March Madness Monkey Business | Monkeys Do Bracket and ATS Picks

SBR Staff

Wednesday, March 16, 2016 8:58 PM UTC

Wednesday, Mar. 16, 2016 8:58 PM UTC

Having trouble with your March Madness bracket? Well, SBR has Tasked our Capping Monkeys to make winning bracket selections! Monkey See Monkey Do!

It’s  that time of year again … Bracket Season! Most of the people in the United States will be drawing up at least one bracket, and millions of us will be drawing up several! 

But people are the only ones who are going to picking a bracket this year. We have seen it before with single game picks, such as the Super Bowl and the World Cup Finals, but we have never seen an animal go through the entire first round of the NCAAM Basketball Tournament … the first 64 teams of “March Madness”

So being in Costa Rica, we thought … what do we have at our disposal and not only that, but what animal has the intelligence, plus mental and physical constitution to select 32 games?

Monkeys. Rather, four monkeys.

So we got a hold of the local animal refuge who just happened to have four ready, willing and able monkeys … one for each region on a per round basis. We set up team flags that are an equal distance apart, each one loaded with the same exact tasty treat. The flags are presented at even reaching distance and whichever flag (or treat from a flag) is pulled first is dubbed the winner!  

Also, to make things even more interesting, we have one of our furry, little human-like friends give us 4 Bonus Spread Picks on short-spread games to hit your favorite sportsbook with!  We received picks on: Dayton vs. Syracuse, Wisconsin vs. Pitt. Gonzaga vs. Seton Hall  & Colorado vs. UConn.

The Round of 64 March Madness Bracket Picks

Nala The Monkey Picking The East Region

1. North Carolina vs. Florida Gulf Coast - Pick North Carolina
Nala immediately reaches out for UNC without hesitation, for the Tar Heels to move into the next round.

2. USC vs. Providence - Pick USC
After a weak reach for both flags, Nala settles on USC as the winner.

3.  Indiana vs. Chattanooga - Pick Chattanooga
This could be the first ‘Bracket Buster’! Our monkey took Chattanooga as her initial pick, but she came back and took the Indiana flag, so this could be anyone’s game! Even if you still put Indiana down on your bracket, look for Chattanooga to cover those 12 points on the betting lines!

4. Kentucky vs. Stony Brook - Pick Kentucky
Nala unceremoniously chose Kentucky … like it was the obvious choice. Maybe this monkey knows what’s up?

5. Notre Dame vs. Michigan - Pick Michigan
Oh, my! This is a big move and I take back my previous statement … Nala has Notre Dame getting eliminated in the first round one … and not even by a Cinderella hopeful like Wichita State or Fresno State.

6.  West Virginia vs. S.F. Austin - Pick S.F. Austin
Ok … So I can see one or two big upsets in one region … but three? This is just bananas. Maybe she inhaled too many gas fumes in that auto shop!

7.  Wisconsin vs. Pitt - Pick Wisconsin
After some bickering with another monkey over who would pick the outcome of the Wisconsin-Pitt game, Nala holds her ground and takes Wisky with authority!

8. Xavier vs. Weber State - Pick Weber State
So we had to hold true to the black white rules of either first fruit or first flag to come off … so the official SBR March Madness Monkey Business pick is Weber State. However, we really think she was trying to tell us something by taking the fruit from Weber State quickly and then coming back to take only the flag belonging to Xavier! Look for Weber State to cover the first half number, but Xavier to come out really strong in the second have and win the game.


El Guapo The Monkey Picking The Mid-West Region

1.  Virginia vs. Hampton - Pick UVA
El Guapo (the handsome one) shows no doubt that Virginia will absolutely smoke Hampton.

2. Texas Tech vs. Butler - Pick Butler
By the look of this Monkey Business, Texas Tech, and Butler will be a tough game. Originally leaning towards picking Tech, El Guapo ended up making up his mind on #9 Butler to move into the next round.

3. Purdue vs. Little Rock - Pick Little Rock

And the handsome, baby monkey picks his first crazy upset! NCAAB Odds Makers have Purdue favored by 9 points, but El Guapo is calling for an outright win by the Little Rock Trojans (Not Spartans)!

4. Iowa State vs. Iona - Pick Iowa State 
This one was a no-brainer, as our monkey takes Iowa State with confidence.

5. Seton Hall vs. Gonzaga - Pick The Zags
If our little furry counterpart’s behavior is any indicator, this one will be close, but with the Zags edging out Seton Hall and moving on in the Big Dance.

6. Utah vs. Fresno State - Pick Fresno State
Has this little guy been watching the pundits talk about the most likely Cinderella teams? ‘Cuz he is calling for a big upset in taking the Bulldogs here!

7. Dayton vs. Syracuse - Pick Syracuse
Of course, he went with the fruit … he’s a monkey and he likes the Orange.

8. Michigan State vs. Middle Tennessee - Pick Middle Tenn.
El Guapo has gone bananas and this pick has me seriously questioning this lower primate's judgement. But hey, he likes the Blue Raiders to make possibly the BIGGEST upset of the tournament (in this first round).

According to a Bunch of Monkeys,This is What the Round of 32 On Your March Madness Bracket Should Look Like


Jorge The Monkey Picking the South Region

1. Kansas vs. Austin Peay - Pick Kansas
Jorge is the self-proclaimed NCAAB expert of the group and even though this has yet to be put to the test, his sure-handed pick on the Jayhawks has me wondering if the hype is true.

2. Uconn vs. Colorado - Pick Connecticut
Jorge jumps out and eagerly takes the UCONN flag and has me wondering if he was listening to our earlier NCAAB Odds Couple Show Podcast or perhaps watching our Live, Daily Periscopes!

3. Maryland vs. South Dakota State - Maryland
Although Jorge took Maryland to move on in the tourney, this may be a game to keep an eye on. The spread opened at 8 ½ points in favor of Maryland (obviously) and has since moved to 9 ½ and even 10 at some betting outlets. He really took his time with this pick so look for a Jack Rabbits cover if this number grows any bigger!

4. California vs. Hawaii - Pick Hawaii 
There was no doubt about who Jorge thinks will win this one. Rainbow Warriors all the way!

5. Arizona vs. Wichita State - Pick the Shockers
This pick is a shocking upset story!  And it also has me believing that this monkey has been watching recent basketball commentators as he is right in line with the Cinderella-Watch! 

6. Miami FL. vs. Buffalo -  Pick Buffalo
Oh my goodness! We have a ridiculously upset prediction here … so far this guy has been pretty darn spot-on (IMHO). Is there a method to his madness?
7.  Iowa vs. Temple - Pick Temple
This was another cautious pick made by Jorge … this game will be a nail-biter, but Jorge El Curioso is taking Temple to move on.

8. Villanova vs. UNC Ashville - Pick Villanova
Wow! This monkey knows his basketball! He actually moved away from the front of the two flags and repositioned himself to get a better angle on Villanova! Coming at the flag from the side, he is dead-sure that Villanova is going to drop bombs on UNC Ashville!


Teresita The Monkey Picking the West Region

1. Oregon vs. Holy Cross - Pick Oregon
Teresita took a bit of time but went with the #1 seed, Oregon. 

2. Saint Joseph’s vs. Cincinnati - Pick Cincy 
Keep your eye on St. Joes when they play Cincinnati because ‘Tere Covers’ was really unsure about the outcome of this game before finally settling on the Bearcats.

3.  Baylor vs. Yale - Pick Baylor
Our Furry friend was all over Baylor on this one! So, you can safely move the Bears one slot over on your NCAAB Bracket.

4. Duke vs. UNC Wilmington  - Pick UNCW
Tere LOVES a crazy upset here with UNC Wilmington pushing past Duke to move into the next round!

5. Texas vs. Northern Iowa - Pick N. Iowa

At first, it looked like our resident primate would take the Longhorns, but a last second change of heart has her taking two upsets in a row … though this one is quite plausible.

6. Texas A&M vs. Green Bay - Pick Green Bay
Ok … so this is just ridiculous!  If Green Bay actually takes out aTm, it would truly be Monkey Business. Or ... this is just one clueless monkey!

7. Oregon State vs. VCU - Pick VCU
'Tere Covers' slowed down for this one, which leads us to believe that this could be a very close game. However, in the end, she went with a VCU victory for your March Madness bracket.

8. Oklahoma vs. Cal State Bakersfield - Pick Oklahoma
Maybe this little monkey has a few points on her IQ because she smashed her way to an Oklahoma grab, like you'd be stupid to push Cal State Bakersfield over on your bracket!\

Bonus March Madness Monkey ATS Picks By 'Tere Covers'

Take: Colorado +3, Syracuse as a Pick 'Em, Wisconsin -1.5, and Gonzaga +1.5

Be sure to tune in next week for SBR's March Madness Monkey Business Bracket Picks on the Round of 32! We'll be checking their bracket and ATS records!

In all seriousness, the does so much for animal rescue and conservation in Costa Rica and these particular white faced capuchin monkeys did come from very sad backgrounds and cannot be released back into the wild. However, they work hard as ambassadors to the public in a country that though, is definitely developing and more aware than many, still has quite a few people who are ignorant to the severity of man's impact on nature and the things we can do as individuals to help mitigate this impact. 

These friendly guys help with everything from educational field trips to the animal refuge for school kids, to presentations on conservation for the general public ... but they and the countless other animals at the refuge are expensive to maintain, so ever single dollar helps. You can securely donate to the refuge here through PayPal link provided below, and definitely should if these guys help you win your office pool or make you a few bucks on these spread picks!

 ^ Click 'Donate' to Securely Donate and Help Keep the Animal Refuge Afloat! ^ Or Send Them Some Pocket Change Via Their Website -> The Costa Rican Animal Refuge 

If you are in Costa Rica and want to visit the monkeys and other animals at this refuge, the address is: San Jose, Santa Ana, Alto de Las Palomas, Refugio Herpetologico

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