[Cuse0323]

WTF is this Andrew Luck retirement shit too? Maybe he can send me 30K, the bitch.

[Cuse0323]

Fckin Uber only lets you add in increments of $25. WTF. I got 3.60 on one card, and 9 on another then 10 on Uber. That’s one damn ride.

[Cuse0323]

All those damn tips fcked me.

[Cuse0323]

I got 750 points, which is a fourth of the 3000 to go Pro for $100. For a $25 Uber gift card. I’ll video the whole shit. And a 175 FP.

[Cuse0323]

7 miles away. I can gimp that in about 3 and a half hours. I’m doing it. I told her I’d get it back. I’m getting it back. Gotta do shit yourself sometimes.

[Cuse0323]

Cancel all that. I’ll take care of it.

[Cuse0323]

Never thought I’d dig through carpet for crack. I used to do this for weed 15 years ago. Goldie is right.

[allabout the $$$]

Never thought I’d dig through carpet for crack. I used to do this for weed 15 years ago. Goldie is right.

get your shit together! i swear im rooting for you to get right

[Cuse0323]

I just want to apologize to whoever I didn’t listen to. Whoever had/has my best interest at heart. I just have to get back to work tomorrow on this foot. My boss already knows the deal that I’m doing something. But, I called in so late today which infuriated him cause I was trying to push through it to get there. Then he had to find someone. Which is dumb because we have one other busser, I guess I could have called to try to take my shift. No chance his lazy ass does on a Saturday. Boss always tells us we should be able to work with 2. Well they had 3, then the opener can leave so it’s 2 closing. He pushes us to me nearly passing out from dehydration. We’re not allowed breaks, food, or water. I’m the only one who does the grunt work. My body is destroyed.

I just wanna crawl into a ball, cuddle with my pup, and die. I’ve pushed through so much in my life that you guys don’t need to care about. Call me a bitch, a baby, selfish, druggie, drunk, or whatever you want. I’ve fought, and fought some more. I don’t think I have any fight left in me. All I wanted was to see my girl, and take her to see her dream of Harry Potter at Universal. Then it turns into this because I was so alone. In no way am I saying that this is her fault. She has her own demons. She had to take care of herself.

I’m just about done. Only thing that keeps me going is making sure that my blue eyed beauty has food, water, and gets outside. Even if I have to drag myself out there to take him out. 14 years side by side. Sleeping next to me, and being there for me. I don’t only care about me. I care about my dog a lot. I care about the bullshit I put my mom through. It’s hard to say I fully care because she allowed a lot of what happened to me to occur. Other than that, yeah, I care about me. But, I have given so much to so many. When I had money, it was everyone’s money. When I had drugs, then one for you, and one for you, then another for you, and another for you. I don’t eat if someone else is hungry. I’m no fckin saint. That’s for damn sure. I love alcohol, and drugs. They make me forget what I had to endure growing up. The abuse, and the yelling, and the slamming of everything. The shit I won’t talk about on SBR that happened to me. Then my Dad bounces on me, goes silent on me, and kills himself right after I turn 21. What the penetrate was I supposed to do? This was one month after a girl I thought I loved ditched me. I already had a drinking and drug problem. I tried so hard to take enough, and drink enough to die. It just won’t happen. I just wish it would.

Shaky fckin calls me as I’m writing this, and crying. He says he doesn’t want people sad on Sunday or some shit. My car will be in my garage in the morning. Yeah, I bet. I can’t deal with it anymore. Keep the car. I’m just gonna say goodbye, and get what I deserve.

[allabout the $$$]

get your shit and move on

[Cuse0323]

get your shit and move on

Move on to what? The streets? I can’t go get it now unless I can pull off a 4 hour walk. Been told to stand down.

[allabout the $$$]

Move on to what? The streets? I can’t go get it now unless I can pull off a 4 hour walk. Been told to stand down.

honestly i hear nothing but excuses. do whats necessary to make things right.

[allabout the $$$]

i was in tampa last week i as i have property there. i wanted to tell you to come up but do you really think i wanted you around my kids with all the shit you have going on? im in tampa at least once every 2 or 3 months but i cant have someone like you around my kids till you get your shit right

[Cuse0323]

i was in tampa last week i as i have property there. i wanted to tell you to come up but do you really think i wanted you around my kids with all the shit you have going on? im in tampa at least once every 2 or 3 months but i cant have someone like you around my kids till you get your shit right

Understood. I mean I could walk four hours with the foot of Frankenstein for the chance of getting it in the worst part of Daytona when my mom told me to wait until tomorrow for the police to get the document they need. I would never expect you to have me around your kids. I love kids, and they seem to love me, but of course not man. Never. But, I don’t think that I’m the evil man you think I am now.

I had a real bad week, week and a half. I can keep them excuses coming, and I will. I wanted my girl to come down. Badly. It was my only thought for over a month. She didn’t. She couldn’t. So, I spent all the money I had saved for Universal on drugs, donations, and some robberies. I’m a drunk, drug addict that got a job after a 9 year hiatus, and was alone. I met some whore while looking for Xans to stop drinking because it was destroying me, and that’s all she wrote. It got worse, but I couldn’t go to detox. I should have just got the pills, and been out. It turned into some shit. Robbed here, and there. Finally got some. By then, I don’t know what happened. They all wanted to hang with the white pushover with money, so I tried crack. I wanted friends. So, I hung out. It feels nice to be wanted when you’re all alone. Even if they just want your money. I like to make people happy. Buying them a bottle here, and there felt good. Some meat, and sauce for dinner, yeah, felt alright. I’d explain more, but who cares. Could go into my childhood, but in the end, I made a horrible mistake. It will change my life for a good while. That’s fine. I deserve it. I’ve done shit like this before driving around drug dealers because maybe it makes me feel tough. I don’t know. I didn’t have a $$$ growing up teaching me life lessons. I was surrounded by alcoholics, addicts, and women beaters. Happy to say I’ve never done the latter.

[Cuse0323]

Will absolutely admit I’m a 31 year old child. I never grew up. I’ll somewhat avoid the excuses. I’m still 13, basically. The day my family died, and I lost a father figure. I’ve been learning on the fly. I get life. I just get that it’s shit.

[gauchojake]

you will not get better by getting the car back or going to work

go to a meeting

this is hard to watch pal

there's an app called "Meeting Guide" that will get you a list of meetings close to you

i promise you there is no better way to meet people who understand what you are going through

[Cuse0323]

you will not get better by getting the car back or going to work

go to a meeting

this is hard to watch pal

there's an app called "Meeting Guide" that will get you a list of meetings close to you

i promise you there is no better way to meet people who understand what you are going through

I know this, Jake. But, at the same time I’ve had so many chances. If I’m not clean by the time they’re all back, then I’m out. They’re done with helping. I should have got it by now basically. I know AA is free, so I will try to get into it, but I say that all the time. I just don’t know how I get there. I need to find a friend in the program.

I have to work. That is the lifeblood of what my mom thinks existence is. I knew this would happen. I wasn’t clean yet, and then I’m gonna make money. I made it look nice for a while, but it was inevitable. Money in my pocket means bad things. Hell, I made it this far from May. Then they left me an empty house, and a car.

But, I’m on medication, so all is well in her mind. Sorry for the excuses, but this was doomed from the beginning. Eating week old pasta to survive. I have to go to work tomorrow. There’s two things that matter to my mom. Work, and money. The fact that I was working, and getting paid was more important than the empty vodka bottles found. I need long term rehab. I won’t get it, so I have to make this work. By working. And I guess she’s fine with me moving into the house this all started at. I’ll have free reign at crack with my paycheck. 400 a month to sleep in some corner, but I can walk to work. That’s about a grand for alcohol, and drugs a month. Which ain’t shit, but they’re hustlers, so I’ll join up. I want to smoke that shit so damn bad right now it’s sickening. I keep searching.

[Cuse0323]

I know this is awful. but I just found a good sized piece between my dog’s toes. Unreal. I can finally relax for the night. My little guy always has my back. Yes, it’s terrible.

[reigle9]

he's just posting to you cucks cause i call him a f\*g pussy cuck

[reigle9]

dog should always be #1, he didnt choose you

[jts1207]

I know this is awful. but I just found a good sized piece between my dog’s toes. Unreal. I can finally relax for the night. My little guy always has my back. Yes, it’s terrible.

Gimme a fn break guy

[reigle9]

Gimme a fn break guy

explain this comment

you think he's lying? not everyone lives in a fake fukkin reality fantasy world homie

[reigle9]

WTF is this Andrew Luck retirement shit too? Maybe he can send me 30K, the bitch.

he said, in a text, to adam shefter, "cuse is being too much of a cuck, i cant handle it, i'm retiring" then he killed himself and his entire family, cause of you, being a fukkin \*\*\*\*\*\* cuck

[reigle9]

our girl likes nascar too, she's damn near perfect

she prob married a cuck nerd tho

[gauchojake]

I know this, Jake. But, at the same time I’ve had so many chances. If I’m not clean by the time they’re all back, then I’m out. They’re done with helping. I should have got it by now basically. I know AA is free, so I will try to get into it, but I say that all the time. I just don’t know how I get there. I need to find a friend in the program.

I have to work. That is the lifeblood of what my mom thinks existence is. I knew this would happen. I wasn’t clean yet, and then I’m gonna make money. I made it look nice for a while, but it was inevitable. Money in my pocket means bad things. Hell, I made it this far from May. Then they left me an empty house, and a car.

But, I’m on medication, so all is well in her mind. Sorry for the excuses, but this was doomed from the beginning. Eating week old pasta to survive. I have to go to work tomorrow. There’s two things that matter to my mom. Work, and money. The fact that I was working, and getting paid was more important than the empty vodka bottles found. I need long term rehab. I won’t get it, so I have to make this work. By working. And I guess she’s fine with me moving into the house this all started at. I’ll have free reign at crack with my paycheck. 400 a month to sleep in some corner, but I can walk to work. That’s about a grand for alcohol, and drugs a month. Which ain’t shit, but they’re hustlers, so I’ll join up. I want to smoke that shit so damn bad right now it’s sickening. I keep searching.

Cuse - you have to live your life how you see fit. If you want to find a solution, you know where to look.

[reigle9]

Cuse - you have to live your life how you see fit. If you want to find a solution, you know where to look.

the bottom of a bottle and kid rock

[gauchojake]

the bottom of a bottle and kid rock

you're correct. the drugs and alcohol are not the problem but in fact the solution to life's problems.

[The Kraken]

I know this, Jake. But, at the same time I’ve had so many chances. If I’m not clean by the time they’re all back, then I’m out. They’re done with helping. I should have got it by now basically. I know AA is free, so I will try to get into it, but I say that all the time. I just don’t know how I get there. I need to find a friend in the program.

I have to work. That is the lifeblood of what my mom thinks existence is. I knew this would happen. I wasn’t clean yet, and then I’m gonna make money. I made it look nice for a while, but it was inevitable. Money in my pocket means bad things. Hell, I made it this far from May. Then they left me an empty house, and a car.

But, I’m on medication, so all is well in her mind. Sorry for the excuses, but this was doomed from the beginning. Eating week old pasta to survive. I have to go to work tomorrow. There’s two things that matter to my mom. Work, and money. The fact that I was working, and getting paid was more important than the empty vodka bottles found. I need long term rehab. I won’t get it, so I have to make this work. By working. And I guess she’s fine with me moving into the house this all started at. I’ll have free reign at crack with my paycheck. 400 a month to sleep in some corner, but I can walk to work. That’s about a grand for alcohol, and drugs a month. Which ain’t shit, but they’re hustlers, so I’ll join up. I want to smoke that shit so damn bad right now it’s sickening. I keep searching.

Unfortunately you’re not being rational right now. Thats just part of being strung out and spiraling out of control which is what you’re doing.

But if you do have a moment of clarity today, call your pain mgmt dr and tell him you need help and ask him to admit you to an inpatient rehab unit. Start over and do it right

You’ve already lost your job, you just dont know it yet.

[reigle9]

you're correct. the drugs and alcohol are not the problem but in fact the solution to life's problems.

alcohol: the problem, and solution to, all of life's problems

[reigle9]

alcohol: the problem, and solution to, all of life's problems

homer said that before everyone smoked pot, now we can just get drunk, smoke pots, and make fun of nerds

[reigle9]

Unfortunately you’re not being rational right now. Thats just part of being strung out and spiraling out of control which is what you’re doing.

But if you do have a moment of clarity today, call your pain mgmt dr and tell him you need help and ask him to admit you to an inpatient rehab unit. Start over and do it right

You’ve already lost your job, you just dont know it yet.

look at this fuckin dweeb internet character trying to gibve advice, he says he makes like 795378325785328352y8o5346o8 34 dollars a fuckin hour changing bedpans, yet cant put up[ a 100 on the site he lives on

idk anyone else, but im pretty fukkin sure 2+2 isnt fukkin potato

[The Kraken]

Wondered when you would be along to clutter up the thread

[reigle9]

Wondered when you would be along to clutter up the thread

you dont even try to hide cuck mentality lol, that's just so great



y

[Cuse0323]

Unfortunately you’re not being rational right now. Thats just part of being strung out and spiraling out of control which is what you’re doing.

But if you do have a moment of clarity today, call your pain mgmt dr and tell him you need help and ask him to admit you to an inpatient rehab unit. Start over and do it right

You’ve already lost your job, you just dont know it yet.

I have to wait until they at least get back, and someone can watch my dog. She just wants me at work. However the hell I have to get there. Getting help isn’t in the cards. I’m supposed to clean up on my own before they’re back.

[Heltah Skeltah]

You r 31 years old and have no clue what to do..be it in the streets or living like a man. Go get into a rehab inpatient program and stay as long as you can. After reading this thread it is clear you have no chance without it. I thought you might be in your early 20 reading it..but man you 31 and have no clue . You not cut out for the streets as these people taking you for all you got and you calling mommy..you need help asap and it needs be inpatient program