The first round of the NFL Draft will take place Thursday night, and speculation abounds concerning everything from which team will trade up to which team will screw up. Below are a few draft props we'd like the NFL odds makers to include.
Ah, so let's take a look at the collective braintrusts involved in this year's top five. The perennial cellar-dwelling Cleveland Browns followed by the 49ers, Bears, Jaguars and Titans. Allow me to put into perspective just how bad these franchises truly are. The St. Louis Rams have more Super Bowl wins than all of these teams combined over the last 20 years and they're NOT EVEN IN ST. LOUIS ANYMORE! So to answer the question, yes, one of these brilliant GMs will pull the trigger on a deal that will ultimately result in a net loss for that particular franchise. It's simply the natural order of things so lay the juice. Yes -130.
Players Attending the 1st Round Of Draft?
Over 18 (-900)
Under 18 (+800)
Who in their right mind would lay -900 on over 18 NFL eligible draftees to be in attendance? I mean seriously, it's absurd especially when you can get a return of +800 on the under. These kids don't go to these things anymore, anyway. What's that you say? The NFL just released the names of the 22 players who will be attending the first round Thursday night? I guess being a chalk eater has its benefits. 'Over' 18 (-900).
Criers On The Podium
Over 3 ½ (+140)
Under 3 ½ (-160)
I guess I'm always glad to see big, strapping men cry. It makes me feel a little more manly about myself, but truth be told if I was getting a golden ticket punched that would turn me from a poor college kid into a multimillion dollar "playa" then I too might shed a few tears. But the tears really end in the first five or 10 selections. After that, the only waterworks you're likely to see are tears of agony watching all those millions of dollars being peeled away as those drafted before are called to the podium. I'm calling for this year's draft class to be the strong, silent type. 'Under' 3½ (-160).
Political Or Social Statement From Draftee
If you're on Facebook or Twitter, you know that moaning has been elevated to an art form . The NFL Draft is the perfect place to reveal one's artistry, and ESPN has become a bastion for liberal causes so it all makes sense that there will be at least one 20-year-old telling the world what we don't know. I am wetting myself in anticipation of how much I am going to learn from a giant man-child willing to dispense a few pearls of wisdom onto the barren wasteland that is my intellect. Yes (-190).
Will Any Draftees' Names Be Mispronounced?
So the big names we know. Those projected at the top of the first round are household names, so no issues there. However, wrap your mouths around the names Chidobe Awuzie, Tre'Davious White, Takkarist McKinley, Haason Reddick, Obi Melinfonwu or Kevin King (just making sure you're paying attention). You would think every name has been practiced, but when the pressure is on and the name is called, anything can happen. Yes (+130).
Will Roger Goodell Get Booed?
Yes (-All the Tea in China)
No (+ All the Tea in China)
Goodell has all the warmth of a homicide detective coupled with the charm of an IRS agent. In a parallel universe where puppies ride on the backs of rainbow-colored unicorns and fried chicken is considered diet food, there is a beloved Roger Goodell where millions of football fans hang on his every word and reverentially speak the Gospel according to Roger. But until we find that dimension in space and time, Goodell is easy to hate and it is our responsibility to remind him of that. Yes (-All the Tea in China).
Real NFL Draft Props
If you want your NFL picks to count on draft night there are plenty of A-rated offshore sportsbooks offering some very unique and tantalizing prop bets. Yes, the NFL odds board will be lit up and below are listed only a few of the many NFL draft props that can be had at top-notch books like BetOnline.
Draft Position of Deshaun Watson: 12 ½ (U-145)
Draft Position Of Patrick Mahomes: 24 ½ (U-170)
Number Of Alabama Players Selected in 1st Round: 4 ½ (O-120)
Number Of Quarterbacks Selected in 1st Round: 3 ½ (U-220/O+170)
Number Of Wide Receivers Selected in 1st Round: 2 ½ (O-350/U+260)