1. 01-27-10 07:06 PM #1
    mathdotcom
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    Want your rent deposit back? This works every time

    We have all been there. We rented a place and over time something breaks. Yeah it could be wear and tear and the owner can't fault you for it, but you don't want to take the chance. I am no fukkin handyman so rather than just fix it, I conceal it.

    Boys last summer I was renting a place from this asian cross-eyed nitwit, hated that cokksucker and everyone in that building. I had to duke the fukkin landlord just for having a barbecue on my balcony (http://www.sportsbookreview.com/forum/players-ta...g-manager.html). How the fukk else am I going to roast my italian peppers and make dogs before game time??

    Anyways, I broke so much shit in that apartment you have no idea. One of the toilet handles broke off, the frame of a drawer in the kitchen broke, and the pole in the closet fell off. Most of you dumb fukks would hire a repair man or try and fix it yourself, driving in rush hour to tool shop buying nuts and bolts and nails only to find out they don't fit and you have to go back. Boys, the only thing in my toolkit is crazy glue. Will it solve the problem? Fukk no, at least not most of the time. It is just a temporary fix for when the owner does the walk through.

    I was standing there as this cross-eyed fukk looked around for scratches and holes in the wall and shit. What a dumb fukk, did not even try checking the toilets. The toilet handle was glued solid, it wasn't even connected to anything it was just glued directly onto the tank!! The kitchen drawer would have broken the second he pulled it open, and can you believe he did not even check the closet pole thing you hang shit on?? Everybody knows to check this as many tenants like to use it as a meathook.

    I was trying to hold in my laughter as he walked around impressed with how clean it was. Wait til that fukk takes a dump and it won't flush.

    You all wish you were sharp like me
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  2. 01-27-10 07:44 PM #2
    Grandmaster B
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  3. 01-27-10 07:45 PM #3
    flyingillini
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    call me, 805 line.
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  4. 01-27-10 07:52 PM #4
    reno cool
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    Think I'm going to glue an extra handle on the toilet just for the **** of it.
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  5. 01-27-10 09:26 PM #5
    odusmykal
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    Mathy, i like your style.. Most people would never think of these ideas.. Gonna suck for the next tenants though.. They're gonna be calling everyday after they move in and that asian kocksukker will think its them fukking up his place.. They will both be so mad at each other, it will be hillarious!!
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  6. 01-27-10 09:28 PM #6
    onthewhat
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  7. 01-27-10 09:35 PM #7
    Deuce
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    Get your deposit back? Usually it is used as last months rent if all is well.
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  8. 01-27-10 09:37 PM #8
    tltaylor89
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    Theirs a law where lby if youre landlord is given 14 days to fix the problem if he can or refuses you are entitled to all rent you have paid.
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  9. 01-27-10 09:38 PM #9
    PAPSMEAR
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    i did something similar in a fully furnished rental once. had a candle goin in the lounge room that i knocked over onto the carpet. the carpet got covered in wax and was all singed and burnt causing a real friggin mess about foot by a foot. so what did i do but rearrange the furniture of course. just told the buck toothed buzzard that came to inspect when i was leavin that i'd moved the lounge (and other items) around to take advanatge of his wonderful view. he got all choked up with pride and couldn't thank me enough (for trashin his joint). never heard boo from him. the lounge probably hasn't been moved since i was there more than 5 years ago. big surprise when it is.
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  10. 01-27-10 10:46 PM #10
    urge2kill
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    In my first apartment my dog tore down the mini blinds in one room. They didn't even notice them missing and gave me my full deposit back.
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  11. 01-27-10 10:49 PM #11
    bobbyfk
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    what did you have a pole in your closet for?
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  12. 01-27-10 10:51 PM #12
    1st and Ten
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  13. 01-27-10 10:52 PM #13
    1st and Ten
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobbyfk View Post
    what did you have a pole in your closet for?
    Hang clothes Robert
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  14. 01-27-10 10:53 PM #14
    tltaylor89
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    Robert
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  15. 01-27-10 11:02 PM #15
    Tchocky
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    Thanks for wasting our time with your amusing anecdote.
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  16. 01-27-10 11:09 PM #16
    THEGREAT30
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    just have sex with the girl at the front desk
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  17. 01-27-10 11:29 PM #17
    bobbyfk
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1st and Ten View Post
    Hang clothes Robert
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  18. 01-29-10 11:40 AM #18
    mathdotcom
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    was unclear sorry bobby

    i love scamming
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  19. 01-29-10 11:43 AM #19
    coloradobuff
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    hilarious stuff here.
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  20. 01-29-10 02:24 PM #20
    PittsburghPlayer
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    Some funny shit man. Cool!
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  21. 01-29-10 02:34 PM #21
    Glitch
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    got anything for getting drunk and spillin mad sh*t on the carpets??
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  22. 01-29-10 06:15 PM #22
    podunk
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    you are the man
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  23. 06-26-12 05:37 PM #23
    mathdotcom
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    Another mathy classic

    True story

    Really hope that the next guy to use the toilet took a dump and had his boxers around his ankles as he tries to flush the fukkin toilet
    i should've sealed the tank too so he can't get in... imagine his girlfriend is outside askin him what's taking so long and he can't leave the toilet like that
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