THE WALRUS---Mike Holmgren

[Scorpion]

THE WALRUS

The Walrus desired to be king.
THe Super Bowl loss sure did sting.
The game lost, Walrus showed his true colors
When he refused to shake the hand of others.

Walrus went back to his Emerald City.
He rallied with fans upon whom he felt pity.
He complained about the men in "striped shirts"
And how losing a game like that hurts.

The fans were blinded by Walrus' deception.
It escaped their and the media's conception
That Walrus' mismanagement of the clock/
Big plays/ dropped passes/ and missed kicks doomed the 'hawks.

Walrus and the 'hawks were not mentally tough.
Playing the Super Steelers was entirely too rough.
The 'hawks and the Walrus imploded on the big stage.
The only defense- complain and express outrage.

A closer look would reveal the truth-
Walrus is as likeable as John Wilkes Booth.
His coaching ability leaves much to be desired,
But a true assessment might get him fired.

For months, the Walrus would wend,
Through media outlets without end.
He continued to deceive and dissemble.
His story the truth hardly resembled.

So adept at playing "hide the ball",
It is clear Walrus missed his true life's call.
The Walrus could have been a politician supreme,
Much better at this than coaching a football team.

[bigboydan]

who wrote this one andrew dice clay

[Scorpion]

THE COACH AND THE QUARTERBACK ---Cowher * Big Ben

The fans clamored to run him out of town on a rail.
Though successful, in big games, the coach's teams would fail.
The whispers grew louder to a cacophonous din,
"In big games, he chokes, cannot coach, cannot win".

The coach heard the heckling of the throng.
He determined that he would prove them all wrong.
In 2004, in round one, he drafted a young man.
A quarterback to take his team to the promised land.

The quarterback entered the league with a chip on his shoulder.
This chip was as large as the largest boulder.
He, too, heard whispers regarding his play.
"Manning and Rivers are better", the "experts" did say.

That first season on the sidelines was to be quite serene.
Then, the Baltimore defense and fate intervened.
On that fateful day, Tommy's elbow was injured and torn.
Young Ben put down the clipboard and "took the bull by the horns".

Through hurricanes and more in that magical first season,
Young Ben played with savvy- beyond all hope and reason.
With homefield advantage and a record of fifteen and one,
Coach felt sure, this year, he would have his "spot in the sun".

Then, versus the Patriots, another crushing championship loss.
The whispers started anew- the fans were angry and cross.
The more rabid among them called for coach's head on a platter.
The coach and the QB mourned and pretended it didn't matter.

Then, in August, "next year" finally came.
Pessimistic fans expected more of the same.
A spectacular season, the team would complete,
Only to end in crushing playoff defeat.

The script was altered and the team struggled to survive,
The team needed help with a record of seven and five.
Disgruntled fans coalesced into an angry mob.
The most rabid among them calling for the coach's job.

The mob failed to realize that the team was injury depleted.
With such issues, a 15-1 season could not be repeated.
Then, the young QB and others returned to relative health.
The much maligned team snuck up on the others with stealth.

Each week for the team was a "must win".
A single loss would turn Men of Steel into tin.
The coach and the QB were up to the task.
Eight wins in a row was all that was asked.

Finally, on a glorious Super Bowl night,
The stars were aligned and all was right.
The team won "the big one" for Bettis and coach.
Coach Cowher was finally beyond the fans' reproach.

A new season begins and the whispers will continue to sound,
For the fans of the team are like a pack of rabid hounds.
But the whispers will not grow to cacophonous din,
For "the big one", Coach Cowher did finally win.

[The Great One]

Manning and Rivers are still better. Itake it they mean Eli, because Peyton wouldn't even be in that conversation. I know Rivers is still an unknown, but even with GM's being morons, i still think those QB's would still go in that order. Rothlisberger may not fall to 11 though and who knows vould move up to Rivers, but there is no way, you pick him before Eli. Eli will have a Carson and Peyton type year this year.

The Steelers like the Patriots won in spite of Rothlisberger, not because of him.