We had a lot of meetings where they would say, 'Hey Mike, you're getting way too ****** up.' But we're all really good friends and we love each other and I think they actually thought I was going to die, but they never took steps to kick me out of the band, which I can't believe because I ****** up so many times. I was drunk and making an ass out of myself and they were concerned about it....I'd clean up for a little while then I'd fall off the wagon, like addicts do....When everything blew up, everybody kind of lost their minds....I was clean for about a month...well, semi-clean; I can't bullshit about that...but I fell off the wagon after the Kurt Cobain thing. That ****** with everybody really hard. I mean, how do you get to that point of depression where suicide's the only way out?
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