"this thread is so embarrassing...some kid just pickin' two dogs a day at random and hoping for 1-1..."
having a few winning nights on a thread at sbr is just like turning the light on in the kitchen at 3 in the morning...all the cockroaches scatter and disappear...
Comment
CanuckG
SBR Posting Legend
12-23-10
21978
#1651
Comment
No coincidences
SBR Aristocracy
01-18-10
76300
#1652
Until the lights go out again when a play loses.
Comment
PS3
SBR Wise Guy
01-29-12
734
#1653
They see you losing, they LOL'in
They see you winning, they hidin'
Comment
fitguy67
SBR Hall of Famer
03-13-11
5082
#1654
Originally posted by fitguy67
Overheard at the bank when the proctologist pulls out a rectal thermometer to sign a cheque: "Some asshole must have my pen..."
But seriously guyz, we’ve got to know what we’re up against to prevent this thread from the usual re-infection of trolls after the next inevitable downturn. (Canuck, if you can buy us some more time while we get the word out…)
To this end…you’ll see below what I’ve managed to cut and paste, from various reliable sources. (Keep in mind that anything and everything you read on the internet is 100% true…unless followed by “LOL”.) Get the word out…the quality of this thread, of this forum, even of humanity itself may be at stake.
_________________________________
The Sport-forum troll: Facts and Theories
Research done on this interesting sub-(or perhaps non-)human species indicate that when exposed to a sport-betting forum page showing at least two consecutive losing days they get an uncontrollable erection (just as a strarved dog exposed to food salivates)…
Perhaps we should pity the wretched creatures…they’re in constant search of relief from the “priapism” caused by SBR where hundreds of arousing threads assault their pathetic little proto-brains simultaneously. (Interestingly, it’s recently been revealed that trolls are “prolly” allergic to dictionaries the way vampires are said to be allergic to garlic…so they are in fact hard-wired incapable of comprehending the previous, or this, sentence. One theory has it that their proto-brain simply switches off after 39 words or two sentences, whichever comes first…neuronal impulses are then directly shunted to the reptilian-brain, leading to their impulse to “bite the hand that feeds them”.)
This inept group wasn’t even noticed until the rise of the internet in general, sports-forums in particular. Till now, they’ve usually been “contained” living unproductive lives in some random relative’s basement and misdiagnosed as a garden-variety “loser”…but proctologists have always known better and have been waging a secret war on behalf of humanity to, as one practitioner put it “throw them off their game and keep them at bay" (even leaking the rectal-thermometer “joke” so that the battle could be “waged while hidden in plain site by the seeming ridulousness of it all”)…They take such a hardline approach because they believe that the forum-trolls are actually the advance guard to an alien invasion. The same proctologist theorized that they (the trolls) have been sent here to soften and decay the social- and intellectual-fabric of humanity, but have chosen to focus first on the volatile internet-gambling virtual community.
________________
just in case it wasn't, tho'...I had a little post prepared in my best "Troll-ese"...
Background: I figured we might be able to use fake trash-posts like this as a sort of "vaccination"...when the trolls are doing their rounds, chekkin' up on opportunites to re-enter threads at the first sign of a slump brewing...they see lots and lots of avatars...especially(research indicates that and also brings some relief to their nether regions) ...and they read a few words (remember their 39-consecutive-word limit) that they perceive as whiny-/bitchy-enough...then their proto-brain might just conclude that this thread's already "covered" and stay away for another day...
i attach the following as an example of what troll-ologist research suggests might effectively "mark out another's territory"...thus giving the human beings on that thread peace for another day.
_____________________
oh this is so pathetic...pick one dog at random (u prolly have one of those little "lotto machines"...put 11 balls in for tonite's games, did we?, so lame) and sprinkle it "three ways"...cuz it's the closest thing ur ever gonna get to a real "three way"...unless it's with ur avatar and ur hand
_____________________________________
Whenever a thread gets "at risk" for re-infestation due to a winning streak of any length, the "normals" should throw in an occasional smiley-rich, low-IQ, bitch/moan/mock post, such as the one above.
For anyone with an education it may seem hard at first...Some in the Anti-Troll movement have discovered that if you just stick a pen up your ass to get in the right frame of mind you'll discover that Trollese is actually quite easy to write...almost fun...and you'll understand how many "naturals" operating at SBR and elsewhere can register thousands and thousands of such "contributions" to the forum in a surprisingly short amount of time.)
__________________________________
...TEI, "The Troll-Eradication Initiative" (radical wing of TTM, "The Troll Truth Movement")
Charlotte Bobcats +3 (-110) (.5U)
Charlotte Bobcats +127 (.5U)
Comment
fitguy67
SBR Hall of Famer
03-13-11
5082
#1665
this is so embarrassing, WINNING money with such lame, pathetic plays...and posting unfashionably early, and keeping dweebishly accurate records...don't know how i endure this
Comment
greenhippo
SBR Hall of Famer
02-15-12
9091
#1666
Considering Canucks record went from 13-13 to 13-12 the next day, I don't think reminding everyone that they can't keep an accurate record is a good thing. You should want to keep that on the hush hush.
Comment
greenhippo
SBR Hall of Famer
02-15-12
9091
#1667
Also, picking at under 53%? A 3rd grader picking spreads at complete random would probably do better.
Comment
No coincidences
SBR Aristocracy
01-18-10
76300
#1668
Originally posted by greenhippo
Considering Canucks record went from 13-13 to 13-12 the next day, I don't think reminding everyone that they can't keep an accurate record is a good thing. You should want to keep that on the hush hush.
2/23/2012 4:30:00 AM bygreenhippo I need some advice on how to keep in control of my bankroll, I am probably one of, if not the worst at it. I win, a lot more than I lose, but I keep making larger and larger wagers (50-100%) of my bankroll because all of a sudden $500 doesn't mean anything, I want $1,000 ect.
That's my page, from September-December I was hitting at almost 70%, majority NFL where I was over 70. You'd think with that win % I'd be sitting pretty? Nope, I've actually lost money. I lose a $200.
Comment
CanuckG
SBR Posting Legend
12-23-10
21978
#1670
Originally posted by greenhippo
Considering Canucks record went from 13-13 to 13-12 the next day, I don't think reminding everyone that they can't keep an accurate record is a good thing. You should want to keep that on the hush hush.
Where? If so I'll fix it.
Comment
CanuckG
SBR Posting Legend
12-23-10
21978
#1671
Actually, looking back I screwed myself out of a win. I went 12-12, then 13-13 then had another winner and said 13-12 so if anything it evened out....
Comment
CanuckG
SBR Posting Legend
12-23-10
21978
#1672
Adding:
Chicago Blackhawks +137 (.5U)
Washington Capitals +111 (.5U)
Calgary Flames -110 (.5U)
Comment
fitguy67
SBR Hall of Famer
03-13-11
5082
#1673
[ Originally Posted by Chili_Powder greenhippo's Blog
2/23/2012 4:30:00 AM bygreenhippo I need some advice on how to keep in control of my bankroll, I am probably one of, if not the worst at it. I win, a lot more than I lose, but I keep making larger and larger wagers (50-100%) of my bankroll because all of a sudden $500 doesn't mean anything, I want $1,000 ect.
That's my page, from September-December I was hitting at almost 70%, majority NFL where I was over 70. You'd think with that win % I'd be sitting pretty? Nope, I've actually lost money. I lose a $200. ]
_____________________________
The preceding was a test of our "Troll Alert System"...nicely played, NoCoin.
"Shine the light...and they shall scatter."
_____________________
Apart from the "alien" theory, an emerging view is that the poor saps share the gene for what is now called "Ocular Rectitis" (a Shitty Outlook on everything), explaining why re-habilitation seems out of the question.
Comment
fitguy67
SBR Hall of Famer
03-13-11
5082
#1674
unbelievable...they TRY to mock someone who manages to make money consistently with a 53% strike rate...when they admit they can't turn a profit with a (claimed) 70% strike rate
_________________________
whether extra-terrestrial or genetic-mutational in origin, the end result is the same...the unfortunate wasting of oxygen
Note to myself: henceforth, i shall promote the more technical terminology of
*OWU (oxygen-wasting units), or
*SOOR (sufferers of Ocular Rectitis)<this one="" has="" a="" nice="" descriptive="" "ring"="" to="" it="" when="" you="" say="" aloud=""> <this one has the nicest "ring" to it when said aloud>
when referring to these attitudinally-challenged pests</this>
Funny thing is that the guys who are down thousands probably take this way more seriously. This is a hobby to me and any profit is a bonus.
Comment
fitguy67
SBR Hall of Famer
03-13-11
5082
#1676
"Not understanding the crucial concept that a capper is looking for "value" and not just "winners-at-any-price" is behind a lot of the idiotic, childish, "monday morning quarterbacking" and bitchnmoaning around here."
________________________
"Effectiveness" is measured not by net Wins (W-L), but by net Units (U.returned -U.risked)
"Efficiency" is measured not by %Wins [W/(W+L)]...but by %Yield (U.net/U.risked)
But the kiddies here can't get their little brains off the wins & win%...and what happened last night or the last 9 plays etc...
_________________
Whatever ur doing canuck is working...u exercise the DISCIPLINE TO choose ur plays carefully (ie. based on value) and you are PATIENT and CONFIDENT enough to know that any downturn can and will be rode out by simply continuing to do what u do...
no "chasing" (or "line-clearing"...a modified version of the same thing) to hurry up the process...cuz ur INTELLIGENT enough to know that these practices will wipe you out in the long term (kind of like changing lanes without a shoulder-check ["ah...the side-view mirror is ok"]...will save you time and make driving "easier"...it might "work fine" 999 times in a row, then...)
I like cappers like yourself who methodically keep on keepin' on with a flat manageable % of roll defined as a unit (for me, that's 1%) (and very-occasionally, when the play--not some "loss & chalk chasing system"--calls for it, consider a double-unit play...maybe triple once a year...u get the idea. But habitual WIDE swings of units played is a disguised form of impatient chasing (even if the capper tells himself and his followers its due to "increased confidence".)
My experience is that a handful of "enthusiastic amateurs" like yourself and EaglesPhan and LTA and 70kgman are much more reliable and profitable long term than the real professionals who are really in the "entertainment" industry...of keeping all the undisciplined/impatient follower-subscribers entertained with big-unit bailouts and complex wagers.