1. #1
    Doug
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    So how would you dispose of a body if you needed to ?

    The " What if someone broke into your house thread " got me thinking about it. Say I was an ex-con with a gun ( illegal) and somebody broke into my place and I killed them. I can't then call the cops, have to dispose of it myself, eh !

    I found this on the topic....

    First, be smart from the very beginning. Pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't reommend that disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.

    Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub.

    If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.
    That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.

    Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.

    Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you're get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.

    Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don't try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you're not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.
    posted by scarabic at 6:27 PM on June 13, 2004 [704 favorites]

  2. #2
    cant call it
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    get a car axle, roll it up with the body in chicken wire & dump it into the ocean. the car axle is big & heavy, but also long & skinny so it would roll up easy with the body, and the chicken wire would hold everything together on the bottom.

  3. #3
    Doug
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    getting rid of a body would be a huge problem if you had ties to it ( like maybe a boss, business partner, wife or something like that). If it was just random burglar....I'd just load the body in the pick-up and dump it somewhere, it shouldn't tie in with me in anyway.

    a real body to eliminate would be a huge problem, when you become a person of interest right off the bat, can't just dump that behind a shopping mall.

  4. #4
    spartangreen
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    acid bin

  5. #5
    MBENZ
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    Bury with plenty of lime.

  6. #6
    Landscaper
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    Freeze it solid then send it threw my wood chipper

  7. #7
    spartangreen
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    chop it up and feed it to the pigs

  8. #8
    Doug
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    Quote Originally Posted by cant call it View Post
    get a car axle, roll it up with the body in chicken wire & dump it into the ocean. the car axle is big & heavy, but also long & skinny so it would roll up easy with the body, and the chicken wire would hold everything together on the bottom.
    Well that would be awfully heavy and you'd probably need a helper ( you wouldn't want anybody else to know about this, and you'd need a boat.

    as long as you have a boat, I like this idea better. Instead of an axle....

    several heavy cast iron weights for barbells ( maybe 100 lbs total), some chain maybe 2 lengths of 4 ft or so and 4 padlocks. Attach 50 lbs around each ankle with the chain and padlock it , that should keep the body submerged once it gassifies and wants to float upwards. Simpler than the axle thing.

    Hopefully you drop it it in at least several hundred feet of water, the deeper the better. It's not likely to be found and I'd think it would decompose pretty well.

    If you have the luxury of a boat and a nearby ocean or great lake.

  9. #9
    MexicanStallion
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    Old scarabic has put some serious thought into that question.

  10. #10
    sneakerhead
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    We got dexter in the house

  11. #11
    BigDaddy
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    i wish i had not read this

    i feel sick now.

  12. #12
    Doug
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    Quote Originally Posted by Landscaper View Post
    Freeze it solid then send it threw my wood chipper
    A guy did that on forensic files, almost worked, he stopped on a bridge towing the chipper, did it into the river, a single tooth landed on the bank of the river, was found and he got busted....

  13. #13
    Doug
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    Quote Originally Posted by spartangreen View Post
    chop it up and feed it to the pigs
    That would work pretty well if you had a farm and a couple hundred of acres of land, then bury the bones in the cornfields. If you don't have a farm or boat....ain't gonna be easy.

  14. #14
    EaglesPhan36
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    I'd move it to the Saloon and start a thread about it for an extra SBR point.
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    stevek173 gave EaglesPhan36 1 SBR Point(s) for this post.


  15. #15
    Fieldysnuts44
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    Feed it to hogs.Theyll eat bones and everything

  16. #16
    Doug
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    Quote Originally Posted by MBENZ View Post
    Bury with plenty of lime.
    That would be quite difficult, actually. You don't want to bury a body in your backyard. It would be very difficult to dig a 6' hole without heavy equipment , and you don't want it shallow where an animal digs it up.

    Very risky do try that in a forest or something and a huge amount of labor to boot.

    You have very little chance of getting away with murder ( of someone tied to you), pretty fair chance of random stuff like those DC area snipers from 7-8 ( ?) years ago

  17. #17
    Wulfman14
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    i feel sorry that my thread spawned this dark thread.

  18. #18
    Doug
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fieldysnuts44 View Post
    Feed it to hogs.Theyll eat bones and everything
    That's cool then....if you have a farm and hogs ! Lacking that, a body is a big problem...if you can't just dump it in a remote spot because you won't be a suspect when it is found

  19. #19
    stevek173
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    Blast it into space with a cannon

  20. #20
    onetrickpony
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    take it downstairs and put it in spot number 118, i skipped 117 for a special someone

  21. #21
    stefan084
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    if I had a nickle for every body I disposed of I'd be one rich man

  22. #22
    Doug
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wulfman14 View Post
    i feel sorry that my thread spawned this dark thread.
    You did get me thinking about it.

    It's extremely difficult to get away with crimes like this ( unless random) is my point. The forensic abilities are amazing now. No point in killing a random person...that is insanity.

    I like shows like forensic files and the like. They could help a criminal, but I think they prevent more crimes than they aid. You have little chance of getting away with it.

  23. #23
    mike1234
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    What about soaking it in gasoline, bringing it somewhere remote and setting it on fire? If it's someone random, who cares about dental records, etc...

  24. #24
    paintball1084
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    get a ton of beetles and maggots which will eat the body. You will be surprised how fast they can do this. I would then be left with only bones. these bones will be sent through a grinder to make a very fine powder. I will then make a clay/bone pot to put in a shelf in my house.
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  25. #25
    AMcBoarder
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    Interesting thread. Sick but interesting. I think most people would be lying if they said they haven't at least contemplated the details of disposing of a body.

  26. #26
    freeVICK
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    if you live near ocean, boat out a few miles, drop body with weight attached. done deal

  27. #27
    JimmysEgo
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    find a constructions site where they already dug out what they need to. bury the body there. they will build whatever they are building on top of the buried body.

  28. #28
    Vindicate
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    Quote Originally Posted by freeVICK View Post
    if you live near ocean, boat out a few miles, drop body with weight attached. done deal
    gotta hit the current or they can find them

  29. #29
    InTheDrink
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    Take it to Japan

    It will disintegrate during the meltdown

    http://www.sportsbookreview.com/forum/saloon/983...meltdowns.html

  30. #30
    Doug
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    Quote Originally Posted by mike1234 View Post
    What about soaking it in gasoline, bringing it somewhere remote and setting it on fire? If it's someone random, who cares about dental records, etc...
    If it's someone random ( like a burglar you shot when you shouldn't have a gun) why bother doing anything more than dumping the body somewhere ?

  31. #31
    HeeeHAWWWW
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    Take it to some asshat's house, dump it in the shed, then call in an anonymous tip to the cops.

  32. #32
    ProfaneReality
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    theres no doubt in my mind doug is contemplating killing his wife

  33. #33
    Jericholic
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    Feed it to some pigs.

  34. #34
    MendozaLine
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  35. #35
    HeeeHAWWWW
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    On another note, mildly disturbing that this thread gets so many replies.....

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