Quck help please...anyone whose literate

Am i wording this properly? I know we have a few gentleman and woman scholers on here...help me out please below:


I have all the experience you are looking for, and more as I have a Bachelor of the Arts Degree from Rider University in Communications.


Is that comma placed correctly??? and do I say Bachelor of the arts degree??? or as I have a Bachelor's Arts degree....i'm feeling a lil clumsy right now and i'm submitting a resume to a few places...obviously english was not my major

Thanks

That comma is not placed correctly. The comma would be placed after more.

Correct: Bachelor of Arts

That said, I don't think you will be getting the job.

comma is fine......get rid of the "and more"

Also tell them you have never taken a shitt on company time.

or is this the best way???

I have all the experience you are looking for along with a Bachelor of Arts Degree from Rider University in Communications.

Originally Posted by EDDIE MONEY LINE

or is this the best way???

I have all the experience you are looking for along with a Bachelor's of the Arts Degree from Rider University in Communications.

I like this better.

Has a degree but doesn't know where the comma goes...

Welcome to the new America!!!!!

Deuce, that college conspiracy video is looking more and more believable....

Originally Posted by EDDIE MONEY LINE

or is this the best way???

I have all the experience you are looking for along with a Bachelor of Arts Degree from Rider University in Communications.

What is the context? This statement just makes you look like a retard. No, I wouldn't put it that way.

The 2nd one is definitely better.

That being said, I think you could word this whole thing considerably better. If you're serious about this resume, pm me. I have some resources I could give you that might help.

if this comes across my desk, i will rip it up

good luck!

Originally Posted by Iced

That comma is not placed correctly. The comma would be placed after more. Correct: Bachelor of Arts That said, I don't think you will be getting the job.

Both these corrections

ok...before I send it here it is...let me know

anyone in HR out there???? Does this sound cheesy or is it attention grabbing???


Good evening,

You described me in your sales consultant job posting in the Sunday Times Union so I have attached a pdf and word file of my resume for your viewing pleasure. Although currently employed I am looking to work for a company that has opportunities for career growth. I have all the experience you are looking for along with a Bachelor of Arts Degree from Rider University in Communications. I hope to hear from you soon regarding an interview for this position. I can be reached at......(can't let u sick fuks know...haha).

Sincerly,


Eddie Money Line

Originally Posted by EDDIE MONEY LINE

ok...before I send it here it is...let me know

anyone in HR out there???? Does this sound cheesy or is it attention grabbing???


Good evening,

You described me in your sales consultant job posting in the Sunday Times Union so I have attached a pdf and word file of my resume for your viewing pleasure. Although currently employed I am looking to work for a company that has opportunities for career growth. I have all the experience you are looking for along with a Bachelor of Arts Degree from Rider University in Communications. I hope to hear from you soon regarding an interview for this position. I can be reached at......(can't let u sick fuks know...haha).

Sincerly,


Eddie Money Line

Jesus Christ.

Shoot opie a PM. You need some serious help.

this isn't a cover letter or anything, just going to be the body of email I send...is it alright???

Originally Posted by EDDIE MONEY LINE

or is this the best way??? I have all the experience you are looking for along with a Bachelor of Arts Degree from Rider University in Communications.

This is way better.


But I don't like the "I have all the experience you are looking for" Why not just list what you've done which relates to the position you're looking to get into.


But then again I'm guessing this is just an email sent to the company, and all the info on your "experience" is listed in the resume. If that's the case it looks good then.