The most stunning collection of fascinatingly fetching femininity will take place on Sunday night January 25 where the finalists will compete for the most coveted title in beauty pageantry. But which contestant will be the most likely to cash in our Miss Universe picks?
Miss Universe, not to be confused with Miss World, features the loveliest lasses on this or any other planet, hence the name Miss Universe. I am certain we will be seeing contestants in the near future from as far away as Pluto and don’t get me started about those gray-bodied femme fatales from Mars with the skinny legs, big eyes (I mean really big friggin’ eyes) and a head that won’t quit. But for now we shall be embarrassingly provincial and assume the universe revolves around the gals from this planet.
So let’s take a look at the betting odds that the online sportsbooks are offering and see if we can nail Miss Universe - with our Miss Universe picks of course!
Miss Colombia +600 (Paulina Vega)
Coffee beans are no longer the only Colombian export that will get your heart racing. The lovely Miss Paulina Vega is this year's Miss Universe odds favorite to get crowned as the idyllic girl of your dreams. I say Paulina will have to get over being passed over in this one as she’s not the superstar stunner that a judge like the erudite and discerning Manny Pacquiao (yes, he is actually one of the judges) will be looking for as he favors large breasts ideally accompanied by legs and a head.
Miss USA +700 (Nia Sanchez)
Miss USA has home field advantage and that means more than you might think. Six of the eight American honeys to take home the prize did so in the good ol’ U S of A. This year’s gathering of world class hotties takes place in Miami so that could be crucial. Obviously gorgeous but this year’s edition of America’s sweetheart may be a bit too homegrown for judges like British celebrity Lisa Vanderpump (yeah, I know, that’s really her name- totally serious dude). Nia’s hot but not enough to only get back 7-1.
Miss Venezuela +750 (Migbelis Lynette Castellanos)
Every time I have to split hairs and find a flaw, any flaw in these women I feel like I have to begin with, “Not that Miss _ isn’t absolutely stunning but” so allow me to free myself from that repeated caveat. All these women walking into a room would make any man’s head swivel like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. So now that I have that out of the way; Miss Venezuela looks like smiling is something that she enjoys about as much as I like nailing shingles to a roof on a hot summer day. Not feelin’ it.
Miss India +1100 (Noyonita Lodh)
Bet her? I can’t even pronounce her! However, Miss India is sultry, sexy and flat out smoldering. She’s the exotic James Bond type girl that you picture whenever you think of, well, a James Bond type of girl. She can steal my secrets any time. Definitely worth consideration in your Miss Universe picks.
Miss Spain +1200 (Desire Cordero)
Looks like she could be starring in a Spanish soap opera but when compared to the bevy of buxom beauties she’s up against then you better be looking at a return of betting odds better than 12-1. If you want to bet on Spain, make sure you’re looking at their soccer team.
Miss Russia +1400 (Yulia Alipova)
Stunning blue eyes, ample décolletage and pearly white teeth but she’s got that kind of mail-order-bride smile that says “I really do find fat, bald middle-aged American men preferable to young, toothy Russian personal trainers”. I’m not buying it and I’m not buying her to win this year’s Miss Universe.
Miss Mexico +1800 (Josselyn Garciglia)
Yeah, I’d put a few dineros on Miss Mexico at 18-1. She may not be heavily stacked but she looks fun, playful and still drop dead gorgeous all at the same time. Nice combination and if she kills the interview portion of the event she could be a winner.
Miss Universe Pick: Miss India +1100