the way and i sat in the front....we had drinks at lunch...then waited in the rain to buy tickets...you complained how your new coat was going to be ruined because it was soaked lol....after the game we sat in the backseat together and chugged from a bottle of whiskey together.....we went out to eat for one of my friends birthdays after we got back....one guy there who you knew said "oh i hate that guy hes an asshole"....after that we went to your cousins house and watched a pacquiao fight...you were so bored lol....then i took you to a shithole dive bar...they took our picture and hung it on the wall...i was a wreck lol....and you drive me home and we fell asleep together....i know...im no romeo or prince charming.....the next night we had a big family dinner at your relatives house....and the next day before I had to go to work I stopped over to see you/check on you....you had just gotten out of the shower and were in your towel lathering yourself up with mositurizer when i opened the door....you tossed me a peanut butter cup as i walked out the door...
it had always seemed like destiny....you had always had a crush on me since you were a young girl...i thought the timing was finally right and you were finally mature enough that our 6 year age difference wouldnt matter....you were the first real love of my life...so beautiful and full of energy and life.....i still have some of the cards you gave me on birthdays/anniversaries...the notes you would leave me...i dont look at them but i remember some of the words...the plans we had.....and how sad it is that it wasnt meant to be no matter how much we both wanted it to be....
the brain needed somewhere to vent and this was it folks...sorry....hope i can get some sleep tonight