Life advice for guys who are stepdads or dating someone w/a kid...

[will2survive]

BEWARE: It's an awful feeling when you get stuck with a troubled kid that isn't yours.

Only problems (in most cases)

If you think that a woman is interesting,nice,beautiful,smart,etc.... ? that's great but beware if they have a kid because it COULD be a whole world of stress for yourself.Just giving my experience,unfortuantely it's a constant battle everyday(and I was a step kid)----good luck

[BatemanPatrickl]

Will have you taught the kid the art of stiffing yet? Turn him while he's young and teach him how to rob and steal.

Kid has no shot in life.

[teaserpleaser]

dating chicks with kids confirmed the fact that i never want crumb crunchers of my own. It would never be stressful for me because im far to selfish to take care of another mans kid.

[RealSlimShady]

dating chicks with kids confirmed the fact that i never want crumb crunchers of my own. It would never be stressful for me because im far to selfish to take care of another mans kid.

[will2survive]

a guy has to be selective too.The kid gets jealous,just causes trouble with the woman in the middle.I for one can say that if the kid isn't mine,I don't feel the same.(magnifies all of the poor behavior)

[louisvillekid]

dating chicks with kids confirmed the fact that i never want crumb crunchers of my own. It would never be stressful for me because im far to selfish to take care of another mans kid.

i kinda agree with that, im not a real big selfish person, but it would bother me trying to teach values or whatnot and knowing the kid aint mine and the real father might not like me teaching them

[iifold]

92% of the people here can barely take care of themselves...

OP is probably lucky lady with said child puts up with his flaws and lack of motivation..

Without her and her child this guy would probably be fukked..

Never take anything said here at face value..

[Extra Innings]

Kid first-Relationship second. If he has an active father....know you role (just support the mother)

[thezbar]

I dated a lady with two children { boy 7, girl 10 at that time } for awhile. She was always very protective of them. They came first no matter what. We could get together the weekends her ex husband would be scheduled to take them. Well that was it and miss. Strike One. The relationship never got out of first gear and she moved onto the next guy who was more of a partying type. She really wanted someone who would take responsibility for her past and allow her to quit work and become a stay at home mom. Strike 2. Sexually she compared me to her ex husband and that created some toxic friction between us. Strike 3.

My advice. Know going in this is far from an ideal situation. Many women will be looking for a bailout in these types of relationships. She said " Too bad we did not work out, My kids really liked you". Paying to help raise two kids not my own is a steep price to pay for love. Especially the kind that isn't that great anyway.

[Extra Innings]

I just buy them toys..."dad" can take care of college.

[THE PROFIT]

I dated a lady with two children { boy 7, girl 10 at that time } for awhile. She was always very protective of them. They came first no matter what. We could get together the weekends her ex husband would be scheduled to take them. Well that was it and miss. Strike One. The relationship never got out of first gear and she moved onto the next guy who was more of a partying type. She really wanted someone who would take responsibility for her past and allow her to quit work and become a stay at home mom. Strike 2. Sexually she compared me to her ex husband and that created some toxic friction between us. Strike 3.

My advice. Know going in this is far from an ideal situation. Many women will be looking for a bailout in these types of relationships. She said " Too bad we did not work out, My kids really liked you". Paying to help raise two kids not my own is a steep price to pay for love. Especially the kind that isn't that great anyway.

I dated a girl for a long time that had a kid. I guess it made it easier because the dad wasnt in her life whatsoever, but its still a bad situation. Raising someone elses kids just makes you bitter when those kids shit on you. Youve busted your ass to provide for them & they couldnt give a fuk less.

[Extra Innings]

Profit...my girlfriend is a hard ass...im the nice guy...works out perfect.

[Bazz27]

Hey mate, whats wrong with finding a single girl. you can then have each other 100%

[THE PROFIT]

Hey mate, whats wrong with finding a single girl. you can then have each other 100%

hes not talking about fuking married women!!!! If you think kids are a pain in the ass you should try dealing with their fukin husbands!!!

[Extra Innings]

hes not talking about fuking married women!!!! If you think kids are a pain in the ass you should try dealing with their fukin husbands!!!

I'm approaching my mid-thirties. The girl I am dating is in the same field as me, works her ass off and asks for nothing. That's my type of girl

[soli]

I would have to agree with your advice and the kids makes a big difference in a relationship

[Bazz27]

sorry about that mate, but i did say single women, not married women..

[THE PROFIT]

sorry about that mate, but i did say single women, not married women..

exactly mate. We arent talking about finding single women, were talking about mothers. He never said a fukin thing about fukin married women, Im pretty sure thy're single

[will2survive]

girlfriend---she's not married to me but her child is a fukkin drain even though I try to be nice.It's impossible to be nice and if the kid was mine,I would be more tolerant.He thinks that he's in a damn competition with me.I like my space.He's a kid and is acting out for no reason.Mom is mom.---sucks for me.

[THE PROFIT]

I've been through it Will. The kid hates for mom to pay attention to anyone else. Just dont get involved or if you're involved GTFO! Not worth it. Kids are a pain in the fukin ass. I cant stand anyones kids & I doubt I would like my own any better. Little shit piss & factories, who needs it? Then they get older & expect you to fukin keep them up. I would be in prison for child abuse because I dont have the patience for it.

[BKat52]

geez profit.. lol at least u know your capabilities.

[THE PROFIT]

its not my capabilities, its my limitations.

[jjgold]

You got to be a fukkin jerkoff to get involved with anyone that has kids
It is called being a sucker
It does not work

[Casperwaits]

My last girlfriend who I dated off and on for 5 years had a daughter who was 9 when I met her mother. I watched her grow up, and we fought all the time. I learned late in our relationship that regardless how you feel, that bond of mother/daughter is a bond VERY hard to compromise even when you feel you are right on a topic. Her daughter gets along with me better than her mom does now. I know if i date a woman with a child again, I will do it differently, and more patiently.

[BatemanPatrickl]

girlfriend---she's not married to me but her child is a fukkin drain even though I try to be nice.It's impossible to be nice and if the kid was mine,I would be more tolerant.He thinks that he's in a damn competition with me.I like my space.He's a kid and is acting out for no reason.Mom is mom.---sucks for me.

How does mom feel about your stiffing (not talking about the 3 incher you give her once a month)?

[sickler]

Advice -------->

You'd have to be really fuckin' desperate or crazy to hook up with a single mother.

[Slim]

How does mom feel about your stiffing (not talking about the 3 incher you give her once a month)?

[shari91]

For the people who have interacted with me off the forum, you know I'm a single mom. Am I under any delusions that having my son was a great move for my sex/love life? Well, sex yes. Love no. But a lot of that is my own stuff - I don't trust strange men around my son. And not every single mom needs to be rescued nor does she want to be, even if she could actually use it to some extent.

Anyway, life's too short for making rules and grand proclamations. I can't even count how many guy friends I have who at one point or another said they'd never fall in love with someone from a different race/a Jew/a Catholic/someone with kids/someone who didn't want kids/a smoker/a non-drinker/someone over 130 pounds. There are a lot of single fathers out there as well. If you find someone you fall in love with and you're lucky enough in this crazy, messed up world to have them love you back: go for it, even if it's not what you pictured as your ideal relationship when you were sitting at home in your Momma's basement, stalking SBR and spanking your little monkey.

[Casperwaits]

Shari, well said.

[hugh_morris]

For the people who have interacted with me off the forum, you know I'm a single mom. Am I under any delusions that having my son was a great move for my sex/love life? Well, sex yes. Love no. But a lot of that is my own stuff - I don't trust strange men around my son. And not every single mom needs to be rescued nor does she want to be, even if she could actually use it to some extent.

Anyway, life's too short for making rules and grand proclamations. I can't even count how many guy friends I have who at one point or another said they'd never fall in love with someone from a different race/a Jew/a Catholic/someone with kids/someone who didn't want kids/a smoker/a non-drinker/someone over 130 pounds. There are a lot of single fathers out there as well. If you find someone you fall in love with and you're lucky enough in this crazy, messed up world to have them love you back: go for it, even if it's not what you pictured as your ideal relationship when you were sitting at home in your Momma's basement, stalking SBR and spanking your little monkey.

very well put shari...and as a single father from experience..if you are in a relationship isnt an "ideal" relationship..you start thinking about how life is much to short to be living it unhappy..for all parties concerned..especially the kids...i have been on both sides of the coin...it just happens that right now..i'm in the happy stage and hope it continues on....this whole thing about kids, no kids is something to give thought to, but if two people really..and i do mean really care about each other..they will get thru it as a unit..if not, then dont pro-long it...get out when its in the early stages...good luck to all searching for happiness...out..

[sickler]

The thread was started mentioning "dating" but quickly evolved into a live-in situation, taking on the father figure role with someone else's kids. Big difference between casual dating and getting into a serious relationship. My experience with single mothers involved dating two of them (ie sex), nothing serious. One I was taking a course with and we'd go back to her place after class. Her kids were in school. I never met them, saw some photos of them on the wall though. The second was a woman who wanted some time off from her mother duties to go out to have a bit of fun. She'd leave her kid with a sitter. I was never in a situation where I was expected to take on the father role. I'm not a lovable person so chances aren't great that it would've blossomed into something serious. I mentioned a month or so ago about a girlfriend telling her best friend that if I got her pregnant she wouldn't tell me and have the baby. That really happened to me. Welcome to my world.

Single parents have it tough re-entering the dating scene. I know a single dad, decent looking with a good job. He placed an ad at an online dating site. He didn't receive one bite from a childless woman. The only replies he got were from single mothers. The reality is most people without kids don't want to get involved with people who have kids. Single mothers and single fathers are good for each other but how many single fathers are there out there? In the vast majority of cases the mother has custody when it becomes splitsville. Single mothers have it tough while looking for love.

Anyway, life's too short for making rules and grand proclamations. I can't even count how many guy friends I have who at one point or another said they'd never fall in love with someone from a different race/a Jew/a Catholic/someone with kids/someone who didn't want kids/a smoker/a non-drinker/someone over 130 pounds. There are a lot of single fathers out there as well. If you find someone you fall in love with and you're lucky enough in this crazy, messed up world to have them love you back: go for it, even if it's not what you pictured as your ideal relationship when you were sitting at home in your Momma's basement, stalking SBR and spanking your little monkey.

This is flawed. It's presented as the only alternative to a life alone spanking the monkey is settling for something you don't want. There are plenty of fish out there. Heck, where I live the women (many single without children) are very much against cruelty to animals. This is one of the most popular bumper stickers 'round here:

[THE PROFIT]

sickler, having sex with someone is just that, sex. I've had sex with several women & didnt even know their fukin name, they could have had 10 kids, that doesnt make a fuk. I think we all know here that hes talking about dating, meaning a relationship with a single mother.

[sickler]

sickler, having sex with someone is just that, sex. I've had sex with several women & didnt even know their fukin name, they could have had 10 kids, that doesnt make a fuk. I think we all know here that hes talking about dating, meaning a relationship with a single mother.

Profit, the biggest component for me in a relationship with a woman is sexual. Regular casual sex with the same woman = dating. No trips to the zoo required for it to be considered dating.

[THE PROFIT]

Profit, the biggest component for me in a relationship with a woman is sexual. Regular casual sex with the same woman = dating. No trips to the zoo required for it to be considered dating.

okay! I consider that fukin. Dating involves dinner from time to time, and if that dinner ever involves a happy meal or chicken tenders, thats bad!

[sickler]

okay! I consider that fukin. Dating involves dinner from time to time, and if that dinner ever involves a happy meal or chicken tenders, thats bad!

The classmate relationship was strickly fuckin'. The other one involved going out places, dinner included. It was her time to shed responsibilities (kids) for awhile, so the kids weren't with us. I did meet the kids and had to put on a good face -- try not to look mean or give them the impression I was stealing mommy away from them (that means not being frisky with her when the kids were around)

I don't know what a happy meal is. That must be a good thing.