[statnerds]

So my wife and I had half an hour while my son watched spongebob's new show frozen face off.

start making with the love and taking our time. finally let her finish with a huge O and i look at the clock

shit

1 minute left

so she stands, turns and bends

i get it ready and slowly guide it in

and my little bastard 5 yr old knocks on the door and just starts babbling non stop about the new show. i need to finish but it ruins the mood for her

so here i sit

blue balled

waiting for the little fukker to fall asleep so i can bend my wife over

or toss one off myself

[mecabotuthor]

You don't really love your kid are you.

[chilidog]

You don't really love your kid are you.

all your base are belong to us

[tanner40]

Best of luck. I just gave it to my ex. Smoking a Rocky Patel and drinking a cold brew now.

[thekid667]

Well then take a cold shower or possibly ice your balls.

[gilbert91016]

Been there not kook feel your pain!!

[ballahollic2]

hahahahaha sounds like you hate ur kid

[Nittany Lion]

I know the feeling, go take a shower and yoink that baby gravy out of you....you'll feel much better.

[statnerds]

Hand job

her hand, not mine

love my kid, it is the people without kids that fail to see the obvious humor in the situation and the terms employed to describe it.

probably libs as well

[Yich123]

lmao i was the king of being blue balled once upon a time. sorry for your loss bro

[thaman79]

LOL! You have to be quick with it bro.

[FlipK11]

You don't really love your kid are you.

LOL, i think he had his head in other places at the time.

[pico]

yep. i hear a. i got blue balled by my gf's brother blabbering about getting a job

[PingPong]

lol blue balls? just use your hand

[Vaughany]

So what happened in the show? Did he enjoy it?

[teaserpleaser]

yet another reason not to have kids... go nightrider in the car Hall Pass style.

[jw]

Reminds me of a similar story .. had been dating only a few weeks so we were still in that "banging - anytime - anywhere" phase.

She had just put her young son on the toilet for a number two ... (he was still at that age where he needed help to wipe .. so we knew we'd be safe to bang out a quickie) .. she came back down stairs .. hitched up her dress and straddled me on the chair and we started going at it like rabbits ... after a few minutes we heard him shout "Mum .. i'm done .. " ... "Okay love .. i'll be right there ... " ... we go at it even faster with a slight hint of desperation now ... a couple more minutes ... "MUUUMMMMMM ... I'm DONEEEE" ... "OK - I'm Coming .... " (If only she was) ... then we hear a couple of bumps up there .. (assume he is getting frustrated now and banging on the floor) ... A few seconds later I finally explode and she jumps off me .. I manage to tuck myself away and at that very second her son appears in the doorway ... toilet roll in one hand and his other hand full of crap ... and says "I told you I was done .. but I think I got it myself... "

Guiltiest and yet most satisfied I had felt in a long, long time.




p.s. for some reason one of the kids favorite movies was "Titanic" .. so we used to let him watch it every Sunday morning while we had a 3+ hour "Lie-in" ...

Pro Tip : try getting him hooked on Gone with the wind or The 10 Commandments instead of spongebob ;0)

[raidersfan]

p.s. for some reason one of the kids favorite movies was "Titanic" .. so we used to let him watch it every Sunday morning while we had a 3+ hour "Lie-in" ...

Pro Tip : try getting him hooked on Gone with the wind or The 10 Commandments instead of spongebob ;0)[/QUOTE]

Dont punish your kid by getting him hooked on that shit.

[TodayIsForgotten]

There's always chloroform in moderate amounts to get him to sleep.

[JOHON8]

Personally I wouldn't share private matters like this in front of thousands of anonymous men.

[keyboarding]

There's always chloroform in moderate amounts to get him to sleep.

[icemaster47]

lol. The day my kid figured out how to turn on the tv was the day my wife got out of the 'anywhere-anytime' phase. Sigh