Worried

I'm not feeling well at all. I've been really uptight and stressed lately, and I'm not sure why. I just lose my temper quickly and suddenly want to punch stuff or throw things. Today, I wasn't paying attention and almost got into a wreck with someone on the road. My immediate reaction was to just hit myself in the head. I must have hit myself like 15 times in a row before finally stopping myself. It didn't hurt that much at the time, but I've had this terrible headache for a few hours now.

This isn't the first time I've done this. I've hit myself in the head a lot in recent years, usually when I make a mistake in traffic or fukk up with something that is work-related. I'm not sure if I've done any damage, but maybe this is somehow related to the increase in impatience and anger I feel. I am an emotional wreck, and living without any sort of social life has forced me to repress my emotions and keep all of this stuff to myself (save for some depressing posts on SBR).

I am feeling more and more overwhelmed by life lately. It's not like anything horrible is going on in my life, but I can't seem to keep myself from constantly dreading simple things like sitting in traffic, falling behind with work on a given day or week or running errands. Nothing quite feels right. I never feel "well" or happy. I never have fun.

Some days, I just want to sleep and do nothing else, but that's not a possibility. I think it would be good to take a little vacation, but my occupation doesn't work that way. I'm self-employed and contract my services out to people and companies, so I don't get health benefits or paid vacation. I could afford to go a week or two without pay, but I never want to take a break because my clients would not understand. Besides, it's not like I have anything else going on in my life. I kind of need work to briefly get my mind off my lack of friends, etc.

I don't think it's my job or my daily routine that's creating this overwhelming feeling. Everything I'm missing out on in life is starting to beat me into submission, though. I know I am wasting my life, and I just wish I could take my existence and give it to someone who is far more deserving -- someone who would do so much more with a life like mine.

I wish I could say I need help, but I honestly believe I'm beyond help at this point. The good news is I know I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself at this point. I'd like to think it will take at least a couple more years of this inner-angst to push me to the brink.

I know this post is far too long for anyone to read, and I'm sure not a single one of you truly gives a shit. I just had to type this out. I find writing to be therapeutic at times, and I have to put some of my thoughts down in front of me to shake off some of the negative emotions.

The main purpose of the thread? I want to know if hitting myself in the head could be the main reason behind my increasingly short temper. Should I let a doctor examine my head and check for any sort of damage? It's not like I was getting kicked in the head by a cleet or playing football and taking helmet-to-helmet contact. I don't think anything serious could arise from occasionally smacking myself in the head for being an idiot, right?

Please refrain from the "seeking therapy" comments. I already see a therapist on occasion, but I don't have enough trust for this person to tell them about my self-harm habits. I don't want the doctor to put me on some weird pills or overreact to this sort of thing. I'm well enough to know I'm not well ... if that makes sense.

Cousin of mine was hitting himself in the head and a cat-scan revealed he had a blood clotting problem where minor aneurisms where developing. Let untreated, these aneurisms can explode and cause you an excruciatingly painful death. Get some blood work and x-rays immediately. GL.

Parlay is this post serious? I think I read another one of your posts in the saloon and I honestly think your joking around?? My sarcastic meter typically is in decent working order but I just cannot tell if this is truthful or a massive troll.

You'd have to be punching yourself pretty fukkin hard for a while to do any real damage.

Originally Posted by ParlayininHTown

I'm not feeling well at all. I've been really uptight and stressed lately, and I'm not sure why. I just lose my temper quickly and suddenly want to punch stuff or throw things. Today, I wasn't paying attention and almost got into a wreck with someone on the road. My immediate reaction was to just hit myself in the head. I must have hit myself like 15 times in a row before finally stopping myself. It didn't hurt that much at the time, but I've had this terrible headache for a few hours now.

This isn't the first time I've done this. I've hit myself in the head a lot in recent years, usually when I make a mistake in traffic or fukk up with something that is work-related. I'm not sure if I've done any damage, but maybe this is somehow related to the increase in impatience and anger I feel. I am an emotional wreck, and living without any sort of social life has forced me to repress my emotions and keep all of this stuff to myself (save for some depressing posts on SBR).

I am feeling more and more overwhelmed by life lately. It's not like anything horrible is going on in my life, but I can't seem to keep myself from constantly dreading simple things like sitting in traffic, falling behind with work on a given day or week or running errands. Nothing quite feels right. I never feel "well" or happy. I never have fun.

Some days, I just want to sleep and do nothing else, but that's not a possibility. I think it would be good to take a little vacation, but my occupation doesn't work that way. I'm self-employed and contract my services out to people and companies, so I don't get health benefits or paid vacation. I could afford to go a week or two without pay, but I never want to take a break because my clients would not understand. Besides, it's not like I have anything else going on in my life. I kind of need work to briefly get my mind off my lack of friends, etc.

I don't think it's my job or my daily routine that's creating this overwhelming feeling. Everything I'm missing out on in life is starting to beat me into submission, though. I know I am wasting my life, and I just wish I could take my existence and give it to someone who is far more deserving -- someone who would do so much more with a life like mine.

I wish I could say I need help, but I honestly believe I'm beyond help at this point. The good news is I know I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself at this point. I'd like to think it will take at least a couple more years of this inner-angst to push me to the brink.

I know this post is far too long for anyone to read, and I'm sure not a single one of you truly gives a shit. I just had to type this out. I find writing to be therapeutic at times, and I have to put some of my thoughts down in front of me to shake off some of the negative emotions.

The main purpose of the thread? I want to know if hitting myself in the head could be the main reason behind my increasingly short temper. Should I let a doctor examine my head and check for any sort of damage? It's not like I was getting kicked in the head by a cleet or playing football and taking helmet-to-helmet contact. I don't think anything serious could arise from occasionally smacking myself in the head for being an idiot, right?

Please refrain from the "seeking therapy" comments. I already see a therapist on occasion, but I don't have enough trust for this person to tell them about my self-harm habits. I don't want the doctor to put me on some weird pills or overreact to this sort of thing. I'm well enough to know I'm not well ... if that makes sense.

Stop hitting yourself in the head.

Go get checked out. Get a physical and cat scan and blood work.

Go out to bars and clubs to get back in the game and feeling normal.

Start working out in the early mornings.

Eat organic foods.

You'll feel better.

You're seeing a therapist but not telling them the full story? Either tell them what is really going on or stop going. Just sounds like depression to me. Eat better exercise force yourself to be more social and eventually the anxiety of social interaction will ease. Join some type of group with something you have an interest in like hiking, yoga or under water basket weaving...whatever your into.

Originally Posted by PhillyFlyers

Stop hitting yourself in the head.

Go get checked out. Get a physical and cat scan and blood work.

Go out to bars and clubs to get back in the game and feeling normal.

Start working out in the early mornings.

Eat organic foods.

You'll feel better.

Exactly this. Get your diet in check - did you know that most of your serotonin is produced in your gut? Start eating better. And definitely hit the gym - every single day for an hour. Don't tell me you don't have an hour to work out, either.

Originally Posted by ParlayininHTown

I'm not feeling well at all. I've been really uptight and stressed lately, and I'm not sure why. I just lose my temper quickly and suddenly want to punch stuff or throw things. Today, I wasn't paying attention and almost got into a wreck with someone on the road. My immediate reaction was to just hit myself in the head. I must have hit myself like 15 times in a row before finally stopping myself. It didn't hurt that much at the time, but I've had this terrible headache for a few hours now.

This isn't the first time I've done this. I've hit myself in the head a lot in recent years, usually when I make a mistake in traffic or fukk up with something that is work-related. I'm not sure if I've done any damage, but maybe this is somehow related to the increase in impatience and anger I feel. I am an emotional wreck, and living without any sort of social life has forced me to repress my emotions and keep all of this stuff to myself (save for some depressing posts on SBR).

I am feeling more and more overwhelmed by life lately. It's not like anything horrible is going on in my life, but I can't seem to keep myself from constantly dreading simple things like sitting in traffic, falling behind with work on a given day or week or running errands. Nothing quite feels right. I never feel "well" or happy. I never have fun.

Some days, I just want to sleep and do nothing else, but that's not a possibility. I think it would be good to take a little vacation, but my occupation doesn't work that way. I'm self-employed and contract my services out to people and companies, so I don't get health benefits or paid vacation. I could afford to go a week or two without pay, but I never want to take a break because my clients would not understand. Besides, it's not like I have anything else going on in my life. I kind of need work to briefly get my mind off my lack of friends, etc.

I don't think it's my job or my daily routine that's creating this overwhelming feeling. Everything I'm missing out on in life is starting to beat me into submission, though. I know I am wasting my life, and I just wish I could take my existence and give it to someone who is far more deserving -- someone who would do so much more with a life like mine.

I wish I could say I need help, but I honestly believe I'm beyond help at this point. The good news is I know I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself at this point. I'd like to think it will take at least a couple more years of this inner-angst to push me to the brink.

I know this post is far too long for anyone to read, and I'm sure not a single one of you truly gives a shit. I just had to type this out. I find writing to be therapeutic at times, and I have to put some of my thoughts down in front of me to shake off some of the negative emotions.

The main purpose of the thread? I want to know if hitting myself in the head could be the main reason behind my increasingly short temper. Should I let a doctor examine my head and check for any sort of damage? It's not like I was getting kicked in the head by a cleet or playing football and taking helmet-to-helmet contact. I don't think anything serious could arise from occasionally smacking myself in the head for being an idiot, right?

Please refrain from the "seeking therapy" comments. I already see a therapist on occasion, but I don't have enough trust for this person to tell them about my self-harm habits. I don't want the doctor to put me on some weird pills or overreact to this sort of thing. I'm well enough to know I'm not well ... if that makes sense.

I am also in HTown. What is your ethicity...I am Indian...

Originally Posted by ravitri2k

I am also in HTown. What is your ethicity...I am Indian...

unless you're a hot Indian chick, Parlayin is not interested.

sbr.match.com

Thanks for the feedback, guys. I will look into making changes to my diet, but I don't know how to cook much. Do you have suggestions for healthy meals that are easy to prepare?

Also, the gym thing is kind of tough. I work days sometimes. I work nights sometimes. I'm all over the place with my work schedule because of the nature of my work, so it would be hard to commit to working out at a set time every day. I guess I could get a membership somewhere and start off slow. I don't know whether the people I talk to about the membership are going to try to push other crap on me, though. If they try that shit, I will feel uncomfortable and not want to get a membership there.

I can't go to the bars and socialize. I don't really drink. I don't like the taste of alcohol, but more importantly, I promised myself I would drink only on rare occasions after seeing what alcohol did to my father.

I don't want to try dating web sites, because you have to bust your ass on there just to get a reply from a woman. These chicks have so many dudes coming at them, so it just seems kind of pointless. I'm not into hard work when it comes to the ladies TBH. I know I'm going to fail in most instances anyway.

I wish weed wasn't such an non-sociable thing (in terms of going out in public, etc.), because I'd really like to meet a woman who likes to smoke and isn't into going out and partying a lot. I don't want to quit smoking at any point, and I feel that a friendship or relationship with someone who doesn't smoke is tough to maintain. I'm an introvert, so I kind of need to start off slow in the social department. Bars and clubs are just seem like too much for my inept social skills.

I really appreciate the replies. Please keep them coming.

Originally Posted by TheGoldenGoose

Cousin of mine was hitting himself in the head and a cat-scan revealed he had a blood clotting problem where minor aneurisms where developing. Let untreated, these aneurisms can explode and cause you an excruciatingly painful death. Get some blood work and x-rays immediately. GL.

wish you hadnt shared that. Now i will be paranoid

Parlaying H Town,

Dude stop hitting your self.

Make an appt with a psychiatrist.

They can give you some valium or xannax
but dont take it and drive afterward.

As far as smoking weed. I highly recommend it.

Get your self a nice bong or vaporizer , it will make it easier on your lungs.

Maybe get an asian massage

Plenty of women are down with blazing and will bang u without being drunk..

maybe try a + size woman if your striking out with the perfect 10's

A + size woman is also known as a "slump buster" and will do wonders
for your self esteem.

Good luck and take a deep breath. Maybe try Yoga too

Originally Posted by Russian Rocket

unless you're a hot Indian chick, Parlayin is not interested.

Id be more concerned if you felt dizzy/nauseated/felt sick. You just seem to be uptight, i doubt that is because of a head injury.
Here in UK with your symptoms its unlikely they will even send you for tests, but sure go see the doctor if it puts your mind at ease.

Dont you have any cousins/family you could visit? even if you dont - I dont really see anything wrong with going to a place you want to visit, booking yourself in a nice hotel and enjoying the time off - by yourself?
Gotta be better than hitting yourself in the head, no?