aight so we got all that love and happiness crap outta the way in week one, coupla you whoores got ta split up my dough. whole buncha dudes grabbing each others butts and sitting around a campfire wearin' war paint and singin Kumbaya.....i'm gonna puke a little just thinkin about that mess. party is over girls. the fix was in week one, got a edict from the top that if i didn't miss at least one then i'm run outta the gig and they bring some shmoe in ta pinch hit. i'm a company man, i know which side my bread is buttered on, ill be yer step and fetch boy, they say jump i say how high.....get the picture? anyhow this week i'm keepin all the loot, but go ahead and take a shot anyhow nancy, it aint like you got anythin better ta do. down to business, heres the friggin locks this week:
Michigan - 1.5 yup, i know, both these teams absolutely blow. wasnt even gonna take this game offa the board 'til i seen that Justin7 knucklehead toutin' up the Irish on that SBR.TV gig. reckon thats good enough to put me on the other side. not even good ol' touchdown jesus can keep the Irish in this game, that fat ass Weiss dude needs to step away from the buffet and stick his chubby foot deep in sumbodys ass. number got bet down to where i liked it, prolly will get back up to 3 or so by kick-off. thats how us pros roll, we get the best numbers (write that down, squares, first free lesson of the season).
Vandy -7 them big bad Owls on the road are gettin' too much respect here. two wins against friggin turds don't much cut the mustard when it comes down to a trip into the SEC. the Commodores aint no joke, they been covering #s at a pretty good clip fer a coupla years now. Vandy covers this goin' away and i'm halfway into my 5 dime hooker dope and whiskey binge. sorry boys, been a long dry summer once all the free booze from the Bash dried up.
Detroit +3 the lions still got that uber-nazi skinhead tool fer a QB that predicted 18 wins last year? hes a choade, no doubt, and they got whacked last week but they never shoulda been a road fave anyhow. Rogers got that first win under his belt, completin 80% but for about 13 total yards on MNF but there wasnt no way the NFL was gonna let GB lose the home opener. on the road, against a team that don't suck near as bad as they looked last week is a whole 'nother deal. i'll take them points all day long, but i admit i'dve rather had the 3 an a hook......
all i got time for now squares. congrats on you vultures that got paid last week, but now the gloves are off. nobody gets a fackin nickel offa me, now i gotta go get a little twisted up and commence ta 'cappin that MNF game (which one a you SBR braniacs do I gotta thank fer that rule???? liked it better when i only hadda work 10 minutes a week). take yer free shot ladies, but don't get yer feelins hurt when ya don't get no cash.
Michigan - 1.5 yup, i know, both these teams absolutely blow. wasnt even gonna take this game offa the board 'til i seen that Justin7 knucklehead toutin' up the Irish on that SBR.TV gig. reckon thats good enough to put me on the other side. not even good ol' touchdown jesus can keep the Irish in this game, that fat ass Weiss dude needs to step away from the buffet and stick his chubby foot deep in sumbodys ass. number got bet down to where i liked it, prolly will get back up to 3 or so by kick-off. thats how us pros roll, we get the best numbers (write that down, squares, first free lesson of the season).
Vandy -7 them big bad Owls on the road are gettin' too much respect here. two wins against friggin turds don't much cut the mustard when it comes down to a trip into the SEC. the Commodores aint no joke, they been covering #s at a pretty good clip fer a coupla years now. Vandy covers this goin' away and i'm halfway into my 5 dime hooker dope and whiskey binge. sorry boys, been a long dry summer once all the free booze from the Bash dried up.
Detroit +3 the lions still got that uber-nazi skinhead tool fer a QB that predicted 18 wins last year? hes a choade, no doubt, and they got whacked last week but they never shoulda been a road fave anyhow. Rogers got that first win under his belt, completin 80% but for about 13 total yards on MNF but there wasnt no way the NFL was gonna let GB lose the home opener. on the road, against a team that don't suck near as bad as they looked last week is a whole 'nother deal. i'll take them points all day long, but i admit i'dve rather had the 3 an a hook......
all i got time for now squares. congrats on you vultures that got paid last week, but now the gloves are off. nobody gets a fackin nickel offa me, now i gotta go get a little twisted up and commence ta 'cappin that MNF game (which one a you SBR braniacs do I gotta thank fer that rule???? liked it better when i only hadda work 10 minutes a week). take yer free shot ladies, but don't get yer feelins hurt when ya don't get no cash.
