[Let's Go Rangers]

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

[DeFactoCrippler]

when i saw the joke was more than one line i stopped reading

think most people hate lawyers cause most lawyers are jews

hope this helps

[Jayvegas420]

Didnt I just read a lawyer joke thread here a week or two ago?
I posted on, I'm sure of it.

[Boner_18]

Hilarious. But not as funny as the $325/hr i charge for lawyering. Suckers.

[Jayvegas420]

Actually quite reasonable.
Where do you practice?

[Jayvegas420]

A young couple in love were in an automobile accident the night before their wedding, and both were killed.

In heaven soon afterward, the guy told St. Peter, "My fiance and I really miss the opportunity to have celebrated our wedding vows. Is it possible for people in heaven to get married?"

St. Peter said, "I'll tell you what--wait five years and if you still want to get married, come back and we will talk about it again."
Five years pass and the couple still wanted to get married. They repeated their request to St. Peter, who told them, "I'm sorry, but there's a problem. You'll have to wait another five years."

After another five years go by, they brace St. Peter again. This time he answers, "Yes, you may marry now. Thanks for your patience."

The couple got married. However, they soon found that they were not compatible. Going to see St. Peter, they asked if their was such a thing as divorce in heaven. St. Peter gave them a thousand-yard stare, and finally muttered, "Look, it took us ten years to find a minister up here. Do you have any idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?"