[High3rEl3m3nt]

Wife's dad and brother flew into town last night. Her brother is alright, but her dad is a little off his rocker. Wife works nights and so after picking them up from the airport, I bring them back to the house and get them situated. One of the first things that I notice her dad doing is rummaging through our mail on the counter. He acknowledges me and acts like he's reading my wife's magazine...Home and Garden or something other. I ask him if he's a fan of that magazine and he responds that it has some good articles every now and then. This is Day 1 and he's staying at our place for almost two weeks. What's a guy to do?

[Br0nxer]

Put a whole box of ex lax in his cereal tomorrow morning

[RubberKettle]

If he wants to act like a dick let him.....at the end of the day you're still banging his little girl.

[mrmarket]

Give him $30 bucks a day and drop him off at OTB for 2 weeks.

[Br0nxer]

Pic of your old lady or it never fukkin happened

[ebbearsfb1]

Show him the porno you 2 made the night before... that'll get him to the airport real quick

[ngates815]

Pics of the brother or it never fukkin happened.

[High3rEl3m3nt]

It's complicated because he's not a typical guy-guy, so I am not sure how he'd react to me confronting him. He's a band instructor, vegetarian, Adventist, and tucks his shirt into his jeans without a belt. He's also food-moody too...if he doesn't eat every couple of hours he's becomes a wreck.

Mother-in-law is flying in on Thursday and I'm thinking of playing the sides here. Every time she visits, she has to do a "project." She's the epitome of a busy body and he hates to do busy work. It's the only way I can fight back. Definitely can't talk to the wife, because she lacks tact with these sort of issues.

[griz]

unreal

get a divorce

[Br0nxer]

Shirt tucked into his jeans with no belt

What a *

I will personally come over and cave his head in if u want me too

[jjgold]

Fuk him

Thats why I let no family in my basement
never invite anyone over, fuk that hamburger

all vegetarians are fukkin hamburgers aroun d here if we know one is we throw fukkin steaks at their fukkin heads
I would put a fukkin gun to his head and ask him what you looking at pal
scare him away so he thinks your fukkin nuts anhd will never come over again

[Br0nxer]

Fuk him

Thats why I let no family in my basement
never invite anyone over, fuk that hamburger

all vegetarians are fukkin hamburgers aroun d here if we know one is we throw fukkin steaks at their fukkin heads
I would put a fukkin gun to his head and ask him what you looking at pal
scare him away so he thinks your fukkin nuts anhd will never come over again

Fukkin prikk would get buried in jersey

[King Mayan]

Get some boxing gloves and throw some putasos.. Thats the only way to solve problems.

[MC PICKS]

Motel 6 is your friend.

[opie1988]

Fuk him
Thats why I let no family in my basement
never invite anyone over, fuk that hamburger
all vegetarians are fukkin hamburgers aroun d here if we know one is we throw fukkin steaks at their fukkin heads
I would put a fukkin gun to his head and ask him what you looking at pal
scare him away so he thinks your fukkin nuts anhd will never come over again

[High3rEl3m3nt]

You guys are all recommending solutions that would surely end my marriage. I need civil disobedience-type strategies. So far, I got ordering a pepperoni and spicy Italian sausage pizza tonight...unfortunately, that's it. He's uncomfortable with guns, maybe I'll clean my 45's while the game's on?

[Stocks]

Dude that's pretty whiped letting your wife talk you into having your inlaws stay at your house for 2 weeks.

It should have went like this

Your Wife: Hey my family is comming to stay with us for 2 weeks.

You: **** no woman, they're not ******* staying here for 2 weeks.

Your Wife: Says some bullshit who the **** knows your not even listing anymore the games on.

Your Wife the next day: Ok they're just going to stay for a week.

You: No try again

Your Wife later that day: 4 days

You: 2 days max

Your Wife: 3 days

You: Ok 3 days is good now suck my dick bitch

[Dirty Sanchez]

You guys are all recommending solutions that would surely end my marriage. I need civil disobedience-type strategies. So far, I got ordering a pepperoni and spicy Italian sausage pizza tonight...unfortunately, that's it. He's uncomfortable with guns, maybe I'll clean my 45's while the game's on?

First off, he's a band instructor which sends a huge red flag....you need to learn and recite the Riflemen's Creed out loud from Full Metal Jacket so he hears you.....that will scare the crap out of him and send him packing because he'll think you snapped

[Dirty Sanchez]

[jjgold]

You guys are all recommending solutions that would surely end my marriage. I need civil disobedience-type strategies. So far, I got ordering a pepperoni and spicy Italian sausage pizza tonight...unfortunately, that's it. He's uncomfortable with guns, maybe I'll clean my 45's while the game's on?

Highead get the fuk out of your marriage man, I know your miserable and you should not have to deal with this shit

I bet he was looking to steal too, where did these fukkin hamburgers come from??
Be single like us and have no issues

Do you want me to call him and I will tape for sbr??

[cant call it]

Put it inside of his wife.

[RubberKettle]

Do you want me to call him and I will tape for sbr??

[jjgold]

Yeh I will say I am a detective and we get a complaint about a guy looking through stuff basically attempted robbery

common man lets do it

I will make it great

[ngates815]

Do you want me to call him and I will tape for sbr??

Higher make this fukkin happen...The guy gets a random phone call nothing will come back to you.

JJ will ear rape him.

[mighty maron]

You guys are all recommending solutions that would surely end my marriage. I need civil disobedience-type strategies. So far, I got ordering a pepperoni and spicy Italian sausage pizza tonight...unfortunately, that's it. He's uncomfortable with guns, maybe I'll clean my 45's while the game's on?

Play really annoying music with deep bass when you and him are only there. Play a Hindi radio station on pandora or live365. few things un-nerve a guest like music that runs very counter to the guest's taste.

[jjgold]

Higher make this fukkin happen...The guy gets a random phone call nothing will come back to you.

JJ will ear rape him.

I can bury him, going to ask him what he was looking for and throw shit out like condoms, panties, money, keys, ect

Also going to ask him does he do this at everyone's house??

[Avenger]

jj knows how to roll, no wonder the women can't resist him.

[High3rEl3m3nt]

I can bury him, going to ask him what he was looking for and throw shit out like condoms, panties, money, keys, ect

Also going to ask him does he do this at everyone's house??

JJ,

This would get back to me. I know that when you get heated, you are bound to say anything...uncontrollable. Too risky.

[High3rEl3m3nt]

They live in Florida and they've never stayed less than a week. This is probably the only time of year that I wish I lived in a small home. Unfortunately, our house is too big to say no. Soon, the mother-in-law will arrive, wife's fire fighter uncle from Montana (everyone hates him at the station--he's lucky to be in a union), and her grandmother.

This family is something out of a Hallmark movie. Everyone talks syrupy sweet, proper, and they are all Adventist. Do you guys know much about this religion? They love to talk about the END TIMES like we love to talk about gambling.

I just hope that whatever project they decide to do around the house won’t be as disastrous as last year’s project. Guy decides to re-caulk our bathtub for no apparent reason…it was not leaking. After he finishes, it starts to leak. I had to re-do the whole damn thing.

The biggest thing about her family is that they are completely opposite of my family.

My family:
-Loves guns. Dad bought us a Colt Combat Commander .45 for our first anniversary.
-We are chill. We don’t go to church.
-We eat meat. My dad is a bachelor. We don’t eat salads.
-We are down to earth

Her family:
-Turtleneck sweater types
-They look forward to family Christmas photos—I hate family photos
-They look down if you don’t serve food in a Christmas themed serving bowl.

[seaborneq]

Go to work everyday. At night eat and go to bed early, repeat 13 more times.

[yahoonino]

Motel 6 is your friend.

taking them to motel 6 and dont leave the light on,,,

[ZetaPsi808]

They live in Florida and they've never stayed less than a week. This is probably the only time of year that I wish I lived in a small home. Unfortunately, our house is too big to say no. Soon, the mother-in-law will arrive, wife's fire fighter uncle from Montana (everyone hates him at the station--he's lucky to be in a union), and her grandmother.

This family is something out of a Hallmark movie. Everyone talks syrupy sweet, proper, and they are all Adventist. Do you guys know much about this religion? They love to talk about the END TIMES like we love to talk about gambling.

I just hope that whatever project they decide to do around the house won’t be as disastrous as last year’s project. Guy decides to re-caulk our bathtub for no apparent reason…it was not leaking. After he finishes, it starts to leak. I had to re-do the whole damn thing.

The biggest thing about her family is that they are completely opposite of my family.

My family:
-Loves guns. Dad bought us a Colt Combat Commander .45 for our first anniversary.
-We are chill. We don’t go to church.
-We eat meat. My dad is a bachelor. We don’t eat salads.
-We are down to earth

Her family:
-Turtleneck sweater types
-They look forward to family Christmas photos—I hate family photos
-They look down if you don’t serve food in a Christmas themed serving bowl.

guy sounds like a wanna-be tim allen from home improvement. this scene sounds hilarious they should make a movie about your in-laws. it would be awesome

[8ArIvd5]

If you want to be a pacifist, cough every time he does something you don't like.

[jjgold]

JJ,

This would get back to me. I know that when you get heated, you are bound to say anything...uncontrollable. Too risky.

[High3rEl3m3nt]

Evening update:

Home from work. Pull into the driveway and hear a trumpet. Apparently, my father-in-law is performing a trumpet solo in church this Saturday and needs to practice. I have seen him perform before and he’s the type that wants everyone to know how good he is, which means that he’s loud as hell. Fortunately, he likes San Francisco and I’m thinking that he’ll wrap things up before kickoff. BTW Pitt +3 and feeling good about it.

I need to get this out now:

FUK YOU, YOU MOTHERFUKTING, SALAD EATING, SKINNING ASS BITCH! QUIT ASKING ME FOR WORKOUT TIPS, THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU…YOU DON’T HAVE A PRAYER.