Many times during sobriety we relapse and feel depressed so we abuse more to get past that feeling of depression. Hang in there. Relapse is the name of the game, good luck getting through it and back into sobriety. When you got a guy like you got, it's all the tougher. Your best bet is to try and move to America where the blow is shit and expensive, you'll be so disgusted by the scene here you'll never want to do it again. Come see me Drinker and I'll give you a sniff of Seattles finest and you'll want a few cups of coffee to go with it