[OldBill]

Terrible Drivers: This cop took me to court for a false speeding ticket. He got on the stand and asked me a question, thinking he was putting me in my place—not knowing just how dumb it was.

1. He Put His Own Food in His Mouth

I remember having to defend myself on a speeding accusation. I had footage of the dashcam, which clearly showed me not speeding. I was going 30 mph, but the officer claimed I was driving 50 mph. The dashcam footage showed him driving at 40 mph and catching up to me fairly quickly. That’s when he decided to pipe in and make a fool of himself.

He asked, "If you were really going 30, then why did I have to go 40 to catch up to you?”

I responded, “Because in order to catch up to anything, you have to go faster than what you're following. If I was going 50, you would have never caught up to me while going 40.”
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[OldBill]

OUT OF LUCK
A few years back, I was traveling on the interstate to meet some friends who attended a different college than I did for a weekend. On the way there, I was in the right-hand lane, minding my own business, when a car tried to cut me off. I thought it was no big deal until she ended up clipping my bumper and running me off the road.
She was driving at a speed of about 80–85 mph. While I was on the shoulder attempting to contact the local authorities to report an accident, the other driver kept on going along her merry way. Five minutes later, a state trooper pulled up behind me and asked what had happened. I explained the situation, described the other vehicle—including a partial license plate number— and he asked if my car was still drivable.
After confirming that it was, he said, “Just follow me up to this next exit. I got a call about a driver who is out of gas and needs assistance”. We pulled up to the next exit, just shy of a gas station. When I saw her, I couldn't believe my eyes. It was the girl who was the other party in my hit-and-run. She tried to deny that anything had occurred.


Then, the trooper looked at my front bumper damage and her back end damage, assessed the paint colors matched, etc. Not only that, but her plate had the partial information I had gathered as she sped away. It turned out the girl had no insurance and no license. She got hauled off to the station on a hit-and-run, all because she couldn’t slow down and be a decent driver.

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omfg

[OldBill]

3. Shortened Coffee Break

I was in some heavy traffic going into an event center. I noticed a squad car sitting on the median, making sure people weren’t doing stupid things. Right as we were getting up to where the squad car was, some idiot cut across two lanes of traffic. He cut me off and went into a street with a "Do Not Enter" sign. He did all of this right in front of the marked cruiser.I made eye contact with the officer as he put down his coffee and flipped on his blues.

[OldBill]

Take That!
My mom was a law enforcement agent for 30 years. Back in the 80s, my dad was driving through the city with her as a passenger when a car full of young guys pulled up. They were all holding up racy magazines, flashing the centerfolds at my mom, yelling, "How'd you like that"?!
My mom owned them with her response. She flashed her badge back at them and said, "How'd you like this"?!
They got spooked and broke a bunch of road rules trying to get away in a hurry.