Tell a joke, win some betpoints!

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  • edawg
    SBR MVP
    • 07-09-11
    • 2820

    #36
    All of the other reindeer were asking Santa "Why does Rudolph always get to be in front?" Santa replied " Because he is the only one that isn't a whiny Brown nosing little bitch!"
    Comment
    • Brewers in 7
      SBR MVP
      • 01-20-10
      • 1363

      #37
      How does Santa stay STD free?

      He always wraps his package before stuffing it in a chimney...
      Comment
      • yahoonino
        SBR MVP
        • 08-10-07
        • 2651

        #38
        my cousin went to Vegas I give him 200 dollars I told him play for me .when he arrives I call him I told him how I'm doing ??? He said you lost haaa then I told him how you doing ???he said I'm up 200 dollar 💵
        Comment
        • deltgen
          SBR Wise Guy
          • 12-31-10
          • 865

          #39
          Three men died and went to heaven. When St. Peter met them at the pearly gates, he told them that the type of car they would be driving in heaven depended on how righteous a life they led. The first man was given a beat up, used Ford Pinto. The second was given a nice Sentra. The third man was given a limo with a chauffeur with St. Peter commending him for leading a good life. A few days later, the first two guys caught up with the man in his limo who was crying his eyes out. They asked him the reason for the tears being that he had the best wheels in heaven. His response: "I saw my wife a few miles back, and she was on a skateboard."
          Comment
          • JIBBBY
            SBR Aristocracy
            • 12-10-09
            • 83686

            #40
            Comment
            • Brock Landers
              SBR Aristocracy
              • 06-30-08
              • 45359

              #41
              The difference between theory and Reality

              Dad says: Go ask your mother if she would sleep with anyone for a million dollars. Johny runs off and asks his mom and comes back. “She said yes!” Dad says: Now go ask your sister. Johny comes back and says “She said yes!”

              Dad tells Johny: In theory we have 2 million dollars. In reality we live with two whores.
              Comment
              • JohnGalt2341
                SBR Hall of Famer
                • 12-31-09
                • 9138

                #42
                What did John McEnroe say to his wife on his wedding night?


                It was In!!!!!
                Last edited by JohnGalt2341; 12-15-22, 12:02 PM.
                Comment
                • ThaWoj
                  SBR Hall of Famer
                  • 03-09-10
                  • 6761

                  #43
                  Just read all my posts over the last 12 years and you'll have all the laughs you need.

                  Start it off with "puppy bowl" or "just lost 40k points" and go from there
                  Comment
                  • captrobey
                    BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                    • 09-02-10
                    • 34356

                    #44
                    Wow 300 Points Thank you !!!!!
                    Comment
                    • jackpot269
                      SBR Posting Legend
                      • 09-24-07
                      • 12842

                      #45
                      Man goes to the whore house knocks on the door, lady ask thru the door what do you want

                      I want fvcked he says

                      she says put $50 under the door, he does

                      he waits, 15 minutes pass he knocks again

                      then again, what do you want, I told you I want fvcked

                      put $100 under door. he does He waits 10 minutes and knocks once more

                      and says I told you I want fvcked!!

                      The lady says AGAIN!!!!!
                      Comment
                      • Al Masters
                        SBR Hall of Famer
                        • 04-29-06
                        • 6940

                        #46
                        Did you hear about the SBR pro who didn’t receive his Amazon gift card.


                        Apparently he called Amazon to see what the problem is.
                        Comment
                        • hubie69
                          SBR Hall of Famer
                          • 09-16-10
                          • 7329

                          #47
                          A man hires a lady of the night for an evening of fun.

                          The man and the woman go up to his hotel room and the woman goes to the bathroom to freshen up before they get into doing the nasty.

                          She returns from the bathroom to the man pleasuring himself.

                          The woman looks at him and says "Honey, that's my job".

                          The man looks back at the woman and says "Yeah, I know. But you're not getting the easy one."
                          Comment
                          • konck
                            SBR Posting Legend
                            • 10-17-06
                            • 12554

                            #48
                            Santa Kostas
                            I had like 40 pts I was sending them to the sbr race book for my daily loss
                            I looked I had 1500 pts I thought I won a race!!!!!
                            But it was Santa Kostas
                            Thank you my Brother Merry Christmas
                            Comment
                            • JIBBBY
                              SBR Aristocracy
                              • 12-10-09
                              • 83686

                              #49
                              Thanks for the points OP. You don't have to give me more for this. Just searching the Christmas joke memes. Found these two.



                              Comment
                              • Otters27
                                BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                • 07-14-07
                                • 30756

                                #50
                                I've haven't gone a day without gambling in years.

                                No joke!
                                Comment
                                • captrobey
                                  BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                  • 09-02-10
                                  • 34356

                                  #51
                                  Originally posted by Otters27
                                  I've haven't gone a day without gambling in years.

                                  No joke!
                                  Except on the Holiest of Holy days i know you would never gamble because you do not want the Gods to give you bad luck on Oct 7th . National Fungus Day .
                                  Comment
                                  • EmpireMaker
                                    SBR Posting Legend
                                    • 06-18-09
                                    • 15580

                                    #52
                                    Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
                                    He was picking his nose!
                                    Comment
                                    • mr. leisure
                                      SBR Posting Legend
                                      • 01-29-08
                                      • 17507

                                      #53
                                      What happens if you eat Christmas decorations ? You get tinsel- itis !
                                      Comment
                                      • SEAHAWKHARRY
                                        BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                        • 11-29-07
                                        • 26068

                                        #54
                                        Thanks Kostasblues very generous
                                        Comment
                                        • Skookum
                                          SBR Sharp
                                          • 01-16-19
                                          • 428

                                          #55
                                          I found a restaurant serving a perfect Eggs Benedict. The only problem is it was in Alaska. But, hey; there's no place like Nome for the hollandaise!

                                          There's 5 men in and around a cathouse. One is heading up the stairs, one is heading down the stairs, one is in a room upstairs, one is in the alley outside, and one is staring at the red light outside. What nationality are they?

                                          The man heading up the stairs is Russian. The man coming down the stairs is Finnish. The man in the room is Himalayan. The man in the alley is European, and the man staring at the red light is ( insert a nationality you would like to insult here,) He's waiting for the light to turn green!

                                          Merry Christmas all!
                                          Comment
                                          • CappinTerp
                                            SBR Hall of Famer
                                            • 11-26-09
                                            • 9650

                                            #56
                                            A girl I once met had two tattoos ...the one high up on her inner thigh was a turkey...the other leg high up on inner thigh was Santa.....I asked why the two tattoos ?.....she said because,some of the best eating is done between the holidays !!!
                                            Comment
                                            • Ian
                                              SBR Hall of Famer
                                              • 11-09-09
                                              • 6071

                                              #57
                                              What do you do when a professional gambler shows up on your doorstep?

                                              Pay him for the pizza.
                                              Comment
                                              • Tanko
                                                SBR Hall of Famer
                                                • 09-19-09
                                                • 5142

                                                #58
                                                My wife walked in on me putting on a condom. “What the hell are you doing?” she yelled.I said, “Wrapping your Christmas present.”
                                                Comment
                                                • jjgold
                                                  SBR Aristocracy
                                                  • 07-20-05
                                                  • 388179

                                                  #59
                                                  Jokes for children, I’m here to win and learn
                                                  Comment
                                                  • Pigpen
                                                    SBR MVP
                                                    • 05-09-08
                                                    • 2750

                                                    #60
                                                    Thank you Kosta!!!
                                                    Comment
                                                    • las8
                                                      SBR MVP
                                                      • 09-09-09
                                                      • 1262

                                                      #61
                                                      JJGold
                                                      Comment
                                                      • JIBBBY
                                                        SBR Aristocracy
                                                        • 12-10-09
                                                        • 83686

                                                        #62
                                                        Originally posted by Ian
                                                        What do you do when a professional gambler shows up on your doorstep?

                                                        Pay him for the pizza.
                                                        Lol. This one made me giggle..
                                                        Comment
                                                        • CappinTerp
                                                          SBR Hall of Famer
                                                          • 11-26-09
                                                          • 9650

                                                          #63
                                                          My wife walked in on me pouring vodka on my hand !!!...she said why are you doing that ?...I want to get my date drunk. !
                                                          Comment
                                                          • stevek173
                                                            BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                                            • 03-29-08
                                                            • 27598

                                                            #64
                                                            What's a lesbian's favorite contest?

                                                            Pie eating
                                                            Comment
                                                            • juicername
                                                              SBR Hall of Famer
                                                              • 10-14-15
                                                              • 6906

                                                              #65
                                                              Originally posted by franklee168
                                                              My wife says she will leave me because of my poker losses.

                                                              I'm sure she's bluffing.
                                                              If you are a losing poker player you might not be as good at calling bluffs as you think you are though.
                                                              Comment
                                                              • PackerBacker
                                                                SBR Sharp
                                                                • 08-17-11
                                                                • 387

                                                                #66
                                                                Jerry the Giraffe walks into the crowded saloon. Bellies up and says to the bartender, "highballs on me".
                                                                Comment
                                                                • stevek173
                                                                  BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                                                  • 03-29-08
                                                                  • 27598

                                                                  #67
                                                                  Originally posted by PackerBacker
                                                                  Jerry the Giraffe walks into the crowded saloon. Bellies up and says to the bartender, "highballs on me".
                                                                  This is a good one haha
                                                                  Comment
                                                                  • Booya711
                                                                    BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                                                    • 12-20-11
                                                                    • 27329

                                                                    #68
                                                                    What’s worse than collecting rocks?

                                                                    collecting betpoints
                                                                    Comment
                                                                    • pablo222
                                                                      SBR Hall of Famer
                                                                      • 01-03-19
                                                                      • 8858

                                                                      #69
                                                                      Don't spend em all in one place boys
                                                                      Comment
                                                                      • matt711
                                                                        SBR MVP
                                                                        • 07-09-12
                                                                        • 2283

                                                                        #70
                                                                        Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants?……………He heard the snowblower coming.
                                                                        Comment
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