We know it isn't easy, Cuse. I don't have the answers for you, but you said you didn't want to let down the people that have supported you here. But you are the one that is going to have to fight.
You know this is going to be a fight, so get the fighters mindset and be ready to battle every hour of every day.
Hopefully after a few days or so it becomes easier and easier.
Take the positive advice from here and the positive progress you have made over the last few months and build off of it.
Find some things you can do to take your mind off of it a bit. Maybe excessive excersise even in the hell that is a florida summer.
Maybe if you physically exhaust yourself it will make it a bit easier.
Good luck buddy. You have a lot of people rooting for you.