NCAA Tournament Experts Tear Apart President Obama's 'Chalky' Bracket Predictions

Swinging Johnson

Thursday, March 19, 2015 12:36 PM UTC

Thursday, Mar. 19, 2015 12:36 PM UTC

It seems everyone gets the fever this time of year including our Commander-in-Chief when it comes to March Madness but is it possible that the POTUS can help us with our NCAA basketball picks and bracket selections?

The Obama Bracket

The Commander in Chief. The Leader of the Free World. Millions trust you to make well thought out decisions based off of your endless supply of classified information, top level assistants, and this was the best you could come up with?

While Huey Lewis and the News reminds us all that is sometimes ‘Hip to be a Square’, that is not the case in the sports betting world, and it seems that your approach to bracketology is about as aggressive as your war against terrorism.

You are couldn't have been chalkier with his NCAA Tournament picks as he has three number one seeds making it to the Final Four with only Arizona making an entrance as a number two seed emerging from the West region.

Thus our esteemed leader has two clowders of Wildcats squaring off in Kentucky and Arizona with Kentucky winning the day and facing off against the battle of number one seeds in Villanova and Duke. And would you believe that per our Commander a third band of Wildcats hailing from the University of Villanova that will emanate from the other side of the bracket to square off against the seemingly invincible Cats from Kentucky.

Now it is not unusual for a politician to try desperately to be aligned with a front runner but Obama outdid himself here. And in typical political fashion he even made sure that two schools were from red states and two from the true blue Keystone state of Pennsylvania...just don't mention the pipeline.

Mr. Obama's biggest upsets originate from the Midwest and East regions where he predicts that #12 Buffalo will upset #5 West Virginia and #12 Wyoming will defeat #5 Northern Iowa. After that it is a predictably drab bracket with no Cinderella stories or fairytales to be told unlike Benghazi, "you can keep your doctor and your current health plan" and "I did not have sexual relations with that woman"...sorry, wrong president.

Barack Obama is nothing if not an advocate for egalitarianism which is a euphemism for socialism but I digress. Thus he declared that upon Kentucky winning the NCAA tournament that the trophy would be shred into 64 pieces and given out to the other schools so everyone's a winner. He also revealed he was going to share former Secretary-of-State Hillary Clinton's bracket but unfortunately she used her own personal email for that task.



Dick Vitale - The King of College Basketball

Super Dick planted a big fat wet one on the lips of Kentucky mama Ashley Judd before the Wildcats SEC Conference Championship game the other night and the last time he smiled that wide he actually had teeth. But as any college hoops fan know, Vitale is the eternal cheerleader for the college game and he brings an unbridled passion that can either inspire or annoy you. I am firmly entrenched in the former camp as anyone in his mid-70's who gets that excited about anything other than a regular bowel movement has my complete and utter respect.

Let's take a peek at Dicky V's bracket and just maybe all that enthusiasm and knowledge will translate into some winners in our March Madness tournament picks.

There's not a whole lot to see here in terms of upsets. We all want those Cinderella's to stray past midnight and not turn into pumpkins but Dicky V is having none of it as he has selected the South region's number two seed Gonzaga over number the two seed from the East region, Virginia. He maintains the Kentucky Wildcats will be the only top seed in the Final Four when they thrash the West region's number two seed Arizona.

Ultimately he sees a showdown between the Wildcats and the Bulldogs and naturally our boisterous septuagenarian sides, like virtually everyone, with John Calipari and the Wildcats.  Thus, it's easy to see why the oddsmakers are pinning 6-5 NCAA Tournament odds to win it all on the Cats and all the squares will be happy with the return. That includes you Mr. President!


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