How to properly take a piss in a public washroom

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  • buztah
    SBR Hall of Famer
    • 03-23-07
    • 7470

    #1
    How to properly take a piss in a public washroom
    Select a urinal, preferrably one closest to another gentleman relieving himself. This is important as you do not wish to offend him by callously indicating you are scornful by choosing a urinal on the opposite side of the room. All guys wiz. It is no big deal. This is male bonding time.

    Once at the urinal, unzip and take your kok and balls out -- let them hang freely. If your balls have been itching, now is a great time to scratch them.

    Turn to the gentleman next to you, smile, ask him how he is doing and compliment him on his endowment (even if he has a tiny kok you must pretentiously praise him -- one of life's must lie situations.)

    Point your kok toward the centre of the urinal and maintain control at all times whilst pissing. It is impolite to splash the boots of the nice man next to you. While you will be tempted to bomb off a fart or two, you must resist the urge until noone is standing next to you. These are the little inner battles we must fight daily in order to maintain a modicum of respect for our fellow man in these days n times.

    Once the stream has weakened, you will need to lean closer into the urinal's opening to finish up. Give your tolly a good series of jerks out and up, shooting excess drops of pee into the urinal. Repackage your twig n berries within your undies and zip up carefully (never rush this step or you might get a severe nip from the unforgiving teeth of the zipper).

    If desired, wash your hands and exit gracefully.
  • tacomax
    SBR Hall of Famer
    • 08-10-05
    • 9619

    #2
    Thanks. Now I can see where I've been going wrong all these years.
    Originally posted by pags11
    SBR would never get rid of me...ever...
    Originally posted by BuddyBear
    I'd probably most likely chose Pags to jack off too.
    Originally posted by curious
    taco is not a troll, he is a bubonic plague bacteria.
    Comment
    • Robyn
      SBR Hall of Famer
      • 02-05-08
      • 9681

      #3
      The "wash your hands if you please" part left me a little sick. This is why I do not shake hands. Ever.
      Comment
      • odusmykal
        SBR MVP
        • 08-30-07
        • 3426

        #4
        I always wash my hands BEFORE i step to the urinal..
        Comment
        • jellobiafra
          SBR Hall of Famer
          • 03-08-09
          • 6291

          #5
          Originally posted by Robyn
          The "wash your hands if you please" part left me a little sick. This is why I do not shake hands. Ever.
          Robyn you will shake my hand and you will like it woman.

          But I'll settle for a tongue kiss instead. Bread - same deal goes for you.
          Comment
          • buztah
            SBR Hall of Famer
            • 03-23-07
            • 7470

            #6
            This washing your hands nonsense is a scam, perpetrated by the big soap conglomerates to peddle their useless products.
            Comment
            • emoney
              SBR MVP
              • 03-12-09
              • 1481

              #7
              I also like to wash my hands BEFORE taking a piss. Assuming you take a shower in the morning and put on clean underwear, that is probably the cleanest part of your body. If you can't manage to urinate without pissing all over yourself, then clean hands are probably the least of your worries.
              Comment
              • Robyn
                SBR Hall of Famer
                • 02-05-08
                • 9681

                #8
                Originally posted by buztah
                This washing your hands nonsense is a scam, perpetrated by the big soap conglomerates to peddle their useless products.
                You may be right. Same goes with condoms. No way those things prevent babies from happening.
                Comment
                • buztah
                  SBR Hall of Famer
                  • 03-23-07
                  • 7470

                  #9
                  Robyn, condomns are a scam perpetrated by the Cathlic church to destroy the pleasure of vaginal intercourse. You see, my dear, the Pope and his minions believe that having sex for the sheer pleasure of it is wrong so they plotted together one night, with Jewish merchants, to create a product that would ruin sex and make money.

                  Can I clear up anything else for you, sweetheart?
                  Comment
                  • Robyn
                    SBR Hall of Famer
                    • 02-05-08
                    • 9681

                    #10
                    Waitaminute! Formal Catholic Church framework stipulates that birth control is wrong.........you can't trick me, señor loco!
                    Comment
                    • buztah
                      SBR Hall of Famer
                      • 03-23-07
                      • 7470

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Robyn
                      Waitaminute! Formal Catholic Church framework stipulates that birth control is wrong.........you can't trick me, señor loco!
                      Robyn, the catholics prick a hole in the end of the condomn so that the skeech can still impregnate the lady. The purpose is to subdue the "evil pleasure." You will never see a Catholic purchase a "ribbed for her pleasure" condomn, by the way.
                      Comment
                      • fsugolf
                        SBR Hall of Famer
                        • 07-17-09
                        • 6194

                        #12
                        when you don't need to use hands, you don't need to wash
                        Comment
                        • jellobiafra
                          SBR Hall of Famer
                          • 03-08-09
                          • 6291

                          #13
                          Originally posted by fsugolf
                          when you don't need to use hands, you don't need to wash

                          What do you pee like an 8 year old, with your hands on your hips?
                          Comment
                          • Richkas
                            SBR Posting Legend
                            • 02-03-08
                            • 19396

                            #14
                            Select a urinal, preferrably one closest to another gentleman relieving himself. This is important as you do not wish to offend him by callously indicating you are scornful by choosing a urinal on the opposite side of the room.

                            Phuck that, let the cocksucker be offended. I'm used to pissing at the otb.
                            Comment
                            • buztah
                              SBR Hall of Famer
                              • 03-23-07
                              • 7470

                              #15
                              Rickay! Rickay! Peac and love, brah. Peace n love.
                              Comment
                              • wtf
                                SBR Posting Legend
                                • 08-22-08
                                • 12983

                                #16
                                buzzy, have you ever engaged in oral copulation with your urine neighbor?

                                seems you crossed the line by checking him out
                                Comment
                                • buztah
                                  SBR Hall of Famer
                                  • 03-23-07
                                  • 7470

                                  #17
                                  Dubya, I would normally be deeply offended by such a gross and unbecoming question. I am sure you meant it as tongue in cheek though.
                                  Comment
                                  • jellobiafra
                                    SBR Hall of Famer
                                    • 03-08-09
                                    • 6291

                                    #18
                                    Buzzy you told us once about taking a tranny to a public restroom for carnal pleasures. Surely you aren't above picking up well-endowed gentlemen at the urinal if the opportunity presents itself.

                                    I think it was a fair question.
                                    Comment
                                    • keyboarding
                                      SBR Hall of Famer
                                      • 07-30-09
                                      • 6817

                                      #19
                                      I kick open the door to the washroom, kick open the stall door, don't lock the door because the sound of my piss hitting the water deters people from entering, go piss, flush with my shoe, kick open the stall door, kick open the washroom door, get the fukk out.

                                      Washing hands isn't necessary unless you piss like a 10 year old or love giving yourself hand jobs, you sick fukks.
                                      Comment
                                      • buztah
                                        SBR Hall of Famer
                                        • 03-23-07
                                        • 7470

                                        #20
                                        KB, you have life by the balls. Respect.
                                        Comment
                                        • TPowell
                                          SBR Posting Legend
                                          • 02-21-08
                                          • 18842

                                          #21
                                          find nearest womens restroom. Piss in stall, come out with ur dick hanging and held high
                                          Comment
                                          • compaqDikk
                                            SBR Hall of Famer
                                            • 10-08-05
                                            • 5699

                                            #22
                                            i piss in the sink to mark my terriroty
                                            Comment
                                            • ipickwinners
                                              SBR MVP
                                              • 01-06-08
                                              • 3136

                                              #23
                                              who the fck takes their balls out when pissing?? would be kinda hard
                                              Comment
                                              • BGS 9.5
                                                SBR MVP
                                                • 01-10-08
                                                • 4628

                                                #24
                                                You are a fukkin idiot homo. End of story.
                                                Comment
                                                • paco
                                                  SBR Aristocracy
                                                  • 05-07-09
                                                  • 62873

                                                  #25
                                                  Originally posted by keyboarding
                                                  I kick open the door to the washroom, kick open the stall door, don't lock the door because the sound of my piss hitting the water deters people from entering, go piss, flush with my shoe, kick open the stall door, kick open the washroom door, get the fukk out.
                                                  fukks.
                                                  Comment
                                                  • Chi_archie
                                                    SBR Aristocracy
                                                    • 07-22-08
                                                    • 63168

                                                    #26
                                                    Comment
                                                    • DiggityDaggityDo
                                                      SBR Aristocracy
                                                      • 11-30-08
                                                      • 81450

                                                      #27
                                                      But what if you see this in the restroom??

                                                      I think we may need a new set of rules here.

                                                      Comment
                                                      • tltaylor89
                                                        SBR Posting Legend
                                                        • 06-19-09
                                                        • 19610

                                                        #28
                                                        ROFLlol he takes his balls out he must be fuking around the glory hole in the last stall
                                                        Comment
                                                        • Shortstop
                                                          BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                                          • 01-02-09
                                                          • 27281

                                                          #29
                                                          Great advice! Make sure you wash your hands before and after you void.
                                                          Comment
                                                          • Shortstop
                                                            BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                                            • 01-02-09
                                                            • 27281

                                                            #30
                                                            By the way, "void" means urinate.
                                                            Comment
                                                            • diogee
                                                              SBR Posting Legend
                                                              • 01-11-08
                                                              • 19477

                                                              #31
                                                              Turn to the gentleman next to you, smile, ask him how he is doing and compliment him on his endowment

                                                              Wow too much Buzzy....that would get some interesting reactions.


                                                              Originally posted by Chi_archie
                                                              I can't believe I just f*cking watched that.
                                                              Comment
                                                              • pico
                                                                BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                                                • 04-05-07
                                                                • 27321

                                                                #32
                                                                lol
                                                                Comment
                                                                • Ace_of_Spades
                                                                  SBR Posting Legend
                                                                  • 10-14-09
                                                                  • 13518

                                                                  #33
                                                                  I can't piss in public places.
                                                                  Comment
                                                                  • 20Four7
                                                                    SBR Hall of Famer
                                                                    • 04-08-07
                                                                    • 6703

                                                                    #34
                                                                    Originally posted by Chi_archie
                                                                    Archie, that seems to contradict everything Buzzy said..... should I be surprised?
                                                                    Comment
                                                                    • buztah
                                                                      SBR Hall of Famer
                                                                      • 03-23-07
                                                                      • 7470

                                                                      #35
                                                                      Originally posted by Ace_of_Spades
                                                                      I can't piss in public places.
                                                                      small kok?
                                                                      Comment
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