UFC 93 Breaded
The latest installment of the UFC in the UK will be taking place on Saturday, as UFC 93 comes at us from Dublin, Ireland. I will be partying it up in New Orleans this weekend, so I’ll be scouring the French Quarter for a sports bar that will be carrying the pay-per-view. By “scouring”, of course, I mean “stumbling”. God I love that town.
My belly shall be filled with a mixture of Creole and Cajun dishes at all times. The spices shall be doused with many Hurricanes, Hand Grenades, and ice cold beers. The weather will be chilly, which makes me even more giddy. I just need to stay away from that naughty casino on Canal Street. The last time I was there, I was risking an amount equal to an entire day’s blackjack losses on a single roulette spin. Black was the play, and it worked out in my favor. I quickly cashed out my new collection of purple chips and reflected on my good fortune at a rundown blues bar. I suspect that casino hasn’t forgotten me and will be prepared to exact some revenge upon my return.
Behold…The Hand Grenade!
Thank goodness there is football on Sunday, and better yet, UFC on Saturday. The difference in time zones will have the start time at 3 ET. That will probably give me a 2 PM Central start in the Big Easy. If I could have Bruce Buffer in my life everyday at 2 PM, I would.
Dan Henderson -135
Rich Franklin +115
Rich Franklin (26-3-0) is nicknamed “Ace”, which means that he would get along just fine at SBR. He could bring his friend “Pal” with him too. The demise of Rich Franklin was quite presumptuous. He can’t beat Anderson Silva (who can?), but he can do some damage on everyone else.
Franklin has never lost when he fights at 205 lbs. He is 0-2 versus Silva when he drops down, and 11-0 versus anyone else in the UFC. He comes off two impressive wins in a row over Travis Lutter and Matt Hamill, who still hasn’t heard that he lost. (And there is my quota for “jokes in bad taste” for the day. I apologize.)
Dan Henderson (23-7-0) is a beast of an opponent. After losing to two of the UFC’s best in Silva and Quinton Jackson, he ended his slide with a dominating victory over Rousimar Palhares, who is also on this card. I have to go with “Hendo” as a small favorite here. His wrestling skills and heavy hands should be enough to hand “Ace” his first 205 loss in the UFC.
Mauricio Rua -360
Mark Coleman +300
Joe Rogan calls Mark Coleman (15-8-0) the Grandfather of ground and pound. Do you really want your hard-earned money on anyone being referred to as the grandfather of anything? Sure, the guy might a UFC Hall of Famer, but he’s 44 years old now. His last fight in the UFC was in 1999. His last fight ever was in October 2006. I wasn’t even married then, and I feel like I’ve been married foreeeeevvveeerrrrrr (just kidding baby!)
Coleman is a dead ringer for Vin Diesel. Just like Diesel, the act of talking appears to be taxing for Mr. Coleman. What makes this even more ironic is the fact that he has a degree in education from Ohio State. Note to self: Keep future children out of Big 10 schools.
“Shogun” Rua (16-3-0) is a sizable favorite, but he should be a safe bet. Not just because he is 17 years younger than his opponent. And not because he was considered the best fighter in his weight class just before his loss to Forrest Griffin last year. And not because he will be seeking some revenge on Coleman from his loss to him back in ’06. Rua should be feared because he fights for his hero and inspiration, his older brother, Murilo Ninja. This could be the most fantastic fighter sibling since Dennis Alexio played Van Damme’s brother in ‘Kickboxer’. I fear Murilo Ninja. I bet on “Shogun”. I highly anticipate Coleman’s inaudible post-fight losing interview.
Can he move like me? No!
Marcus Davis -140
Chris Lytle +120
This is a destiny winner for me. Davis (20-5-0) calls himself “The Irish Hand Grenade”. If you’ve never had a Hand Grenade at a Tropical Isle in New Orleans, consider yourself lucky. I’ve seen people literally change colors after downing just two of these deadly concoctions. Sure, Davis’ nickname is somewhat politically incorrect, but I can’t wait to cash on “The Irish Hand Grenade” whilst turning shades of turquoise with Hand Grenade in hand.
Drinks with mascots are scary
In all seriousness though, Davis has become the face of the UFC’s UK events. He has participated in the last five, posting a record of 4-1, losing only to Mike Swick at UFC 85 in London. He is proud of his Irish heritage and puts on a great show for the local hooligans.
Since Rua last fought in September ’07, Lytle (36-16-4) has been in the Octagon four times. The guy is an overworked journeyman. Lytle has lost to a who’s who type list: Josh Koscheck, Thiago Alves, Matt Hughes, Matt Serra, Joe Riggs, Karo Parisyan and Robbie Lawler. He has beaten several guys who I have never heard of. Unfortunately, I have heard of Marcus Davis. Hand Grenades for everyone.
Rousimar Palhares -350
Jeremy Horn +250
Palhares (17-2-0) should have little trouble finding redemption against Jeremy Horn (88-18-5). Palhares was beat up in his last bout against Dan Henderson. Horn has lost two in a row to Dean Lister and Nate Marquardt. The spread is high but the risk is little. Besides, if I lose a wager to a guy who looks like Jeremy Horn, I’m heading straight down to Canal Street and putting $500 on Black. Things couldn’t possibly get any worse at that point, right??
Jeremy Horn. Yikes.
You just said that!
I am laughing with disgust.
