Here are a few things that have a better chance of happening than Newt winning presidential election:

Emily correctly picking an attack against USA.
Emily saving up enough money to leave USA.
Forsberg losing his virginity to a woman.
Bobby being on cover of GQ.
TT winning Wimbeldon.
Finding a cab in NYC that doesn't smell like otp's mom's panties.

Obama has another 4 years because Republicans had no viable candidates.