[ParlayininHTown]

So did you go join a gym? Nobody there will judge you. Everybody is there doing their own thing. Put your earbuds in your ear and nobody will even talk to you. No reason to fear the gym. Go become best buds with the iron. Punish it. Take out all your anger on it. Beat the everliving fukk out of it. Now. No excuses, just go fukkin do it.

I will seek a gym membership in the coming days. It couldn't hurt to exercise more, but I must admit that I am much more worried about my ability to carry a conversation, flirt, etc. etc. than how my body looks.

I'm not strong at all, but I tend to think women are more repulsed by my noticeably receding hairline at the age of 25 than my lack of muscle strength.

I don't want to be a "lost cause," but I sure feel like one. I blew it when I was younger, man. I don't even know how everything could go so wrong when I consider that I have a college education, I pay all of my bills, I'm quite self-sufficient, I have a nice (albeit boring) car that I bought this summer, and I have a solid job that pays relatively well (for a young, single man).

I can't figure out how I could suck so much socially, but it's pretty much been that way my entire life. It's always been hard to connect with women or even make friends with guys. I'm always afraid to try as hard as I should.

Back in high school, I didn't want to be that loser who got rejected by a couple of girls whom he had to see every day. I couldn't stand the thought of having to face girls who rejected me on a daily basis, and I suppose that fear just extended itself over the years. I know now a rejection would simply end with me walking away and likely never seeing that woman again, but I still fear she will scrutinize me loudly in front of others or just start laughing at the thought of me thinking I was in her league.

These are irrational fears. Yes, there are jerks out there, but there are also some great people who would probably accept me and show interest. Problem is, no matter how rationally I speak and think when I am in my shell, once I'm out there in social settings, all rational thought goes out the window.

I just wish I didn't feel and think like this. At times, I feel so lonely and worthless that I wish I had never been born. It's not like I'm suicidal or feeling really depressed, but some nights I am all by myself and I know it's all my fault.

I'm afraid of being hurt, yet I wind up hurt in a "safer" manner anyway. I guess it's easier for me to be upset with myself for thinking "what if" than it is to deal with the reality of rejection in various forms. In a sense, I'm just not a man.

[DoYouNotGetIT]

My guess you grew up with a single mother or your father didn't give a crap about you. If I did high school all over again I won't care about grades, the only thing you should care about in high school is your social life, a part-time job, and maintaining a B average (3.0 GPA). Your parent's failed you in that department of teaching you how to be social. Not saying every boy needs to be taught how to be social, but if my kid is a f*ck up and cannot be social guarantee he will be going to the stores or mall and hitting on girls. Also if I have a son he will be learning how to skateboard and I am getting him a fake ID when he goes to high school. (Unless my kid turns out to be a genius,gay, or MLB/NBA/NFL talent than I would have to change this plan because of Ivy League school or the pros.)

I 100% regret not trying to be a stereotype in high school. Skateboarder, DJ, jock, preppy kid, musician, and so on

[chilidog]

While lifting while help your body, it will help your mind more than anything. I 100% guarantee to you that lifting heavy weights will change your confidence. You will have a much higher self-image of yourself. People want to be around confident people. And don't worry about having a conversation, that will come to you. It's 100% about confidence - that's it. Once you know in your head that you are the shit, that you don't give a fuk what other people think about you, because you already know that you are the fukkin king, then everything becomes easy. And yes, getting your ass to the gym and lifting heavy weights will make that happen. It's the very first step.

I will seek a gym membership in the coming days. It couldn't hurt to exercise more, but I must admit that I am much more worried about my ability to carry a conversation, flirt, etc. etc. than how my body looks.

I'm not strong at all, but I tend to think women are more repulsed by my noticeably receding hairline at the age of 25 than my lack of muscle strength.

I don't want to be a "lost cause," but I sure feel like one. I blew it when I was younger, man. I don't even know how everything could go so wrong when I consider that I have a college education, I pay all of my bills, I'm quite self-sufficient, I have a nice (albeit boring) car that I bought this summer, and I have a solid job that pays relatively well (for a young, single man).

I can't figure out how I could suck so much socially, but it's pretty much been that way my entire life. It's always been hard to connect with women or even make friends with guys. I'm always afraid to try as hard as I should.

Back in high school, I didn't want to be that loser who got rejected by a couple of girls whom he had to see every day. I couldn't stand the thought of having to face girls who rejected me on a daily basis, and I suppose that fear just extended itself over the years. I know now a rejection would simply end with me walking away and likely never seeing that woman again, but I still fear she will scrutinize me loudly in front of others or just start laughing at the thought of me thinking I was in her league.

These are irrational fears. Yes, there are jerks out there, but there are also some great people who would probably accept me and show interest. Problem is, no matter how rationally I speak and think when I am in my shell, once I'm out there in social settings, all rational thought goes out the window.

I just wish I didn't feel and think like this. At times, I feel so lonely and worthless that I wish I had never been born. It's not like I'm suicidal or feeling really depressed, but some nights I am all by myself and I know it's all my fault.

I'm afraid of being hurt, yet I wind up hurt in a "safer" manner anyway. I guess it's easier for me to be upset with myself for thinking "what if" than it is to deal with the reality of rejection in various forms. In a sense, I'm just not a man.

[chilidog]

Yup, it's never about what you know - it's always about who you know. Life is all about connections.

My guess you grew up with a single mother or your father didn't give a crap about you. If I did high school all over again I won't care about grades, the only thing you should care about in high school is your social life, a part-time job, and maintaining a B average (3.0 GPA). Your parent's failed you in that department of teaching you how to be social. Not saying every boy needs to be taught how to be social, but if my kid is a f*ck up and cannot be social guarantee he will be going to the stores or mall and hitting on girls. Also if I have a son he will be learning how to skateboard and I am getting him a fake ID when he goes to high school. (Unless my kid turns out to be a genius,gay, or MLB/NBA/NFL talent than I would have to change this plan because of Ivy League school or the pros.)

I 100% regret not trying to be a stereotype in high school. Skateboarder, DJ, jock, preppy kid, musician, and so on

[DoYouNotGetIT]

Yup, it's never about what you know - it's always about who you know. Life is all about connections.

It is not even about money, it is about living life to the fullest instead of trying to be the best. Most people will never be rich. Anyone who has an accounting, Computer, or IT degree is usually a nerd with a bad social life. I would rather have my kid live life to the fullest as a DJ, car mechanic, A/C mechanic, plumber, or some job like that than have him get great grades in school and college than be a Engineer. Can some men do great social life, college degree, and become rich, but most do not. Most people go to college become a corporate worker and make $30,000 more than a plumber. Also just because he is a mechanic, plumber, or so on doesn't mean he cannot start his own business.