How dumb am I?

**Cuse0323** · 08-18-19, 02:16 AM

Originally posted by The Kraken

I get the OD thing.

I used to always be the first to try new blow in case it had Fentanyl in it. I could always tell, that feeling is unmistakable,
but no way in hell would I OD on it. Anyone else I ran with woulda died had they tried it before me, and we got blow more than once that had Fent mixed in.

Most pll just know what they read on yahoo, they dont know though.

Yep. Not much more to say than yep. I’m first to take the shot to make sure they know how safe to play it.

**Cuse0323** · 08-18-19, 02:23 AM

Sol, if it works for you, then that’s great. It truly is. That’s my dream is to just have one day or weekend of relaxation, and the rest I buckle down, and don’t need it. I appreciate you rooting for me as well. All the support here is great. When I’m going to buy booze, I think “damn, this is gonna disappoint SBR, especially $$$.” Then I make some excuse and do it anyway, but I’m gonna hit a point where the clouds clear, and things line up perfectly. I finish all my booze, then pass out and get a great nights sleep. Then bam, I just wake up, and go to work then live a normal life. It’ll happen. The stars will align.

**BrickJames** · 08-18-19, 04:22 AM

Originally posted by Sol Diablo

I'm blessed in the fact that I have will power. And I have looked addiction in the face and said penetrate you.

I love beer, love alcohol. I love being numb. Love the escape.

Drank too much for a stretch and had to look it square in the eye. Went through the whole I'm never gonna do this again phase. Etc.

But I'm lucky because Ive never been physically addicted to anything Ive loved. Through the years Ive come to a spot that works. Sober 5-6 days a week. Then splurge on the weekends. That in and of itself takes some discipline for someone who would love to be numb more often. But I would rather live life like that. Treat myself to some relaxing weekends. Remain disciplined. Keep it under control.

Every few months detox it all out for a couple weeks. Keep eating healthy. Keep working out.

Most that love to drink can't manage it like I have. So I'm lucky I guess.

A real weekend warrior!

You are the reason I won't go downtown on weekends.

In the strip club throwing your paycheck around like you're a boss.

Ordering 3 Coors lights at a time making it impossible for me to get a drink at the bar.

Posting memes about the "Sunday scaries".

**inmyownzone** · 08-18-19, 05:02 AM

Pm me cuse

**PittsburghPlayer** · 08-18-19, 10:22 AM

Cuse, PM me before you are up this way. You being isolated is currently what is killing you, as well as ... , like many.

you are strong, too many men demonize and dehumanize men that they do not understand, and good for them - they do not understand what it is like to get your ass handed to you by someone you should be able to trust

ftr, not going to pretend I have any answers, but I do have a push in the right direction
crack ballz
you can not tell us crack ballz will not ring your bell and is not a drug that will not kill you

but no one wants you dead and this is not 1994

**Cuse0323** · 08-18-19, 11:07 AM

Originally posted by PittsburghPlayer

Cuse, PM me before you are up this way. You being isolated is currently what is killing you, as well as ... , like many.

you are strong, too many men demonize and dehumanize men that they do not understand, and good for them - they do not understand what it is like to get your ass handed to you by someone you should be able to trust

ftr, not going to pretend I have any answers, but I do have a push in the right direction
crack ballz
you can not tell us crack ballz will not ring your bell and is not a drug that will not kill you

but no one wants you dead and this is not 1994

I’ll definitely PM you when I’m coming up. The isolation is killing me, that’s why I’m hanging with these people I met. They’re all actually legit, except the chick who fcked me over. Hate to say it, but I smoked crack for the first time ever last night. It was just like an ash hit and nothing really in it, so all good. The little rush I got was alright. I may buy myself a rock when I get paid just to really try it. Fck it.

**jtoler** · 08-18-19, 11:13 AM

Originally posted by Cuse0323

I’ll definitely PM you when I’m coming up. The isolation is killing me, that’s why I’m hanging with these people I met. They’re all actually legit, except the chick who fcked me over. Hate to say it, but I smoked crack for the first time ever last night. It was just like an ash hit and nothing really in it, so all good. The little rush I got was alright. I may buy myself a rock when I get paid just to really try it. Fck it.

chill out bro u know that is c is wack. here is what we have coming up buckle sit back and pass the time watching football.

2019 Syracuse Football Schedule

Date Opponent Time TV/Comments

Saturday, August 31st at Liberty 6:00 pm ESPN+

Saturday, September 7th at Maryland noon ESPN or ESPN2

Saturday, September 14th CLEMSON 7:30 pm ABC, probable College Game Day

Saturday, September 21st WESTERN MICHIGAN

Saturday, September 28th HOLY CROSS

Saturday, October 5th BYE 1

Thursday, October 10th at NC State 8:00 pm ESPN

Friday, October 18th PITTSBURGH 7:00 pm ESPN

Saturday, October 26th at Florida State

Saturday, November 2nd BOSTON COLLEGE

Saturday, November 9th BYE 2

Saturday, November 16th at Duke

Saturday, November 23th at Louisville

Saturday, November 30th WAKE FOREST

**gauchojake** · 08-18-19, 11:38 AM

The elevator only goes down pal. It's up to you when you want to get off.

**inmyownzone** · 08-18-19, 11:41 AM

Originally posted by gauchojake

The elevator only goes down pal. It's up to you when you want to get off.

Deep Jake, deep.

**inmyownzone** · 08-18-19, 11:47 AM

Originally posted by jtoler

chill out bro u know that is c is wack. here is what we have coming up buckle sit back and pass the time watching football.

2019 Syracuse Football Schedule

Date Opponent Time TV/Comments

Saturday, August 31st at Liberty 6:00 pm ESPN+

Saturday, September 7th at Maryland noon ESPN or ESPN2

Saturday, September 14th CLEMSON 7:30 pm ABC, probable College Game Day

Saturday, September 21st WESTERN MICHIGAN

Saturday, September 28th HOLY CROSS

Saturday, October 5th BYE 1

Thursday, October 10th at NC State 8:00 pm ESPN

Friday, October 18th PITTSBURGH 7:00 pm ESPN

Saturday, October 26th at Florida State

Saturday, November 2nd BOSTON COLLEGE

Saturday, November 9th BYE 2

Saturday, November 16th at Duke

Saturday, November 23th at Louisville

Saturday, November 30th WAKE FOREST

What’s y’all season total number? If it’s low I might take the over I like this schedule for y’all.

**BigdaddyQH** · 08-18-19, 11:48 AM

Enough of this melodrama. Cuse, it is time for you to either crap or get off the pot. What a wuss. You asked for help. Everyone in here including myself has tried to give you help. You just carry on and on. Enough! We all have lives to live in here. If you cannot successfully live yours, you will get what you deserve.

**Cuse0323** · 08-18-19, 12:01 PM

Originally posted by BigdaddyQH

Enough of this melodrama. Cuse, it is time for you to either crap or get off the pot. What a wuss. You asked for help. Everyone in here including myself has tried to give you help. You just carry on and on. Enough! We all have lives to live in here. If you cannot successfully live yours, you will get what you deserve.

It’s simple. Don’t open the thread again. I’m venting my thoughts here.

**Cuse0323** · 08-18-19, 12:02 PM

Originally posted by inmyownzone

What’s y’all season total number? If it’s low I might take the over I like this schedule for y’all.

7.5 and we easily win 8.

**gauchojake** · 08-18-19, 12:03 PM

Originally posted by inmyownzone

Deep Jake, deep.

There's another good one that goes something like - if you find yourself in a hole, put down the shovel.

**BrickJames** · 08-18-19, 01:01 PM

How did your games go? Did you run it up?

**The Kraken** · 08-18-19, 01:18 PM

Originally posted by gauchojake

There's another good one that goes something like - if you find yourself in a hole, put down the shovel.

Yep, Layne Staley wrote a song about it. River of Deceit. Our pain is self-chosen and the river of deceit only flows down

**PittsburghPlayer** · 08-18-19, 03:26 PM

Judge, we are not going to do any crack, just a silly joke.

We didn't have no dope or LSD
But a coupla quartsa beer
Would fix it so the intonation
Would not offend yer ear

**Cuse0323** · 08-18-19, 06:01 PM

Originally posted by BrickJames

How did your games go? Did you run it up?

I let the fools I was with pick. Lost it all on the Phillies. First game mentioned was Seattle. Should have rolled with it.

**BrickJames** · 08-18-19, 06:55 PM

Originally posted by Cuse0323

I let the fools I was with pick. Lost it all on the Phillies. First game mentioned was Seattle. Should have rolled with it.

Should have faded them.

**pablo222** · 08-18-19, 08:38 PM

Cuse. Behave buddy. Think positive and do what you say you want to do. What are your.goals to live the life you say you want to have, and then make the right decions to lead you there. Be strong.

You say you are a tank. Be a tank in your resolve to change.

We all know it ain't easy but we are rooting for you.

**reigle9** · 08-18-19, 11:22 PM

f\*g

**Cuse0323** · 08-19-19, 01:00 AM

Originally posted by pablo222

Cuse. Behave buddy. Think positive and do what you say you want to do. What are your.goals to live the life you say you want to have, and then make the right decions to lead you there. Be strong.

You say you are a tank. Be a tank in your resolve to change.

We all know it ain't easy but we are rooting for you.

I think I just enjoy the dumbass lifestyle. I could easily end up in jail. I’m back chilling with the crew. Loneliness is a bitch sometimes, I guess. I’m gonna get this figured out though. I pissed all my money I had left away gambling, and more drugs. I have three checks left coming before Cuse, so I gotta save those. I can stay with friends for free, and like $144 for a rental car. I’ll have enough, just not enough to do everything I wanted for my girl, if she even is my girl. We shall see.

These people pretty damn boring anyway, and crack ain’t even that good. I’m all set with that. Just love benzos, but I have other options than getting them from them. And I’m making money getting rid of my subutex. Not NY prices, but oh well.

Main issue now is the drug test on Tuesday that could be a smorgasbord of drugs. I’ll be okay though. I can pass em with ease through just drinking water.

Thing is, I have no goals. I like booze, drugs, gambling, and hoes. No hobbies outside of that. My goal was to wife this girl up, have a kid, and move in together eventually after we figured out her situation with the twins. Now that’s probably out the window. Cutie at work that’s a sweetheart. Tempted to ask her if she wants to go on a date. Idk man, I’m all over the place.

I’m an idiot, no need to repeat it. I know it.

**reigle9** · 08-19-19, 02:27 AM

come make fun of vitty with me

**Cuse0323** · 08-20-19, 08:06 AM

Ahhhh the great horrible new stories I could tell. I’m even too embarrassed to do it. I crashed and slept through work, so hopefully I just have a job still and then everything else can fck off. Do not ever smoke crack. I get it now. Never understood why it was so hard to just not be a bum, and put the pipe down. And I hate stimulants.

**Cuse0323** · 08-20-19, 08:08 AM

I’m an embarrassment. I belong toothless on the street, begging for change to get a few Natty Daddy’s. Maybe I should just move to skid row. That’s where I belong. My mom has kept me going this long, and I deserve none of it.

**JAKEPEAVY21** · 08-20-19, 08:36 AM

**PittsburghPlayer** · 08-20-19, 08:55 AM

Jesus Christ, I was joking about crack.

Cuse, `bout to jump on bike for Lake Ontario, had not intended to sign in here for awhile until I read the above...

Offer stands, you need a place to detox without going to detox, I`m here.

**jts1207** · 08-20-19, 09:00 AM

Its all over if youre on the crack.

**JAKEPEAVY21** · 08-20-19, 09:02 AM

cuser, I don't think you can do this by yourself, get help from someone, anyone...

you are a smart guy but the addiction is too strong...Godspeed

**jts1207** · 08-20-19, 09:06 AM

On crack guy will be selling his computer and phone within a week. Get help guy.

**allabout the $$$** · 08-20-19, 09:26 AM

What's next bro you gonna start sucking dick for a rock?

**Cuse0323** · 08-20-19, 09:38 AM

Originally posted by JAKEPEAVY21

cuser, I don't think you can do this by yourself, get help from someone, anyone...

you are a smart guy but the addiction is too strong...Godspeed

I’m guessing my doctor today will force me into rehab. But, I can’t go because my dog, which I almost killed. That is what I needed to stop. I don’t know how he’s alive. I almost killed the thing I love the most. Even if my mom comes back early the house needs to be cleaned so she doesn’t murder me. Doc will have the answers for me today. I hope it just says coke in general on the test, and not crack. I can explain some coke, heroin, and Xanax. Who am I kidding? No, I can’t.

**Cuse0323** · 08-20-19, 09:41 AM

Originally posted by allabout the $$$

What's next bro you gonna start sucking dick for a rock?

Nah. I can only do it with benzos or I’d freak out. It scares me. I’m done with it. Yeah, I’ve been saying that about everything. But, I’m not hanging out with these hustlers anymore. I’m fine without the money since my dog is alive, and I didn’t crash my Mom’s car or something. Or jail. Could be so much worse. I’ll work it out with my doctor and come up with a plan. AA oriented of course.

**allabout the $$$** · 08-20-19, 09:42 AM

It could be worse? Only way it's worse is if you're dead.

**Cuse0323** · 08-20-19, 09:42 AM

Originally posted by jts1207

On crack guy will be selling his computer and phone within a week. Get help guy.

Pawned the engagement ring I bought for $75. But, it has a major flaw in it or else it would be $1500. My luck. I went to multiple places and they all saw it. Such a nice ring but that damn flaw. May just leave it there.