Originally posted on 06/05/2020:

Quote Originally Posted by eidolon View Post
I've been blue balled, but never black balled.
I played high school baseball and once, sliding into second, I slid through the base which flew into my groin and displaced my cup. Because God hates me, a millisecond later the shortstop's cleated shoe landed DIRECTLY on my unprotected left testicle.

You know that weird, 3 second delay between getting hit in the nards and actually feeling it? Turns out that doesn't apply when your balls get cleated. I wailed like a banshee, informing the parents in attendance "HE SQUASHED MY BALLS," then an ambulance, a hospital, maybe 10 different guys handling my penis and balls on the same day -- do I still get to say I'm straight? -- followed by an overnight stay.

Did you know a testicle can swell up to about the size of a grapefruit? I sure didn't. Did you know overhearing two doctors whisper the words, "if we have to remove it" can panic the living shit out of you? Yeah, you probably could've guessed that one.