Originally Posted by
buztah
Select a urinal, preferrably one closest to another gentleman relieving himself. This is important as you do not wish to offend him by callously indicating you are scornful by choosing a urinal on the opposite side of the room. All guys wiz. It is no big deal. This is male bonding time.
Once at the urinal, unzip and take your kok and balls out -- let them hang freely. If your balls have been itching, now is a great time to scratch them.
Turn to the gentleman next to you, smile, ask him how he is doing and compliment him on his endowment (even if he has a tiny kok you must pretentiously praise him -- one of life's must lie situations.)
Point your kok toward the centre of the urinal and maintain control at all times whilst pissing. It is impolite to splash the boots of the nice man next to you. While you will be tempted to bomb off a fart or two, you must resist the urge until noone is standing next to you. These are the little inner battles we must fight daily in order to maintain a modicum of respect for our fellow man in these days n times.
Once the stream has weakened, you will need to lean closer into the urinal's opening to finish up. Give your tolly a good series of jerks out and up, shooting excess drops of pee into the urinal. Repackage your twig n berries within your undies and zip up carefully (never rush this step or you might get a severe nip from the unforgiving teeth of the zipper).
If desired, wash your hands and exit gracefully.