Another night of drinking. Oh well.
10. Green beer does not make the girls look any more attractive. (If someone tries to sell me another Green Coors Light I will go Columbine on someone!!)
9. Green is not everyone's color. (Okay, you are a 200 pound drunk chick. You are wearing a green hat.....I still do not want to f**k you. Nuff said!!)
8. No decent sports to bet on tonight. (Did you guys take the USA in the WBC game tonight?....Neither did I. If I cannot watch sports at a bar, then I may as well hang myself after the 30th woman tells me I am nice but not her type.)
7. The only ** in front of ANY establishment should be in front of a McDonalds. ( Every God Damn bar I walked into tonight pretended that the letters ** in front of their establishment made them Irish. That would be the equivalent of putting the name Brock in front of my real name to justify calling myself a porn star!!)
6. $6 for a Guinness...are you kidding me!!?!! ( Look, I believe in capatilism, I do. I just do not see paying $6 for a beer unless it is served by Eva Mendes topless!!)
5. Irish music sounds like somebody stepped on their cat repeatedly.( If I hear "Danny Boy" or anything by the McShanty McFeely band ONE MORE TIME I will sell all my Citbank stock which will certainly cause a freefall in the stock market. Oh, that's been done already? Fine..I will just post videos of my unshaven man parts on YouTube!!)
4. Everybody pretends to be Irish. (My friend Sean Chapin, who is 100% Italian spent the day drinking and talking in an Irish brogue accent. F**ker was lucky I left my gun at home. Imagine me walking into a Soul Food restaurant during Kwanzaa and talking jive!!?! Would I get my ass kicked? What do you think
3. Cops all are over the place (Yes, I had a couple to many. Yes my girl hates me. Yes I am feeling insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Is that a reason to arrest me on the holiest of drinking days....? I guess so. F**king cops!!)
2. Kiss Me I'm Irish Shirts are false advertising. ( I kissed a girl wearing one. She proceeded to punch me in the gut and call those pesky cops. If I hadn't had a drink with officer McCann at the previous bar an hour before, I would have been in a world of hurt. Girls, stop wearing those shirts!! You don;t want me to kiss you any more than I want to watch " Caddyshack 2" on Blu-Ray.)
1. Corn Beef & Cabbage (You like gas? enjoy.)
10. Green beer does not make the girls look any more attractive. (If someone tries to sell me another Green Coors Light I will go Columbine on someone!!)
9. Green is not everyone's color. (Okay, you are a 200 pound drunk chick. You are wearing a green hat.....I still do not want to f**k you. Nuff said!!)
8. No decent sports to bet on tonight. (Did you guys take the USA in the WBC game tonight?....Neither did I. If I cannot watch sports at a bar, then I may as well hang myself after the 30th woman tells me I am nice but not her type.)
7. The only ** in front of ANY establishment should be in front of a McDonalds. ( Every God Damn bar I walked into tonight pretended that the letters ** in front of their establishment made them Irish. That would be the equivalent of putting the name Brock in front of my real name to justify calling myself a porn star!!)
6. $6 for a Guinness...are you kidding me!!?!! ( Look, I believe in capatilism, I do. I just do not see paying $6 for a beer unless it is served by Eva Mendes topless!!)
5. Irish music sounds like somebody stepped on their cat repeatedly.( If I hear "Danny Boy" or anything by the McShanty McFeely band ONE MORE TIME I will sell all my Citbank stock which will certainly cause a freefall in the stock market. Oh, that's been done already? Fine..I will just post videos of my unshaven man parts on YouTube!!)
4. Everybody pretends to be Irish. (My friend Sean Chapin, who is 100% Italian spent the day drinking and talking in an Irish brogue accent. F**ker was lucky I left my gun at home. Imagine me walking into a Soul Food restaurant during Kwanzaa and talking jive!!?! Would I get my ass kicked? What do you think
3. Cops all are over the place (Yes, I had a couple to many. Yes my girl hates me. Yes I am feeling insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Is that a reason to arrest me on the holiest of drinking days....? I guess so. F**king cops!!)
2. Kiss Me I'm Irish Shirts are false advertising. ( I kissed a girl wearing one. She proceeded to punch me in the gut and call those pesky cops. If I hadn't had a drink with officer McCann at the previous bar an hour before, I would have been in a world of hurt. Girls, stop wearing those shirts!! You don;t want me to kiss you any more than I want to watch " Caddyshack 2" on Blu-Ray.)
1. Corn Beef & Cabbage (You like gas? enjoy.)
