1. 02-01-11 02:57 PM #71
    thefonzo
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    Do you have any German in you?

    Want some?


    Go to a casual bar in which you know the bartender, and open a tab. Bring some friends to hang with (pool, darts, etc.). When she is at the bar, approach and buy her a drink. Tell the bartender, "keep those coming until she tells you I look good." Walk back to your friends. Sounds lame, but the self-depracating humor works.


    How about this one:

    Do you have a telescope? Because later tonight you'll see my balls right next to Uranus.
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  2. 02-01-11 03:06 PM #72
    Eskimo
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    I'm sure 95% of you haven't said anything of these, but it's been an amusing read.

    Here's one...I take no credit.

    "If I flip a coin what are my chances of getting head?"
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  3. 02-01-11 03:14 PM #73
    itchypickle
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  4. 02-01-11 03:16 PM #74
    nyjets15
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    Saw this on a preview to a movie about to come out:

    "Excuse me...can u tell me if this napkin smells like chloroform?"

    made me laugh pretty hard
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  5. 02-01-11 03:42 PM #75
    thefonzo
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    "I'll bet you $20 that you'll turn me down"

    "Do you want to dance, or should I go **** myself again?"

    "What's the difference between a blow job and a hot dog?" (I Don't Know) "Let's go have lunch"

    "Can I have your roommates number?" She'll get pissed, then you say, "I just want to let her know that you'll be staying at my place tonight."
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  6. 02-01-11 06:14 PM #76
    itchypickle
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    Quote Originally Posted by FuzzyDunlop View Post
    "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

    Or...."Let me buy you another drink....I accidentally dropped TWO roofies in that one and ...to be honest...those things are expensive and since you're not THAT hot..I'd rather you be somewhat conscious so you can get the hell out when I'm done."

    True story...
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  7. 02-01-11 06:20 PM #77
    maersksealand
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    your eyes have the color of my Porsche
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  8. 02-01-11 06:28 PM #78
    ssk13809
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    "hey I post on SBR"

    All the girls going to be dropping on you after that one
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  9. 02-01-11 06:39 PM #79
    bondi_slacker
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    Quote Originally Posted by ssk13809 View Post
    "hey I post on SBR" All the girls going to be dropping on you after that one
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  10. 02-01-11 06:40 PM #80
    obamaismyuncle
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    nice shoes, wanna fukk?
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  11. 02-01-11 06:41 PM #81
    pavyracer
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    why not adthe.net anymore????
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  12. 02-01-11 06:42 PM #82
    pavyracer
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    Mods!! Move post above to no more adthe.net thread.
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  13. 02-01-11 06:44 PM #83
    bondi_slacker
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    in a bar or nightclub, just come by and start spring-break-dancing to her, when she says "wtf" you answer "your friends gave me 20 bucks to give you a private dance"
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  14. 02-01-11 09:37 PM #84
    Cougar Bait
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    I have a new one that can NOT be beat.

    "My name is Bobbyfk. I am a virgin moderator on SBR and I am well versed in velcro and toothpaste. Let's fuk."

    That gets you laid 90% of the time. Probably 100% if you are eating Skittles at the time.
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  15. 02-02-11 12:27 PM #85
    cant call it
    BAMA UP!!!
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    "fukk me if I'm wrong, but your name is helga"
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  16. 02-02-11 12:59 PM #86
    Chugs
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    Hey, do you remember me? ... Oh, that's right, I've only met you in my dreams.

    You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

    Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?
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  17. 02-02-11 01:05 PM #87
    forloveofthegame
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    Quote Originally Posted by cant call it View Post
    "fukk me if I'm wrong, but your name is helga"
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  18. 02-02-11 03:06 PM #88
    Cougar Bait
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    These are the best ones so far


    For girl:
    Quote Originally Posted by minet123 View Post
    You motion with your index finger for a chica across the room to "come over here"
    once she walks over
    you say to her
    If I could get you to come with one finger can you imagine what i can do with all ten
    For twink:
    Quote Originally Posted by jjgold View Post
    "Hey young Lad do you want a banana?"
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  19. 02-03-11 09:46 AM #89
    The Sensei
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    I'm not usually this tall, I'm just sitting on my wallet
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  20. 02-03-11 10:18 AM #90
    THE HITMAN
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    It may be a bit old school, but then again, so am I, but nothing works as well as just approaching, introducing yourself with name only, (no I'm an big athlete, doctor or engineer stories) and just tell her she looks very pretty..........and politely ask if you both could talk a bit and maybe get to know one another better. It's not very innovative, won't make her laugh etc.(plenty of time for that later), but the upside is that there is not one thing negative with it. It eliminates all room for stupid errors, shows your politeness and let's her know you think she's nice.
    Now, if you're after a biker chick................
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  21. 02-03-11 10:24 AM #91
    Aviator
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    Well if you're really desperate you can pull the sympathy card. "My dad just got cancer...been really trying to get over it by going out with friends but it hasn't helped". This is where you insert your oscar-worthy tearjerk performance... "I'm feeling really down right now."

    Girl: "Is there ANYTHING I can do to make things better?"

    Guy: "Well.....there is one thing."
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  22. 02-03-11 12:06 PM #92
    cant call it
    BAMA UP!!!
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    "he aint been right since she left"
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  23. 02-03-11 12:52 PM #93
    Nicky Santoro
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    If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?
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  24. 02-03-11 01:11 PM #94
    DeluxeLiner
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    Hey, if you thought Jaws was big wait till you see my Great White
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  25. 02-03-11 01:25 PM #95
    shaggy3000
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    Quote Originally Posted by THE HITMAN View Post
    It may be a bit old school, but then again, so am I, but nothing works as well as just approaching, introducing yourself with name only, (no I'm an big athlete, doctor or engineer stories) and just tell her she looks very pretty..........and politely ask if you both could talk a bit and maybe get to know one another better. It's not very innovative, won't make her laugh etc.(plenty of time for that later), but the upside is that there is not one thing negative with it. It eliminates all room for stupid errors, shows your politeness and let's her know you think she's nice.
    Now, if you're after a biker chick................
    well yeah. if there is a girl at the bar youre really crushing on you clearly would try to use a pick up line on her. you would just have to gather up the courage and say hi. but when youre having some fun. what the hell.

    But just saying hi will work the best.
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  26. 02-03-11 01:29 PM #96
    VTranX
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    you like mcdonalds? cuz im loven it.
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  27. 02-03-11 01:33 PM #97
    shaggy3000
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    ok. the one i used on my ex that clearly worked. she was standing in a group of guys and i was piss ass drunk.

    Me: Hi, do you have a boyfriend?

    Her: yes.

    Me: ok well here's my number. next time he's a douche give me a call. ( gave her my number and walked off ) thats what i remember.

    then like 20 minutes later in my drunken stupor i was dancing with this other girl. saw her ( didnt know it was her ) so i throw the girl to the side and walked through the dance floor and said Hi my name is David. whats yours. where she started to explain to me that she just told me and that i had her number . checked my phone and there was a missed call from a new number and the rest is history...
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  28. 02-03-11 01:46 PM #98
    MMAchicka
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    That is the lamest pick up line... and it doesn't work unless she is a whore.
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  29. 02-03-11 01:55 PM #99
    MMAchicka
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    Ok my previous post was to the *** when I finger you... I have 10 more. If she can take more than 1 she is loose.
    Secondly the best is when you are dancing and some guys starts bumping you... AND he actually knows how to dance! Then I know he has got moves on the floor so they must be good in bed. Then I make him wait, and wait, and wait. Usually 4-6 weeks. But don't worry if she makes you wait- It is always worth it!
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  30. 02-03-11 02:05 PM #100
    shaggy3000
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    Quote Originally Posted by MMAchicka View Post
    That is the lamest pick up line... and it doesn't work unless she is a whore.
    never said it was the best just that it worked. and nothing happened when she had a bf. the only girl i waited til she was single to make a move. probly the last
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  31. 02-03-11 02:32 PM #101
    PLAYA-PLAYA
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    "YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH For A FAT CHICK"
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  32. 02-03-11 05:51 PM #102
    forloveofthegame
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    Quote Originally Posted by PLAYA-PLAYA View Post
    "YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH For A FAT CHICK"


    fukkin priceless will use it this weekend when im piss ass drunk
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  33. 02-03-11 06:02 PM #103
    Cougar Bait
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    This is officially in first place now

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicky Santoro View Post
    If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?
    Come good ideas here though guys, keep going
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  34. 02-03-11 06:07 PM #104
    Pew Pew
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    I hope you know CPR cuz you take my breath away.
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  35. 02-03-11 06:08 PM #105
    mebaran
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    This one works every time:

    "I bet you a drink I can kiss you without using my lips." (Kiss her)
    "Oh well, what would you like?"
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