Originally <a href='/showthread.php?p=19519234'>posted</a> on 09/01/2013:

Lesnar punches a hole in McCall's chest, for which Mazzagatti deducts a point from McCall. Dodson flees. Creatively using McCall's corpse and Mazzagatti who appears to be trying to lick his elbow combined with his speed, Mighty Mouse is able to outstrike Lesnar 936 to 0. Lesnar gets frustrated, breaks through the cage to grab Rogan's mic and tell the audience how he is going to go penetrate his wife. Wife rushes the cage and mounts him for the final two rounds, while MM continues to strike Lesnar. Goldberg decides its time to showcase his vast knowledge of porn producers while Rogan corrects him and attempts to commentate. Judg's score the fight 45-50, 50-45, and 49-48 for Lesnar's wife. Mighty Mouse declared new heavyweight champion, UFC unable to promote upcoming match vs. Velasquez, which will come to be known as the "Most Brutal Match of Head-Bowling on Planet Earth," and goes bankrupt.

Thor declares conspiracy, MD was still on the right side, Ron Paul never bet it, and Nunya becomes the richest man in the world, having hit the Lesnar's wife by split Decision prop +2billion at an obscure sportsbook.