[JAKEPEAVY21]

Couldn't sleep and looking for a few laughs..I'll start

It was a typical morning in 7th grade gym class, we were doing different things for the Presidential fitness challenge. The PE Teacher instructed us all to team up with a partner who was to sit on your feet while you did as many situps as you could in one minute. This gym class was coed and probably about 200 or 300 students total. This day my stomach was acting up but I didn't think much of it. I teamed up with a friend and held his feet down while he did his situps, now it was my turn. I was off to a fast start and going for the gusto. About halfway through, stomach starting building pressure and I tried my best to hold it in. A massive roar filled the gymnasium and the friend who was holding my feet jumped back in shock and fear. A massive fart rippled through the air. The whole gym class was laughing and I had nowhere to hide. Thankfully I didn't shit my pants but that was the only silver lining.

[FourLengthsClear]

That's nothing.

On my 18th birthday after a night out with friends I was stripped naked (and I do mean naked) and handcuffed to some railings. The b@st@rds stood about 100yds away killing themselves with laughter. Eventually (it was about an hour because there was no payphone nearby and mobiles/cells were still very rare back then) someone called the police who freed me and had a good laugh about it too.

[smoke a bowl]

That's nothing.

On my 18th birthday after a night out with friends I was stripped naked (and I do mean naked) and handcuffed to some railings. The b@st@rds stood about 100yds away killing themselves with laughter. Eventually (it was about an hour because there was no payphone nearby and mobiles/cells were still very rare back then) someone called the police who freed me and had a good laugh about it too.

Respect.

[Dank_Fire]

Ive ripped ass a few times in class

[smoke a bowl]

Ive ripped ass a few times in class

Yeah but you weren't embarrassed.

[Dank_Fire]

Yeah but you weren't embarrassed.

After it was common knowledge that i crapped my pants, i was

[smoke a bowl]

After it was common knowledge that i crapped my pants, i was

Word.

[Dank_Fire]

What you do dude? Drink bong water or some shit

[smoke a bowl]

What you do dude? Drink bong water or some shit

I'm too stupid to be embarrassed about anything.

[Dank_Fire]

[jjgold]

caught wacking off by hot girls at a party whereas I was in closet

I never forgot it..one of reasons I have so much anger

[Dutch]

My aunt had a shower in her basement, I was using it. All my female cousins hot friends were in the living room. I'm 15 or so at the time, so were they. I come up out of the baesment with 1 hand full of clothes and my shoes and other hand holding the towel. The basement door is right off of the living room.

I dropped my shoes and for some stupid fuking reason I let go of the towel to grab the shoes, my towel falls off and I'm bent over completely showing everyone in the room my brown eye and my ball sack...Girls start squeeling, my cousins yelling "O my god! Oh my God!"

So I drop everything and take off running. Felt like fuking crying.

Now it's an inside joke, I still see some of the girls around and they always say "I saw your butt!" Yeah bitch, you saw more than my butt. You've seen parts of me I've never seen.

[Ra77er]

@ Brown eye, funny story Dutch.

[frankzig]

Many years ago started a job, was standing with my new boss woman watching and commenting about sexing them up.After about 1/2 these two BEASTS walk up and I comment about How Fat/ugly they were, He looks at me and says That's my mom and sister.
Transfer next day

[TR88]

Many years ago started a job, was standing with my new boss woman watching and commenting about sexing them up.After about 1/2 these two BEASTS walk up and I comment about How Fat/ugly they were, He looks at me and says That's my mom and sister.
Transfer next day

[mcaulay777]

Made it thru school ok.Only thing that happened to me was these girls that lived down the street were like 15 -17 and i was in 8th grade at the time after a couple of years they finally started talking too me so one day i was walking too school and they drove by and stopped the car and said Hi Do You Want a ride,so i started walking too there car when all of a sudden this girl came running by and hopped into there car and drove off right when i got there car oooh wanted to just go off and hide luckily they were in high school and like i said was in middle school.Awful should of known better.

[zam77]

Good friends 4th grade b-day party with all the boys in the class (no girls thankfully). We were outside slip and sliding and for some reason I decided I didn't feel like going to the bathroom yet to take a dump... was having too much fun I guess, figured I squeeze cheeks for a few and hold it. Plan backfired... pretty good sized poo came out after my turn on slip n slide. Didn't tell anyone and hurried into house bathroom. Went in bathroom and dropped poo in the toilet and cleaned up dirtstar, but didn't know what to do with my swim trunks so I threw them in the garbage in bathroom and put some tp over it to hide them. Went and put on my normal clothes and went back outside figuring I got a way with it. About 20 minutes later, birthday kid's mom comes out and asks who crapped their pants. I was the only one in my normal clothes and she nailed me for it... Fukin bitch didn't even have the common courtesy to bring me inside and tell me in private... called me out on it in front of all the kids and yelled at me because she smelled my dump trunks in the garbage. Pretty much sucked but I played it off... still cool with everyone after that cuz I was already popular kid... did take some "shit" for it though.

[KingJD31]

i mean really a fart?? on a 6th grade field trip from ny to jersey my friend literally shit his pants about a half hour away and hes wearing shorts and all you see is dark brown streaks going down his leg.............and you just farted

[Full Time Hobo]

This is definitely a good thread.
Thanks for the laughs guys.

[ebbearsfb1]

lmao...

farting is funny at any age.


mudd butt

[ebbearsfb1]

[v1y]

I'm expecting some points for this one.

November 1, 2004, a day I will never forget.

I was 16 years old, going along with my daily routine (masturbating in the shower after school.) However this time was different. At the moment of climax, I felt a sharp sensation in my penis, and when I looked down, blood started coming out in unacceptably large quantities. Panicked, I had no idea what to do, so I went online and asked some people for advice (the forum I posted on is private now, but it was instagib.com).

Their response was unanimous, "If this isn't a joke, get to the hospital ten minutes ago"

I didn't have a car though, so what was I supposed to do, call a cab? Wait for my mom to come home and tell her what happened?

Eventually, my brother and mom came home, and so I decided to show my brother the thread I posted online, and told my mom I needed to go to the walk-in clinic, and my brother assured my mom I needed to go. However, my mom wouldn't budge,

"Tell me what happened!"
Me: "Well... my dick is sorta bleeding"
"Alright, I'm going to call the walk in clinic, you tell me what happened, and I'll tell them"

I ripped the phone out of her hands pretty fast, and explained to the lady over the phone my situation. She told me the place was empty and that we could go in right away.

So me and my mom are in the car and she's trying to figure out what happened, "Were you scrubbing too hard? Did you itch it?". Me: No mom, I don't think that was it.

We walk inside the walk in clinic, and what do I see, a hot girl at the reception table. My mom immediately opens her mouth, "Oh hey we were just on the phone earlier!" The receptionist's eyes and mine met for a brief moment, however it felt like an eternity.

I go in and see the doctor, he takes a peek, and tells me it should clot and I'll be fine. Turns out I had 'Snapped my frenulum'. The doctor prescribed no sexual activity for two weeks, and my only thought was, "wtf, the longest I've ever gone is two days"

I'm still not sure if my mom knows what happened, and my friends still bring it up all the time.

[pedro803]

I'm from out in the sticks in Louisiana, when I was a little kid I dreamed of being a home town basketball star, unfortunately I was a good shooter but didn't turn out to be too gifted physically, slow, short arms, can't jump..... you know -- sophomore year I was a bench warmer, spring of 1982 actually.

We used to play these weekend tournaments that would go all day on saturday, one time we won on saturday morning and then had to wait around all day for a night game, -- was a pretty exhausting day. That night with a few seconds left in the game we had finally secured the game, not by a lot.... maybe 8 pt lead with 13 seconds left or something like that -- my buddy and I had been working hard in practice and playing pretty well so the coach put us in. The high water mark of my whole basketball career LOL

Well I don't know how it happened because I had been watching the game intently, but long story short we inbounded the ball to me and I turned and shot at THE WRONG GOAL -- no not the Nate whatever his name is from the Knicks way, I actually took a real shot at the wrong basket during regulation.

Didn't realize what I had done, till a guy from the other team, their best player actually, said "wrong goal buddy" The charmic kicker was that my buddy that went in with me was also disoriented in the same way and was standing under the basket all alone hollering for the pass LOL -- instead of passing I greedily took the shot that was my undoing for the season!!

Coach was fuming mad, he took it to mean that I was daydreaming and not into the game, couldn't have been further from the truth. It was a long long long ride home on that pitch dark yellow school bus -- and I was so embarrased of it as the word made its way around our small school -- we were too small for football so basketball was our main gig.

Next year we had a different coach, he didn't like me and that was the end of my beloved basketball.

so how's that?

[jjgold]

Nude///////////

Was in gym class and was stripped naked when i was 16 and the bullies got rid of my sweats, no where to run, went into a corner

Do you guys see why I am always angry

[TR88]

Nude///////////

Was in gym class and was stripped naked when i was 16 and the bullies got rid of my sweats, no where to run, went into a corner

Do you guys see why I am always angry

[Jacobi]

Well. I was a beginner in a martial arts class and in one of the classes we were being taught how to handle three attackers at the same time. I was chosen as the target and these three guys bigger than me began rushing me. Well, I dropped them one by one and was having a good time but as I've said they were three. Guys. So I was hyperventilating but I guess my classmates were just having a good time watching me throw these guys off until I coughed and saliva spattered on the ground because of my hyperventilation. Practice stopped right there until I got a rag and cleaned it in front of everybody. I mean, how painful is a downfall like that? I was just thankful I didn't splatter any of the guys. =D

[Ra77er]

Jacobi sounds like you had a menage a tois with 3 dudes and were spitting up baby batter.... unreal what people post on a gambling board.

[MoneyLineDawg]

I'm a junior in high school, girlfriend is a hot sophomore.....We are chillin at my house late at night when my family went to sleep and I have her suckin my dick real good.....All of a sudden ring at the door and I know it's her fukkin mom to pick her up early......She stands up and I have this boner hard as a fukkin rock that definitely won't go down.....The only thing I have on is a pair of small gym shorts so I pull them up and we both stand up to say goodbye........I figure she will just walk outside and that'll be that......

All of a sudden her mom slowly opens the unlocked door (WTF?) and looks over to us immediately (We were hanging out in a room you can see when you walk in)....I have an obvious rock hard rooster that will not be close to hiding and I just stood up, and her mom just says let's go now! as she shakes her head in disgust.....Meanwhile I have blue balls coming on as all of this is happening and it fukkin hurts so bad!!

Anyway, me and my gf were so embarrassed about it and for a few weeks we didn't really see eachother that much besides for at school.....Her mom acted like nothing happened though after that and it was all good.....Probably cause she wanted my rooster as well!!

[bozeman]

i had a speech and composition class, where i held a speech on what happens to an egg in the microwave, and how to prevent it - something like - that i don't really remember details. Anyway - after that speech i carelessly put the egg into my jeans pocket. pockets were pretty deep and baggy - so i didn't worry about squezzing the egg. One way or another i forgot to take the egg out, and after 1 or 2 classes - i had a presentation on my country at the history class. And pretty soon - like 1-2 minutes after i had started people starting giggling and staring at me strange, including the teacher. that made me question myself- why even the teacher is barely not laughing- then i looked down and saw leaks coming down from my zipper. looked like i peed in my pants - but somebody said it was the egg from the composition class - and after that everybody laugheed including the teacher and i left the class to clean it up

[smoke a bowl]

I did something last night that I now find a little embarrassing. I ordered a Saints Jersey with Tebow on the back.