E.L. James' novel, Fifty Shades of Grey, sent women all over the globe into a carnal convulsion and now it appears there will be nothing left to the imagination as it is poised to become the newest chick flick. But who will be cast in the sexy male and female lead roles?
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me."
I'm not entirely sure why Fifty Shades of Grey suddenly became the Penthouse Forum for women everywhere but I can almost smell the estrogen in the air whenever I walk by the erotica/romance section of my local bookstore where E.L. James' novel is prominently displayed. Hell, I'm a red-blooded American male who likes his beer cold and his women hot. I scratch wherever I want, whenever I want and make no apologies. If a little spankin' is what women want these days then I will most certainly oblige...just as long as it's before or after the ballgame.
So for those of you who have no idea why your wife or girlfriend routinely reads Shades with one hand clutching the book while the other is buried deep beneath a down comforter, allow me to elucidate further. Apparently the protagonist is 27-year-old billionaire Christian Grey who comes complete with Hollywood good looks, a few multinational companies at his control and a ravenous appetite for sadomasochistic bedroom fun. In other words, he likes to dominate and turn his playmates into submissive drones. Well so do I but I don't have a few billion behind me to get the job done. Anyway, the entire premise is flawed because every 27-year-old I know wears a Tapout bracelet, to complement his tapped out bank account, and a ripped pair of blue jeans as opposed to a silk suit and tie to accompany a paycheck that resembles telephone numbers.
The virginal heroine is Anastasia Steele who is captivated by the savior faire of the cosmopolitan Mr. Grey. She is bewitched by his charm, not to mention his bankroll, and gets caught up in candle wax, handcuffs and safe words. Not that I know anything about this, just doing my due diligence. So now that we know all about this sordid tale, let's check out the betting odds at WilliamHill.com for my favorite candidates to snag the leading male and female roles for Fifty Shades of Grey.
For a complete set of odds head to William Hill.
Male Lead - Christian Grey
Ryan Gosling +300 - People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive in 2010 is a copper haired sophisticate just as Christian is described in the book who will no doubt get the ladies' fingers a-twitchin', backs archin' and toes a-curlin' but according to reports he's getting burned out. Me thinks he'll pass if offered what could turn out to be a cheesy role if the film tanks.
Ian Somerhalder +500 - He's a small screen heartthrob who wooed women with his roles in Lost and The Vampire Diaries. He is openly lobbying for the lead male but if you recall his only big screen role was in 2002's The Rules of Attraction - what's that, you don't recall it? Join the club; some actors just don’t translate to the silver screen.
Alex Pettyfer +600 - The London based heartbreaker could be exactly what director Samantha Taylor-Johnson wants in her leading man. She's an English filmmaker and may be willing to bet that Pettyfer will make American women swoon just as easily as their British sisters.
Aaron Johnson +2500 - Aaron Johnson is a 23-year-old English actor who just happens to be the boy toy hubby of 46-year-old director Samantha Taylor-Johnson. He may very well be harrumphing his way to a tantrum until he gets what he wants from his mommy, er, wife which is the lead role as Christian Grey.
Female Lead - Anastasia Steele
Alexis Biedel +200 – Definitely the odds-on-favorite as most online sportsbooks suggest due to her genteel nature and delicate naiveté, reflecting the ingénue that is Anastasia Steele. Short odds but those most likely to reward your online betting investment.
Mila Kunis +450 – If there is a god in heaven, Mila Kunis will accept this role. Shades will be a veritable flesh-fest and there’s no one on the planet I would rather see in her birthday suit than the lovely and talented Ms. Kunis. However, she may be too hot for the middle-aged yentas who will see Shades and ultimately declare the movie was not as good as the book.
Remember ladies, the brain is the most powerful sex organ in the body, thus your vivid imagination while reading the book will most likely trump the eye-candy on the screen. But I’m a guy; I have no imagination and pervs everywhere (or simply substitute the word men) won’t buy a ticket to see Mila, we’ll just surf the web and see the fleshy parts on Mr. Skin.
Emma Watson +600 – Hermione of Harry Potter fame? That cute little girl? The one we all watched grow up before our lustful eyes? Come to the dark side Emma…we’re waiting.
Anne Hathaway +800 - Hot or not? Well I’ll be damned if I can figure this one out. Sometimes she’s smoking and other times she looks burnt. I’ll pass.
Rooney Mara +1600 – This is the chick from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. If you’ve seen that then there is no way you can suspend disbelief that this pretty young thang isn’t anything but a crazy broad with an attitude. Definitely not Anastasia but could be the ideal pick once Ana moves from doe-eyed innocent to nasty nympho.