Holy crap, what is this on our TV?
If you didn’t see “The Masked Singer’ on Fox Wednesday night, do yourself a ridiculous favor check it out OnDemand or on the internet — but fix yourself a really stiff drink first.
It is a competition show that is one-part karaoke, one-part cosplay and two-parts LSD trip. This train-wreck of a show is the warped sister of a South Korean competition TV series called “King of Masked Singer’ where Ryan Reynolds sang “Tomorrow’ from “Annie’ dressed as a Unicorn during a “Deadpool” press tour.
Four celebrity judges — Robin Thicke, Jenny McCarthy Wahlberg, Nicole Scherzinger and Ken Jeong — watch grown adults in elaborate costumes, sing songs and try and guess who is behind the mask.
The singers perform in pairs and after an audience vote, one is sent through to the next week’s contest and the other is sent to the bleachers – possibly to be unmasked at the end of the episode. This week the big reveal was Pittsburgh Steelers receiver Antonio Brown, who isn’t going to the Super Bowl this year either, but more on that later.
Host Nick Cannon is the ringmaster of this bizarre circus.
Before each singer performs, there is a small video clip that offers clues to the mystery person’s identity.
On Wednesday night, the pairings were a Peacock vs. Hippo; Monster vs. Unicorn; and Deer vs. Lion. Yeah, we know how weird that sounds but you didn’t have to type it like we did.
Think of it as a live game of Clue but not Col. Mustard in the Conservatory with a knife. More like, The person behind the Peacock mask singing “This is the Greatest Show’ is WARNING POSSIBLE SPOILER AHEAD …. WE’RE NOT KIDDING … DON’T BLAME US – Donny Osmond.
For us, it’s not even a guess. We had about 100 posters of the former teen idol on the walls of our South Dakota bedroom – The Peacock is the man who is a little bit rock ‘n’ roll. The hints: was first on stage at age 5 (he joined his brothers on “The Andy Williams Show’ at age 5), “your mom’ had his posters on her walls (guilty as charged); he was good friends with Michael Jackson (uh, yeah) and the masked character was holding a plastic dog (his hit song “Puppy Love’).
With each new masked singer, Twitter was ablaze with guesses and reasons behind the choices. Which reminds us, it is Donny with a “Y’ not and “IE’ … that was annoying the hell out of us. Get it right, Tweeters!
The Peacock’s competition in his pairing was a guy dressed as a Minecraft-looking Hippo in silver puffy jacket singing “My Perogative.’ The performer was no Bobby Brown and he got the fewest votes at the end of the night, which meant his mask was coming off.
Before the reveal, judges deduced he was an athlete-wannabe-singer. His clues included a love of pancakes and he liked bowling. Judges’ guesses were footballers Deion Sanders or Odell Beckham Jr. and basketball player Alan Iverson.
The Hippo was Antonio Brown, who apparently has a flair for drama, having been benched by the Steelers in its last game of the season after a fight with QB Ben Roethlisberger and possibly now asking to be traded.
The clues referred to his love of massive breakfasts and liking “bowling'”was a nod to the Super Bowl.
Other performers during the evening, who all move forward to next week’s competition, AND our guesses who they are:
Monster: looked like a creature from “Monster’s Inc.’; sang Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now;’ hints: has a naughty reputation, took a break from the public eye and “retreated to a cave.’ Our guess: T-Pain.
Unicorn: a princess-looking, mythical Unicorn wearing all-white; sang Rachel Platten’s “Fight Song;’ hints: raised in Beverly Hills, was told she couldn’t sing and was “unworthy.’ Our guess: Tori Spelling.
Deer: a massive, evil-looking horned buck; sang “Thunder’ by Imagine Dragons; hints: knocked down many times, “in the Wild West’ you have to get back in the saddle, “Ravens beware.’ Our guess: Peyton Manning or John Elway.
Lion: flashy gold cat that looked very Caesars Palace; hints: Hollywood royalty stepping away from her “all female’ pride; sang “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody’ by Fergie. Our guess: Rumer Willis or maybe Khloe Kardashian.
The show airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET on Fox.