The Unknown Capper is down, but not out (of money). It was a disappointing week for the U.C. Nation, mainly because so many games looked to be in the bag, but fell apart at the last minute. All you jealous haters can say what you want, but only two of my losses were clear cut.
Oh, and to Houlihans...You should be more concerned about losing your virginity, than gloating over my bad week. BTW, I see you took my advice and got rid of you gay Texas Stadium avatar, and replaced with your new homosexual crush.
Before I start next week's thread, let's review some news from over the weekend...
BIG 12 NORTH TO USE ALL-STAR TEAM FOR BIG 12 CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
In order to make December's conference championship game more competitive, the Big 12 North Division will compile an All-star team to face the Texas Longhorns. League commissioners agreed it 'simply wasn't fair' to allow just a single team to have to play Texas on their own. In fact, none of the six B12 North teams would agree to play the game, unless the All-Star team was formed. Even though the All-star team is still being created, oddsmakers have made the early line at Texas -31.
IOWA VOLUNTARILY FORFEITS THREE EARLIER GAMES
In an unprecedented move, The Iowa Hawkeyes agreed to forfeit three earlier football games after Saturday's loss to Northwestern. "We clearly weren't as good as our ranking, so it's our duty not to make a mockery of the BCS ranking system but taking the loss for earlier games we shouldn't have won," Iowa Coach Kirk Ferentz said. The Hawkeyes will forfeit games vs. N. Iowa, Mich. St., and Indiana. "Didn't our sub-mediocre QB throw like 9 INTs vs. Indiana?" Ferentz asked. "I refuse to take credit for a win in the game." By dropping their own record to 6-4, Iowa will now be ranked 53rd, and according to Ferentz it's "where we belong."
COACH PINKEL'S KIND GESTURE COSTS MIZZOU A WIN
In a polite gesture in sympathy of the victims of Ft. Hood to nearby Baylor University, Mizzou Coach Gary Pinkel gave the Bears coaching staff his playbook at Halftime, allowing Baylor to outscore Mizzou 24-5 in the 2nd half and cruise to a victory. "I know I get paid solely to win Football games," Pinkel said, "but sometimes it's not about winning football games." Disgruntled about so many 2nd Half collapses, Mizzou alumni are said to be activity searching different pee wee football teams in hopes to find and bring back Woody Widenhofer to coach the team. Woody complied a 12-33-1 record at Mizzou in the '80s, but the upset fans said it would be a 'welcome breath of fresh air' to simply have an awful team, than a good team lose in the 2nd half all the time due to incompetent coaching.
MARK LAWRENCE ASKS FOR GOVERNMENT BAILOUT
After another 0-3 week on his key selections, Mark Lawrence is reported to be in need of a government bailout check to keep his company going. "People simply send my newsletter back to me, and I'm stuck with the return postage," Lawrence said. Circulation of his Playbook is down to 17 people, leaving 999,983 copies of the magazine left without subscribers. Rumor has it Phil Steele will also appeal for the government handout if all goes well for Lawrence. According to Steele, he hasn't had a profitable week 'in ages' and is worried about the future of the bull$hit pay-for-picks handicapping industry.
The Unknown Capper's Week 11 Fade-worthy selections Thread to begin soon. Bring it on, haters, bring it on.
Oh, and to Houlihans...You should be more concerned about losing your virginity, than gloating over my bad week. BTW, I see you took my advice and got rid of you gay Texas Stadium avatar, and replaced with your new homosexual crush.
Before I start next week's thread, let's review some news from over the weekend...
BIG 12 NORTH TO USE ALL-STAR TEAM FOR BIG 12 CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
In order to make December's conference championship game more competitive, the Big 12 North Division will compile an All-star team to face the Texas Longhorns. League commissioners agreed it 'simply wasn't fair' to allow just a single team to have to play Texas on their own. In fact, none of the six B12 North teams would agree to play the game, unless the All-Star team was formed. Even though the All-star team is still being created, oddsmakers have made the early line at Texas -31.
IOWA VOLUNTARILY FORFEITS THREE EARLIER GAMES
In an unprecedented move, The Iowa Hawkeyes agreed to forfeit three earlier football games after Saturday's loss to Northwestern. "We clearly weren't as good as our ranking, so it's our duty not to make a mockery of the BCS ranking system but taking the loss for earlier games we shouldn't have won," Iowa Coach Kirk Ferentz said. The Hawkeyes will forfeit games vs. N. Iowa, Mich. St., and Indiana. "Didn't our sub-mediocre QB throw like 9 INTs vs. Indiana?" Ferentz asked. "I refuse to take credit for a win in the game." By dropping their own record to 6-4, Iowa will now be ranked 53rd, and according to Ferentz it's "where we belong."
COACH PINKEL'S KIND GESTURE COSTS MIZZOU A WIN
In a polite gesture in sympathy of the victims of Ft. Hood to nearby Baylor University, Mizzou Coach Gary Pinkel gave the Bears coaching staff his playbook at Halftime, allowing Baylor to outscore Mizzou 24-5 in the 2nd half and cruise to a victory. "I know I get paid solely to win Football games," Pinkel said, "but sometimes it's not about winning football games." Disgruntled about so many 2nd Half collapses, Mizzou alumni are said to be activity searching different pee wee football teams in hopes to find and bring back Woody Widenhofer to coach the team. Woody complied a 12-33-1 record at Mizzou in the '80s, but the upset fans said it would be a 'welcome breath of fresh air' to simply have an awful team, than a good team lose in the 2nd half all the time due to incompetent coaching.
MARK LAWRENCE ASKS FOR GOVERNMENT BAILOUT
After another 0-3 week on his key selections, Mark Lawrence is reported to be in need of a government bailout check to keep his company going. "People simply send my newsletter back to me, and I'm stuck with the return postage," Lawrence said. Circulation of his Playbook is down to 17 people, leaving 999,983 copies of the magazine left without subscribers. Rumor has it Phil Steele will also appeal for the government handout if all goes well for Lawrence. According to Steele, he hasn't had a profitable week 'in ages' and is worried about the future of the bull$hit pay-for-picks handicapping industry.
The Unknown Capper's Week 11 Fade-worthy selections Thread to begin soon. Bring it on, haters, bring it on.