Originally posted on 09/07/2013:

***email received 9/7/13 @ 2:24pm via gmail***

9800 Savage Rd
Fort Meade, MD
(301) 688-6524

Dear BiTeMe UsAdOj,

It has recently come to our attention that you are most displeased with the Dept. of Justice and have intimated doing possible harm to its facilities along with Mr. ***** ******'s dog (of Kentucky).

While we are rooting for your success to "take out" the yapping-all-night-taking-random-dumps-on-the-neighbor's-lawn lil canine coksukker, we must remind you that any possible threats against Eric Holder and his East Coast crew (albeit even jokingly) will NOT be tolerated and will be dealt with severely.

Please be advised we have contacted Shari ******* (of Australia) and demanded she "pull a carseller" and immediately set your points balance to a negative (-) 3000 points. Please also know that this was Eric Holder's _personal_ idea and he's still laughing his ass off about it. "Let the pizza eating Walmart shoppin mutherfucker SUCK ON THAT!" were Mr. Holder's exact comments.

And while some here are sympathetic to your feelings and understand where you're coming from, please remember that Mr. Holder suffers from "J. Edgar Syndrome" so, sometimes when he's prancing around his office in a newly bought formal dress, he can be a bit vindictive.

In summation, duly note we will henceforth be monitoring your internet activity even closer than we already have been... but let it clearly state for the record that 80% here wholeheartedly agree with 95% of your porn streaming/download selections (save for the midget porn).

Sincerely,

NSA Internet Security Task Force