1. #1
    Mr KLC
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    What Would You Do In This Situation?

    My wife had been thrown in the position of caring for her 80-something year old father. She is the baby of the family. My wife, and I, have been caring for him for the majority of the last 21 years, because people would always take advantage of him, and leave him out to dry. The man was so kindhearted that he would give the other 2 kids all of his money, and go without hardly any food. We had to bring him into our house to protect him from being taken advantage of, and frankly protect him from his kindness.

    Eventually, he got to the point where he physically could not take care of himself. My wife got medical power of attorney so that serious decisions could be made. This was a tedious chore on our entire family. We had to have someone up with him 24/7 because he would try to get out of the bed, and possibly fall. Her family would want to see him, but never offered to really help. I would meet the family at an outside location so they could visit, because we didn't want them in our house. He was hurt a year ago, and put in the hospital when he fell. My wife, and I, struggled with whether, or not, to tell her family because we knew that there could be drama involved. We relented, because her father was 82, and having a surgical procedure. They showed up late, 30 minutes before the procedure. It wasn't 15 minutes until her sister started yelling about my wife's dad having a "Do not recessitate" bracelet on, and demanded for it to be taken off immediately. The nurse had to call security, and have the entire family escorted out of the hospital. We have sheltered her father from them for the last year. They have burned my phone up, knocked on our door for up to an hour, and even visited our pastor to try and see him. We never answered them because it was hard enough caring for the old guy, and did not want to have to deal with the interference, and drama from them.

    My father in law died yesterday. Now we have to decide whether to tell the family because we know of the drama that will ensue. We are contemplating letting them know after he is buried. I don't want a repeat of the hospital visit. I feel like I'm doing the right thing, but from the outside, without knowing all the facts of past history, it looks like a shitty thing to do. Any comments?
    Last edited by Mr KLC; 06-08-14 at 11:05 AM.

  2. #2
    Mr KLC
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    Meant to edit, but accidentally replied with quote.

  3. #3
    meader99
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    Tough spot, but not telling them may start more drama. God willing, after the funeral, the drama will be over.

  4. #4
    easyliving
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    regardless of everything that happened its your duty and their right to know and they should be their for the burial. You gotta let them know.

  5. #5
    freeVICK
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    Wow that's rough. Prayers to you and your family.

    You gotta tell them

  6. #6
    leetreaper
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    Guy is asking a real life advice on a forum filled with losers, you can't make this shit up....seriously dude...

  7. #7
    King Mayan
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    Tell the family... It will create more drama in the long run.. Just get it over with.. Trust me..

  8. #8
    JAKEPEAVY21
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    I agree with the previous posters...regardless of all the drama, he is their father and they have a right to know.

    Sounds like you and your wife are class acts, KLC

  9. #9
    Wulfman14
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    Quote Originally Posted by leetreaper View Post
    Guy is asking a real life advice on a forum filled with losers, you can't make this shit up....seriously dude...
    why dont you stfu ?
    Nomination(s):
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  10. #10
    leetreaper
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wulfman14 View Post
    why dont you stfu ?
    You are a stiff and a scammer, don't fukking EVER talk to me clown...

  11. #11
    Mr KLC
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    We talked to the funeral director. We get a private viewing in the morning, then the rest of the family will see him for the 2 hours before we go to the grave site. That way we only see them during and after the graveside reception. The only thing that concerns me is what happens after the service is over. I'm going to try and ignore the slurs, and names I get called, and just get to the car. Have told one family member, that we trust, so she can tell the rest of them. Already have had the sister come by the house this afternoon banging on my door with her daughter, and 3 grand kids. They don't know that he has died yet, and my wife don't want me to tell them, especially in person, because when the emotions of the sister escalates, something might happen with no witnesses present. At least at the funeral, there will be outside people to see what's happening.

    There are a couple of future prisoners with this family, that I'm worried will try something after its all said and done. My sister, and her husband, are coming from another state to support me, but I've told her they can't stay at my house due to possible danger. It sucks to have to live like this, but at least my father in law died in peace, with no dramatics.

  12. #12
    TheCentaur
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    This sounds a lot like "Million Dollar Baby"

  13. #13
    Mr KLC
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheCentaur View Post
    This sounds a lot like "Million Dollar Baby"
    The family I'm dealing with is quite similar. Brother is on disability, but can walk 1 1/2 miles to the favorite fishing hole. His son has been arrested several times, and just turned 18. Sister is drama queen. Oldest aunt is similar to Harriet Olson on Little House. Can't wait to spread the gossip, without being concerned about who it can hurt. I feel for the sister's two kids, and their children. I had to shut them out when they did nothing wrong. If I had let them visit, they could have told their mom something quite innocent, and she would have twisted it into a major fiasco just to cause trouble. This put my wife, and I, in an all or nothing situation, and probably ruined my relationship with the sister's two kids who we were quite close with when they were children.

  14. #14
    Auto Donk
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    Quote Originally Posted by easyliving View Post
    regardless of everything that happened its your duty and their right to know and they should be their for the burial. You gotta let them know.
    I gotta agree with easyliving on this one..... sorry for your loss and all the hard times you've had to endure during those tough years of caring for him, Mr. KLC.... God bless you and good luck with the inlaws.....

  15. #15
    Auto Donk
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    leetreaper, at least he has a brain, something your 'tardded ass is clearly lacking.......

  16. #16
    rkelly110
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    31 years ago, I was married in a family like that. Glad I GTFO. I can't stand drama, though I can hold my own if
    it has to come up.

    Did he have a will? If so, are the kids/ grandkids getting anything?

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